Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Siren no Orakio's comment on 2011-08-10 07:00 AM


Linguistic mechanics aside, I suggest clarifying powers of the blade, and their consequences and conditions of use.


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Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-08-17 10:47 AM
Hey there
two comments:

a) do not write in flight. Bide time in your work to polish it.
b) numerous other authors have English as their second, third etc language. If you need help, get it from either someone on your side of the net, or from a Strolenite. Again, invest effort, it will show in the quality of the piece. Go to Comment
Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Ted's comment on 2011-08-08 12:52 PM


First thing first. Organization and grammar. Your submission is difficult to read due to your formatting and grammar mistakes. I'd suggest breaking it up into smaller paragraphs, and carefully looking at how your sentences are composed.


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Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Ted's comment on 2011-08-10 09:11 PM
English is a very hard language. I'd suggest reading as much english writing as possible (strolen.com can help!)- it will help your own compositions. Go to Comment
Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
hylandpad's comment on 2011-09-09 08:00 PM
We all work hard on our subs, many of us taking days or weeks to get them just right. I'm sure you can too! A little extra effort, maybe letting it sit for a day or two while you think it over, can really help.

Like Echo said, don't write in flight, it results in quick, rushed work, that really will only get a bad reception.

And there are plenty of people who can help you with your language translation, all you need do is ask. Go to Comment
Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2011-08-08 05:38 PM


I concur with Infested Jerk. Print it out on a sheet of paper and read it aloud to yourself or better yet have a friend read it to you. 



This item does not seem cursed, typically a cursed item has some sort of detrimental effect on the wielder.



Is Damon Lord a person, or do you mean Deamon? 


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Executioner
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Cursed)
Slaya's comment on 2011-08-10 11:30 AM


i write this in "flight" when i have time, piece by piece . english is my second language , i think it will always be grammar mistakes ... 


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       By: Sentinel

The Rhenn Plains are serene and peaceful, beautiful, and quiet as if nothing had ever had happened to it, hiding away it's violent present and past. During some time ago, the countries needed land to fight on, for they did not want war to come to their home, so they chose the Rhenn Plains, Armies met there and men died on the lands, so the land has been empty always. But now there has been set an outpost and they are beset by the goverments wanting to keep it free, will the soldiers of the barracks prevail, or fall trying?

Encounter  ( Plains ) | September 3, 2004 | View | UpVote 1xp