Basic Item Theory: A. Good item. I like it. This category is not part of the myth grade.
Mythical Language: A. Good use of sentence inversion and strategic Old English. The progression of sentences needs work (see the way mythic sentences progress in Boots Too Fine for the Earth)
Myth in General: A-. A little short, but good nonetheless. The item is mythically magical; that is, it was not created by some petty mage. In this case, it was just so excellent that it was magical. That's a good touch.
Myth Length/Myth Progression: B+. Just a little short. Maybe you could have provided more examples of the healing power of Colourshade's works, and not just that one old woman. The way that you provided one example and then left the rest of it to "And so, throughout his life, people came to Colourshade for peace of mind", which makes the myth feel like it has been cut short, somehow.
Overall Item Grade - 4/5.
Overall Myth Grade - A-. Good work. Let's see the rest of you do some myths, yeah? Go to Comment
Perhaps a cruel twist is this: The painter uses inferior quality paints, and after several years the paintings begin to fade and peel away. The one healed by it may find old injuries, which had been healed by the painting, return.
Good quality oil paints will ensure a longevity far surpassing the persons lifetime, though the ones healed wont live longer. Go to Comment
A couple things: I am aware that you (silly) Americans/foreigners may spell colour as color, as well as several other words differently, but the Australian way, is 'Colour', so don't berate me for spelling it wrong :) I stick by my nationality.
This is my first hand at Mythical-writing, and I won't be satisfied until Captainpenguin grades me. Go to Comment
On that note, what if there was a twin to the painting set spoken of here? Perhaps someone of evil intent made it, or still better: someone of good intent finds it and tries to make another, but fails, twisting it to a point where it does more damage. This could produce a very good storyline at the end of which both painting utensils are present, and look exactly alike. better still, a friend is dieing, and if you pick the wrong one, you will kill them. just some ideas that this gave me. Go to Comment
A fine healing item, wonderfully rendered and perfect for use. One could make the inks require special ingredients for their manufacture, and so employment and riches could be obained in their aquisition. Go to Comment
Can you paint an old person young again? Overall, this is an interesting item with a well-written background story (I enjoyed the "voice" of this piece, very much). I do think its powers are a little ambiguous, however, and could use some more fleshing out. Go to Comment
I agree that the concept and rendering of this myth are good, particularly the idea. If you have not done so, read Portrait of Dorian Gray. I would love to see more fleshing out of the items. Why should they have any power? Wasn't it established that it was the artist? Did the artist somehow merge into the tools upon his death? Did he pour himself into his work for so long that he didn't die so much as he was carried into the items?
Mechanically (were talking capitalization, usage, punctuation, and spelling) you drive me nuts. But then again, I teach English (and several other subjects); my starting sanity is justifiably questionable.
I like the concept as a bardic power or something only a unique person might bring about. Go to Comment
One thing I'd point out is that if Red Mui'aan is a fungus, it is NOT a carnivorous plant, it is a fungus. All fungus are carnivorous, or at least heterotrophic, unlike plants, which create their own food, so it is a double fallacy to call Red Mui'aan a "carnivorous plant". Go to Comment
I took the liberty of making a background/description of the Mui'aan fungus, as I thought I should try to make a bit of an explanation for the bloodlust created by the metal. Feel free to make suggestions/alterations/inclusions. I hope this is how you envisioned your metal, Silas. Go to Comment
Here is another thought on what could happen With Imuricum crafted items, plus an addition to this item:
Dormant items - These items are crafted using Imuricum for the superior quality the element gives, but they are are not drenched in any blood.
And example of what could happen because of this?
An Imuricum breastplate could be worn for months, but then during one particularly bloody battle, the blood of a goblin is splattered all over it. Some days/weeks later (the heat was the catalyst of the blood soaking into forged Imuricum items), the owner of the breastplate may feel the urge to hunt goblins again... Go to Comment