Well written. I can't help but agree with the others. Good job on bringing out the race, and putting your own spin on it. A definite contender for the Quest title! Loved the Kumbra and this is a great example of one.
I agree with Echo in saying that you brought across the nature of the Kumbra well. I noticed a few points where you mixed your pronouns, at one point referring to Shek-Ta as "her, at another as "it". You also made a grammatical mistake, the possessive it "its", "it's" means "it is". A nice well rounded sub,Silv. Go to Comment
This is a solid mini-adventure! Though I am expecting to see the mystery machine make an appearance :)
That said - you have a few missing capitalizations at the start of sentances, and a few spacing issues. There is also still a bit of overlong sentances. Read them aloud to yourself, and if you find yourself running out of breath, rebuild your sentences. Go to Comment