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Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
EchoMirage's comment on 2008-05-16 07:33 AM
Mages who are wary of crowds learn Fireball :D

Anyway: the text seems to hurry, its melody stumbling in places.
Calling the Familiar 'Lover' was a great idea, having him just summoned not so much. A better tale could be behind the meeting of the two. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-05-15 12:30 PM
I like her. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2008-05-15 02:09 PM
We know you do :p Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2008-05-17 02:14 PM
This is a good NPC. As a note, you only really need comment on major changes that might change a vote, otherwise they get distracting :)

Well done! Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Misanpilgrim's comment on 2008-05-15 02:18 PM
This is good. This is very good. I like a good antisocial NPC, and this one a couple of good reasons to be antisocial, and her personality (blunt but kind) fits her backstory.

I also like the part about the familiar's name -- the way you've written it, it could be an quirk or an affectation, or it could be the plain truth (and Isis help whoever walks in on them). Solid support for GM flexibility is a good thing.

I've typed "good" and "like" enough times already, so I'll leave it there. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-17 05:31 PM
As far as I knew anytime you updated it forced you to make a comment explaining what the update was, thanks for clarifying it. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-01-12 06:53 PM
Update: Added an expanded/improved back-story behind the meeting of her familiar, and several plot hooks to introduce her to a prospective party of adventurers. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-14 11:42 PM
Updated: Formatting mangled some punctuation which I replaced. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-15 04:29 PM
Updated: Fixed a minor misspelling. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-16 12:03 AM
This was my first attempt at turning a pc into an npc. I did my best to keep certain parts of her nature open to interpretation to keep a gm's options open with possibilities.

I'm considering detailing the familiar in more depth as a separate sub, but not sure if it's worth it. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-01-12 06:55 PM
Thanks for the suggestion, I meant to get around to it years ago, the slight enhancement does make for a better background over all and less abrupt. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-01-15 03:39 AM
Aye, like most tragedies, they unravel quickly once events begin to unfold. In this case mostly because her mother used her as a convenient scape goat to avoid a lynching.

Good point about the scholar though, something less "luxurious" would work better in the storyline and be more believable. Go to Comment
Kisanth, Mage servant of Isis
NPCs  (Major)   (Mystical)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-01-15 03:42 AM
Update: In her backstory changed the scholar tutor to a more believable/realistic local temple scribe. Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-05-15 09:37 AM
This seems, well just odd. I opened the page expecting a medical establishment and instead I find cops, firefighters, droning history professors and a sex-changed athletics coach. Heartline EMS, or HLU seems more like a technical college than a University. That aside, police and firefighters have their own institutions for training and testing their applicants, and the drama dept seems rather out of place. Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-05-14 08:19 PM
Thank you for this subbmission-lol about the sex change rumors. Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
valadaar's comment on 2008-05-15 07:25 PM
I have to comment on the name myself. It has a comic-book feel and I think the name fits that genre! Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Misanpilgrim's comment on 2008-05-15 01:56 PM
What Scrasamax said -- some of the classes seem out of place in a medical school. (Nightstick training?)

Some of the characters are interesting, in a bit-part sort of way, but they seem inappropriate for the setting. (Again, the ex-SWAT nightstick trainers are the outstanding example.)

The sub seems contradictory at times (Dr. Miller is both infamous and respected, and Ms. Chambers is both slender and voluptuous). Other parts read as vague or opaque (but that might just be a difference in taste).

And then there's the librarian, Ms. Margaret Thatcher. She might speak slowly to compensate for speech impediments resulting from a minor stroke. She also probably only sleeps four hours a day -- the library might be open 24/7, but that doesn't mean that anyone's actually using it at 3 am. (I suggest Wikipedia for more biographical tidbits and a usable picture.)

I don't generally have a problem with this sort of "borrowing." In another, more light-hearted context, I don't even mind if the borrowing is bold and undisguised. In a horror or mystery game, though, I suspect that the mood might suffer. (Also, the players might spend an annoyingly large amount of game time searching for Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev.)

On the silver-lining side, a Google search of the other characters led me to ian-miller.org, which has an art portfolio. Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-15 03:27 PM
It;s a more admittedly light hearted take on a college campus, and not meant to be hard cold and factual. The type of horror rpg this is meant for is more of the b-grade tongue in cheek horror/mystery opposed to the COTC insane mind ripping terror.

Interesting notes on the npc's names, I picked them at random and was surprised to learn Ian Miller had an art portfolio. Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Silveressa's comment on 2008-05-15 04:10 PM
Thanks for the ideas, and suggestions on a new name? Go to Comment
Heartline EMS University
Locations  (Establishment)   (Other)
Aramax's comment on 2008-05-15 03:33 PM
This will plug into any Supers,modern,Horror or Sci Fi setting.It seems especially useful for Supers w/ a horror bent.This really is my idea of a useable sub.Not too wordy,good hooks,Practical and useful for a variety of settings. I should give this a 4/5 but I think Im giving it a 4.5/5 due to the wide variety of games this could be used in.
some suggestions to make it PERFECT:
1)Lose the name-hate it.
2)description of campus
3)some students and a little student life
I think there is a whole campaign in this. Go to Comment
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