The king only wished to see that later on, he would be on the throne - If he saw that in 5 minutes time, something was going to attack him, he could leave, or make countermeasures. This item tells what the future will be in 5 minutes if one had no foresight. And though 5 minutes may seem little, if you knew, for example, taht in 5 minutes time, a hacker was going to use a loophole you know about in your site to destroy it, you would work to close that loophole, wouldnt you? Such a small amount of time means that if acted quickly, the result could be changed. Also, if it were much further ahead of time, the item would be starting to get a bit too powerful, in my opinion. Wheres the fun if you know everything thats going to happen to you in 30 minutes time? You can stop everything from happening at leisure!
5 minutes gives a frantic quality to the item - the king thought that he was going to die in 5 minutes, so he paniced. causing a heart attack, or what-not.
On the topic of the dragon - You must remember the item shows you also what you WANT to see, not what will happen, so, though it may not show you standing atop the corpse of a dragon, it might show you stabbing a sword into a dragon, or winning the fight. Something to boost foolish confidences.
Erm, 20 minutes staring into it isnt what I meant to say, sorry ^_^ I mean, after 20 minutes in total.
This item is not supposed to be a campaign starter, nor any major, RPG revolving item, but just a bit of a curse that can be thrown onto unsuspecting PCs, who find a 'beautiful mirror which shows them doing things they were planning on doing, anyway'.
This is a mirror that is designed to break down the arrogant optimist, who thinks that every bauble is a treasure, and thinks that things are what they seem. Its designed to be a tweak in the RP.
"But I think the king would have taken this TRUE seer and made him make something a little more useful."
In response to this, I want to stress that I find Time travel and future-sense as extremely powerful, not something that any two-bit mage can do. In my mind, 5 minutes into the future IS a HUGE accomplishment (I mean, can YOU do it? :P). If time travel were something even great powerful mages could perform, wouldnt there be many incidences of it?
(I also like the idea of having a small party sitting around, when suddenly a slit in reality appears, and a hand slides through, grabs a shard of glass sitting on the table, then slips back through the slit, which promptly seals up again. The group would be stunned ^_^)
Well, I hope thats explained a thing or two for you, Strolen :) Though the item itself may not be to your taste, anyway, and thats no problem. To each their own.
To conclude, I'd like to stress that this is NOT a device which is supposed to be looking into the future, and nothing more. Its something which is supposed to decieve people.
Though I defer to the Expert in his judgement of your myth, I thoroughly enjoyed it! As for the item itself, I think it is brilliantly original. I love the idea of using it in an adventure: presumably the painter would have to carry an easel around too, which might be a little inconvenient during combat (unless it was surreptitiously fitted with blades!).
It has color. I mean, colour. I mean, ehhh... doesn't matter, it is an excellent creation. Deserves an A.
As my evil mind starts to wander, what happens to all those high-quality paintings that undoubtly would stay after any average party of adventurers? Some would they keep, some might be sold, or simply thrown away, once there are too many. Could these portraits be not used to some dark purpose? They already had impact on someones life force...
So if people healed by it before start to get ill, or even die unnaturally... could it be a curse, or someone that hates this fine item wants it to look so? Go to Comment
Basic Item Theory: A. Good item. I like it. This category is not part of the myth grade.
Mythical Language: A. Good use of sentence inversion and strategic Old English. The progression of sentences needs work (see the way mythic sentences progress in Boots Too Fine for the Earth)
Myth in General: A-. A little short, but good nonetheless. The item is mythically magical; that is, it was not created by some petty mage. In this case, it was just so excellent that it was magical. That's a good touch.
Myth Length/Myth Progression: B+. Just a little short. Maybe you could have provided more examples of the healing power of Colourshade's works, and not just that one old woman. The way that you provided one example and then left the rest of it to "And so, throughout his life, people came to Colourshade for peace of mind", which makes the myth feel like it has been cut short, somehow.
Overall Item Grade - 4/5.
Overall Myth Grade - A-. Good work. Let's see the rest of you do some myths, yeah? Go to Comment
Perhaps a cruel twist is this: The painter uses inferior quality paints, and after several years the paintings begin to fade and peel away. The one healed by it may find old injuries, which had been healed by the painting, return.
Good quality oil paints will ensure a longevity far surpassing the persons lifetime, though the ones healed wont live longer. Go to Comment
A couple things: I am aware that you (silly) Americans/foreigners may spell colour as color, as well as several other words differently, but the Australian way, is 'Colour', so don't berate me for spelling it wrong :) I stick by my nationality.
This is my first hand at Mythical-writing, and I won't be satisfied until Captainpenguin grades me. Go to Comment
On that note, what if there was a twin to the painting set spoken of here? Perhaps someone of evil intent made it, or still better: someone of good intent finds it and tries to make another, but fails, twisting it to a point where it does more damage. This could produce a very good storyline at the end of which both painting utensils are present, and look exactly alike. better still, a friend is dieing, and if you pick the wrong one, you will kill them. just some ideas that this gave me. Go to Comment
A fine healing item, wonderfully rendered and perfect for use. One could make the inks require special ingredients for their manufacture, and so employment and riches could be obained in their aquisition. Go to Comment
Can you paint an old person young again? Overall, this is an interesting item with a well-written background story (I enjoyed the "voice" of this piece, very much). I do think its powers are a little ambiguous, however, and could use some more fleshing out. Go to Comment
I agree that the concept and rendering of this myth are good, particularly the idea. If you have not done so, read Portrait of Dorian Gray. I would love to see more fleshing out of the items. Why should they have any power? Wasn't it established that it was the artist? Did the artist somehow merge into the tools upon his death? Did he pour himself into his work for so long that he didn't die so much as he was carried into the items?
Mechanically (were talking capitalization, usage, punctuation, and spelling) you drive me nuts. But then again, I teach English (and several other subjects); my starting sanity is justifiably questionable.
I like the concept as a bardic power or something only a unique person might bring about. Go to Comment