Im not sure what does this for me. If there were not elecricity shooting, small cat sized insects that agressively feed on living flesh... then I may have talked into liking them. As it is though.... the feed portion is ok, the laying of larva is ok... the fact that they leave scars and wounds tend to get infected is even ok... Something about the direction this sub came from and went just did me wrong.
I don't have any issues with this being for a post aapocalyptic setting, on the contrary they seem more fitted to something a tad more modern and even sci-fi. Its just something in the way they were described, or lack of a lot of description perhaps, is what made me not take this and enjoy it. Go to Comment
They were designed more for a post apocalypse or space faring campaign actually, hence the runaway lawnmower reference in the description. (I almost added in a bit about shotguns and flamers being the preferred weapon of choice to counter these pests but figured that pigeon holed them a bit too much as far as high tech/low tech versatility)
I didn't go into a whole lot of description since they are for general appearances simply an enlarged common creature so a lengthy description would have been redundant.
I'm not sure if you could tame it as a pet since like most insects, as soon as it becomes hungry it immediately goes in search of food. Anyone attempting to tame one would therefore need to keep a readily available supply of food near by. (And once it pupated the food supply would then have to be living for the insect to show any interest.)
Although; I suppose in a post apocalypse setting a sufficiently vile and crazed person could raise one or more of the creatures by feeding it scraps of meat then after pupation allowing to to feed upon a slave, or even their own body when food was scarce. Go to Comment
Maybe he just does it for the same reason people boil puppies and eat kittens.
That said: The essential idea here is good. I like it. However, I feel that it needs a certain level of expansion - What is the fundamental reason he gets bored doing things the 'nice way'? What events caused him to become so psychopathic? What cracked him in the first place? Go to Comment
Where did his obsession with the dark arts come from? I'm pretty sure that unless he attented Miskatonic University (Go Fighting Cephalopods!) he didnt take Dark Arts 101 in college. I also agree with Siren and Val in their sanity related comments. Go to Comment
I agree with Siren. I have long since become a little weary of people being evil because they are insane, with no other reason given. Personally, I think it is scarier when people are evil for other reasons - when its not some random biochemical error which creates the monster.
Take a look at Ullhyr T'Lar-Yin. I think you might like this fellow. (Evil laughter here...)
Though I think this fellow is evil too due to madness. Oh well :) Go to Comment
Possible motive alteration: Instead of dark obsession and boredom, maybe the good doctor was frustrated at patients who consistently ignored his advice and stumbled onto his "unconvential approaches" in his desperation. This could add a new layer of condescension, contempt, and Why-Me-style self-pity to his personality -- after all, if his patients would just listen to him and do the sensible thing, he wouldn't need to control them, and it's such a burden on him...
And: "Also remember to smile a lot, since this makes them feel safer..." Except when it creeps them out, which he might not notice. Go to Comment
You said that she is an assassin. Does this mean that she accepts contracts from the wealthy to kill their foes? If not, I think vigilante might be a more accurate term to describe her. Just my two cents. Go to Comment
Rage, while certainly well written, as Val pointed out, has one thing that really rather bothers me. She is a rather one dimension assassin, raised with daggers in her hands and an absolute lack of value for life. Go to Comment
More she'll accept contracts from the poor to remove people who are taking advantage of them or causing them harm.
As far as respecting life, she respects the lives of the poor and downtrodden, just not those who seek to abuse the poor and downtrodden, or those so much better off that do nothing to help the poor. Go to Comment