Only Voted. I like. Go to Comment

A sailor purgatory.

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Only voted Go to Comment

A good central concept for a believable sailors' purgatory.  I agree that it could be rewritten slightly for greater clarity, but it didn't bother me that much.  I wonder how intelligent the crabs are -- they almost seem like a sort of celestial being in disguise.  Overall, well done :)  Definitely consider submitting this to AG's A New Take on Hell.

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Solid, usable submission, entirely appropriate for a nautical themed adventure. I like the feeling of hopelessness, with a vague outline of forgiveness. Plenty of room here for adventure.

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Thanks everyone, for the comments and votes.

I didn't envision the crabs to be sentient. Their only purpose is making sure no soul that is still stained with sin proceeds onto the island. To that end, they have the ablilty to sense out impurity, but there is no way to reason with them, because they only really have the rudimentary intelligence of an arthropod. Of course, that's just my interpretation, other users may decide that they are low ranking angels, assigned to this task.

I went back and rewrote the repetitive section of the second paragraph, it should be easier reading now.

I wrote this piece in response to the codex on Hell, but I don't know how to link them. I looked at the codex submission, but I can't find a "suggest submission" button anywhere. Should I just add a comment with a linkback to here?

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It took me a few rereadings to understand that the repetition in the beginning is intentional, though I still feel it could be handled in a more clear manner.

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Well, isn't this basically how DnD since the 3rd edition portrays halflings?

(hence why I suggested to post first in the forum, to polish it before it makes front page)

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Simply put, this is an elaboration on the basic DnD setting, which cannot be blamed for excess ingenuity. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'd like to see something new, special... and the basic DnD halflings have their own chapter in the... Races of... Destiny? Or races of the Wild, or whatever. So, my 0.02$ would be - if you write them up, you may as well make them something special. As for a race/culture write-up in general, go to greater breadth, depth and allocate space to topics according to story potential and importnace. So far, you may consider it a finished product, but not one I'd a) use b) rate highly.

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If you want to make this compatible with the base DnD, yet interesting, build upon existing stuff and make it interesting and inventive.

Let's take a look:

a) The caravan: let's face it, painted wagons pulled by whatever have been done a million times. Screw this.
For example, Dragon Age made a simple change to the nomad elves - their wagons have sails. Hooray, originality!

But this is DnD.
So we can get ridiculous, yes?

Leomund's Tiny Huts taken to the extreme!

Apparently, while halflings are rarely archmages, they DO have skill at enchanting, in groups, permanent versions of the various DnD housing spells.
If you really want to put it in rules, you can go like this: "Feat: Halfling Travel-House-Builder... if X halflings with this feat gather for X days, they can enchant a permanent version of (housing spell).
It may be limited in use to avoid flooding the market with portable housing.

So, a halfling caravan stops, and they deploy a town. Some have portable cottages, some portable palisades, some even a portable tower or great gathering hall. PCs go to sleep on a plain, they wake up in a halfling town. Poof.

Alternatively, they may have sodding wagons, but they are bigger inside, or connected with portals if close to each other, or...

b) Stealing:
Yay, they are gypsies and they steal, who would have guessed.
Let's face it, laws governing gypsies were - justified, mind you - very strict. Caught misbehaving once, evicted, twice, hanged.
Fantasy, being feudal, would not be kinder to halflings.

So... how come they're not kicked in the behind everywhere they go? How come anyone cares about their +2 charisma?

Halfling Powder Bombs.

They are not easy to make and quite expensive, but when a halfling is caught, he may use one to bedazzle and befuddle pursuers, and induce short-term memory loss, sufficient to wipe a minute.

Thus, halflings maintain a profile as charming traveling people, carefully keeping public relations. And all the missing stuff? Coincidence.

Or, more mundanely, they may have strike teams to wipe evidence.

c) Biology: halflings have 1/8 of the weight of a human, yet 1/4 of his surface. They will lose warmth quickly, and be often hungry. You can play this up. Go to Comment

That is where I took my starting point, yes, but the rulebooks give it one paragraph and move on. What I was trying to do was fill in what the rulebooks left out, to give some spice to the basic recipe, if you will.

Beyond that seed the idea, I thought that this was fairly polished. It gives, I believe, a fairly concise snapshot of halfling culture, at least enough for a player to know what is expected of a character. Further, it provides a framework on which I can hang any expanded explanations (which I do have planned).

I also thought, that if one does not like halflings, it wouldn't be that difficult to turn this into a human culture of nomads.

That's why I skipped the forum on this one. I will use it for others, so I wasn't completely ignoring your advice, I just thought this was a finished product. Go to Comment

Other than the quibble of where I got the idea, what else do you think of it? What could be stated more clearly, what areas could be expanded? (I do plan on extending their belief system and the waychanting). Go to Comment

I freely admit that this is nothing more than an expansion to the basic D&D setting, but I am writing, primarily, for a group that is playing D&D. However, we do not have the Races of X rulebooks, (indeed, I didn't even know of their existence). I am trying to come up with a setting that is internally consistent, and that possesses at least the appearance of life beyond the PCs. Since my players already know (or think they know) what to expect, I have to choose when to throw something truly innovative at them. The background of the halflings is not the place.

I started with the halflings in particular because I am fond of playing them, so I have come up with most of this stuff throughout campaigns where I was a player, and I am putting it all together for inclusion into the worldpack that I will be distributing to the players.

I can (and I suppose I should) go into more breadth/depth in certain areas, but I do not want to tax the willingness of my friends to read through too much writing. I would rather have something short, basic, and read than something that is long, detailed, and ultimately ignored.

I actually do have some plots to go along with the existence of the halflings. Would it help if I posted what I was planing on doing with them? Go to Comment

Update: (edited to include possible story points) Go to Comment

Update: changed status from "normal post" to "unfinished: advice requested"

Specifically, where should I go into greater detail? What other bits can I add (or at least, where should I add them, since I could probably come up with some myself) to make this more interesting, yet not so foreign my players can't grasp it without study? Go to Comment

You know, I actually considered having the wagons be carved into the shape of a ship, so that if the caravan came to a lake or whatnot, they did not have to go around, but could just keep on going. Adding sails, of course, to make up for the lack of ponies. I didn't realize it had been done.

I also played with the idea of having the wagons be bigger on the inside, but I have a lot of Doctor Who fans at the table, and I didn't want them making "TARDIS" comments all the time.

I like the portable town idea.

What if the wagons aren't pulled by anything, but have some sort of "animate object" spell placed upon the wheels or axels, allowing them to move freely?

I had originally wanted to keep the campaign sort of low(er) magic, but I guess I could just get silly with it.

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Wagon propulsion: wagon axels and wheels could be under an "animate object" spell, turning with of their own power, or, they could be pulled by clockwork or otherwise inorganic ponies (perhaps wooden pony amatures, carved and articulated, then animated with magic)

Canine affinity: what if their love of dogs stems from the fact that a percentage of halflings are natural animagi, that is, they can assume the shape of a dog at will

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