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Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-02-07 01:06 AM
And thus the Nematodicon was written, compiled from the writings and recorded sessions of (redacted) during their detention at (redacted) medical center. Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Murometz's comment on 2015-02-07 10:06 AM


Wow, fancy writing!! The opening grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. Going to read this again with floyd's waiting for the worms softly playing in the background

Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-02-06 06:59 AM


After a single read through I think this is an exceptional submission, and I am so very grateful you put it up here. I think this is the right length and style (first person, creepy) for one of those on-line flash fiction contests that several of the paying on-line fiction markets run. The prose is so strong in this and the descriptions so completely awful (in the way I am sure they were intended) that I don't have enough praise for the writing except to say "Boil into shot glass" maybe me a little ill.



One thought: The timing between the second and third paragraph seems a little off. Consider



I struggled feebly through out the night, working them off, scoring deep abrasions on the back of my hands, my heels. At dawn, I managed to come to my feet, my knees as solid as gelatin.



Then end paragraph and go into the description of the worms into the walls.



I am impressed, and entertained and again thanks

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Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-02-07 10:33 AM
Nematodicon....goddamn it, now I am going to embarrass myself trying to work that into conversation. Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
valadaar's comment on 2015-02-13 11:44 AM
Neat stuff here - excellent, creepy fiction! Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Aramax's comment on 2015-03-02 05:48 PM
Nothing to add but another 5/5! Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
MysticMoon's comment on 2015-02-12 09:56 AM
Nothing to add that others haven't already covered. 5/5 Go to Comment
Infestation
Articles  (Fiction)   (Gaming - In General)
Lady Wolf's comment on 2015-02-11 09:18 PM
Creepy and disturbing, it would make for a great great story for around the campfire. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Scrasamax's comment on 2015-02-01 11:11 AM
Well written, and solid character. I would be fine with using her plug-n-play in just about any modern or futuristic game. I like the OCD aspect, which would be the main place where I would make things fun if she was being used as a pregen, or the players would be exploiting.

The PCs discover that none of the marks were killed in the squalor of the streets, or in loud chaotic places. They were all killed in safe houses, in transit vehicles, under police custody, and otherwise meticulously cared for. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Murometz's comment on 2015-02-02 12:19 PM
Can't think of what to add. Nice characterization here. Well done! Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-02-01 09:02 AM
Another wickedly cultured femme fatale, the write up is clear, concise and give you clear idea of everything about her except what is it like to talk with her or her personal history (which I think in this case is not important).

I can imagine her OCD and desire for finer things extending to social situations as well. A gruff flippant ironicly dressed punk rocker heckling the models on the run way at a fashion show may really get under her skin.

I think if I were using her in a story or as GM she would be very accessible to the players, she does not offer us a lot of surprises, which is often handy for secondary characters. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
axlerowes's comment on 2015-02-01 09:02 AM
Another wickedly cultured femme fatale, the write up is clear, concise and give you clear idea of everything about her except what is it like to talk with her or her personal history (which I think in this case is not important).

I can imagine her OCD and desire for finer things extending to social situations as well. A gruff flippant ironicly dressed punk rocker heckling the models on the run way at a fashion show may really get under her skin.

I think if I were using her in a story or as GM she would be very accessible to the players, she does not offer us a lot of surprises, which is often handy for secondary characters. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Silveressa's comment on 2015-02-01 09:25 AM
Update: Updated with her choice of weapons and method of assassination. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 08:48 AM
Nice addition of a modern/sci fi assassin in a field of fantasy ones,just a hint more of setting and possibly weapons(something exotic would be a nice touch) would be in order, This is tuff to do when you are working with only 500 words , I vote on two things primarily, usefulness and secondly artistry , This one gets good grades on usefulnes but very high marks on artistry, Of all the assassins submitted so far, this one is the one I can most see in my minds eye. 4/5 Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 09:05 AM
Improvised Weapons! THAT totally needs to go in the body Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 09:26 AM
up voted Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Aramax's comment on 2015-02-01 11:18 AM
That tiny change made a huge difference in how I view this sub The 4.5/5 now is for a total package not just the great style you've got going here. The improvised weapon thing just makes this truly outstanding.Right now you have got my vote for winning entry . Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Moonlake's comment on 2015-02-01 05:53 PM
For me (if I had to vote on the winner for the 500 word assassin challenge), I would pick either this or Dozus' sub. I liked Dozus' sub because of the background of double worship whereas this is definitely more character centred. Good work. Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
MysticMoon's comment on 2015-02-02 12:06 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Freya, Assassin
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Lady Wolf's comment on 2015-02-01 09:02 AM
Truth be told assassins aren't really my gig, but this one was originally a coffee stained NPC print out from my old Gm binder, I thought she would work well for the 500 word sub and manged to coerce Silvy into helping make it so. (Never you mind how! :P)

Her original assassin tools were improvised weapons from her surroundings she would use to make a kill up close and from an unexpected angle/way. Unfortunately the 500 word limit axed the assassination of a CEO with a soup spoon vignette and more of her background of why she became an assassin.

Fun challenge tho, looking forward to the next one! Go to Comment
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