Thalimir, I am assuming you are new to Strolen, so first off, I´d like to say hello and welcome. Here, you will find some truly awesome stuff by some really talented people. Whether you are a gamer, a writer or a dreamer (myself, I belong in all three categories), there will be something here for you.
However, the quality of the submissions you will find here is due not only to imagination and creativity, but also to the effort and time put into a sub. As we say: "flesh it out". Make it sexy. Make it accessible. Make it ready for use or to be disassembled at the readers leisure. Make ´em sit up and perk their ears.
Most people here, myself included, never put less than a hour or so into a sub. A sub can be short, but then it should be BECAUSE it should be short and sexy, not because it is sloppily made.
Now, I´m not voting to remove this. I would LOVE to see a planet of Orcs, in a sub detailing regions, races, technology, politics, history - everything. You have the idea, now fill in the missing pieces. In fact, I´m sure you have all those ideas already, so dont waste them.
All good subs (as well as books) start off with an idea, which is what you have here. Instead of removing this, I´d love to see you excel and make this idea into something beautiful and terrifying.
First off, let me thank you for taking the time to post on the Citadel and for sharing your idea with us -- it's great to have new people join our community! Challenging your first submission was not something I wanted to do, but I feel that it will give you some needed time to expand and revise this idea until it's ready for public vetting. If you leave it up as it is now, you will probably get very low scores on it and that would be discouraging.
As a community, you will probably find that Strolenites have pretty high standards when it comes to published stuff. We like to see a submission that is well thought-out, described well, and easy to use in a game. This sub gives us very little to work with -- it's more of an idea seed or *possibly* a stub (a submission that receives no votes because it is short and/or incomplete).
If you want to revise this and try again, I would suggest first reading the following article by MoonHunter: Five Best Tips for Posting on Strolens and Other Places. Then I would start looking at this idea that you have, and really seeing where it could be fleshed out. Why is a planet that is ruled by orcs and humans unusual? I read this and immediately thought of Azeroth, the game world of World of Warcraft. How is Telchar different?
Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions. Or, if not me, try connecting with another Citadel member. While we can be a critical bunch, you will find that we also strive to be helpful whenever possible. There are tons of people on here who are more than willing to bounce ideas around, especially with new authors. Hop into chat, or try a forum thread -- you're sure to find someone willing to listen and/or give advice. Go to Comment
In nature, for instance, a rhino has flies and ticks etc, that live on the hide and live off the blood. Rhino will visit and lie in ponds where turtles will clean the underwater portion of the ticks and a species of bird will clean the the top of ticks and other parasites. What if where the characters camp there were a species of animals that lived off wounds of the creatures. PCs camp. Anybody with wounds on there body are soon covered with small rodent - insect - shadows - whatever. Would immediately see it as a threat I would imagine. But perhaps one of the wounded didn't wake up when it happened, and when they did finally wake they were completely healed. Perhaps somebody was warned of something attacking them but they were able to notice that the wound was actually getting smaller instead of larger. Or maybe they successfully beat the creatures off them and don't notice an improvement, marking this place never to rest at ever again....later learn that villagers send their wounded there but they keep it a guarded secret because they don't want all the attention or traffic and what comes with such a special gift. Could turn into something more too if characters decide to start blabbing about it.