#38: When the apparent focus of an adventure is on some routine or otherwise dull task that must be completed, bring along your armor and most powerful weapons, chances are it will be anything but "routine."
#39: Convincing the visiting alien ambassador a latex condom is actually bubble gum will get plenty of laughs from your friends, but not the Admiral or interplanetary space commission when the fun loving ambassador demonstrates his "bubble blowing" skill at the evening banquet.
Go to Comment
#40: Borrowing money from one loanshark to repay another one never ends well, especially when the process is repeated a dozen or so times while you try to come up with the original sum. (What began as a mere $10,000 to repair some damaged cyberware grew to well over 100k in short order due to "interest" and "late fees" from each new loan.)
#41: Pretending to join the evil super villians crime syndicate only to tear it apart from the inside only works rarely, and usually will not be successful if you have a current reputation as a "paragon of virtute and justice."
#42: Committing numerous villinaous acts to remove said virtous reputation so you can temporarily join the evil villians organization will likely result in a permanant career (and alignment) change.
#43: When the Gm goes out of their way to describe a sale on heavy weapons, rare monster slaying components, or equally unusual equipment it's best to take advantage of the discount before proceeding with the next adventure.
#44: When a newly encountered alien species asks to speak to your peoples leader, claiming to coincidentally be just that person never ends well.
#45: Jedi mind tricks may get you a free night in the brothel, (or with that pretty twilek dancer at the bar) but will do nothing to prevent or cure the alien STD's you were exposed to.
Go to Comment
#46: Or remove suspicion of the jedi council you're the father of said twilek dancers children a few months down the road.
-Picking on angry Shaolin monks for "wearing girly dresses and being a bunch of Buddha belly rubbing pansies," in a modern day horror campaign is a great way to spice up an otherwise sedate investigation scene.
-Doing the former is also a great way to educate yourself on the games multiple combat/and first aid rules in the same scene.
-Key scratching a senator/congressman's car may be a inventive/covert way to make a political statement and "sticking it to the man," but is usually best done when they are not currently inside of it.
Giving a prospective employer a link to Goatse as your Mercanary teams website homepage as a practical joke will usually not get you that hazard pay bonus you were haggling for.
Skunks make great familiars for wizards, not so much for those impersonating them.
-Attempting to use rabid porcupines as catapult fodder, nuff said.
-Swallowing 27 condoms full of stolen gold dust (in an attempt to to avoid giving your team mates an equal cut of the profits after your mercenary op in Africa,) will result in severe internal injury and death when the private plane you are flying on encounters a rough patch of turbulence and the 7+ lbs of metal begin bouncing around your abdominal cavity.Go to Comment
#27 There are days when the dice hate the PCs. I just love it when low level weenie monsters slaughter my high level character. Or vice versa being accused of being a killer DM and/or having to save the party from an encounter which should have been a cake walk (yep, the kobold just rolled another natural 20).
#28 Trying to rob someone the DM doesn't want you to will result in certain imprisonment or death.
#29 When descibing unique methods of killing an immortal demi-god like villian NPC in most public places will result in awkward glances, people quickly shuffling away from you, and a strange willingness of bystanders to wait for another elevator (or worse another escalator)
#30 Avoiding the adventure that the DM prepared for will result in some pretty strange twists of fate in which you end up on said adventure anyway.
#35 If an entire town is out looking to lynch a suspected murderer... even if you believe he's innocent, when you find him it is best not to go running after him, shouting his name while holding aloft a picture he painted of the victim. He is not likely to believe you have good intentions and might respond poorly.
Kult, one of the few games where you use a 20 sided dice and it is not a d20system. Kult is also one of those games where I as a GM go the extra mile in graphic and mature content as opposed to CoC. So, over to your submission, I am not a major fan of first-person narratives but this is some fine writing. I became intrigued and wanted to know more about your character and that is a job well done in my book. The fiction section is becoming a place worthy of the citadel. Well done Sil.
Actually, we had a 30 with this theme....
Only, it got to 101.
What about simply adding these to that list? (Also, some of these are duplicate of problems on Scras' list).
Minor issue: legionnaire's disease is caused by a bacterium, not fungus.