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Demonic Pipe Organ
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Puzzles)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-09-11 11:19 AM
*snigger* Organ... Ehrm. :P Maybe a Dice table would be useful for this, 1 to summon the imps, 2 for hellish flames etc. I happen to own a synthisizer, so that's another interesting option, labeling some keys and go to town. It would have to wait till a later portion of the campaign though, as the Infernal realm is no walk in the park, especially with no apparent way back. Good one.

Oh and Strolen fixed the editor, so you should be able to clean it up now, if you want. Go to Comment
Demonic Pipe Organ
Dungeons  (Underground)   (Puzzles)
Darkstand's comment on 2013-09-10 07:53 PM
I like it. Magical demonic organ, corrupting the ideal of the angelic organ of the church. Perhaps carved from a REAL demons skull? The pipes from its bones?
For kinder DM's, you could make a gate instead of instant transport (but still no way back). This allows for only some of the people present to go, without raising the issue that the unwary group might think the person who triggered it died. Speaking of which, that made the intro kinda gruesome.... nice job. Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Siren no Orakio's comment on 2013-09-06 10:37 PM
Welp, I had fun reading it. I'm a little biased, though. I still like Celsia, even after all these years. Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-09-05 02:19 AM
It appears I am having issues with spacing and paragraphs when I write up submissions directly in the editor; apologies if this makes it a more difficult read! Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-09-06 06:15 PM
Fair call, Gossamer. I get caught up in expanding the story and then it just grows too much. I think I will try and set myself a limit for some future subs. Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-09-06 02:27 PM
This needs to be made into an anime movie. Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-09-10 10:40 AM
Oooh, this is wonderfully theatrical. Very well done and I second Scras's comments.

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Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-09-23 08:44 AM
An interesting direction for Celsia to take. I think it helped for me to read the original sub before starting on this one. This is an enjoyable read. I like where you're going with Lazarus and his crew. Go to Comment
Hell Knight: The Tragedy of Celsia Rimeheart.
NPCs  (Major)   (Combative)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-09-06 05:57 AM
I see you still haven't mastered the art of keeping things short. :P Honestly, I felt this dragged on for longer than needed. Does an Npc really need all this backstory, not like we could read all of this up to our PCs. I dunno, I don't usually make Npcs since I fear I would end up making too short subs, but this went the other way. I suppose parts of her personality and motives could be glimpsed here and there, but a few paragraphs would have worked just as well. And why go through all of these changes, first she turns into some kind of snow fairy, then she becomes possessed and then she becomes a hell-knight. The actual person gets lost in her powers, she might as well have just been a monster rather than a human. I'll give an extra .5 simply because of the work having gone into it though. Go to Comment
The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-08-25 05:59 PM
All valid points from everyone!
I didnt expand the sub because I didnt want too ramble on too much, but in hindsight, more info on the demons and some interesting locations within Retribution would have been handy.

Mourn, your extra choice of survival is great and i dont know why i didnt consider it! Also, you are absolutely right about it being cliche and predictable. This isn't made to be innovative and boundary pushing, simply a fun encounter where you get to play the part of a space horror victim; it should only last a day and be used when you want something quick and easy to throw at your gamers.

The inconsistencies are from copying over a draft then tweaking some bits and pieces. Oops :D

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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-08-25 07:02 AM
I like the way the sub is structured, and how what faction you decide to ally with can influence the end objective of the mission. The entire sub feels like a good space horror movie, one that I would like to see.

Gossamer's comment has some truth to it, the inclusion of the Doom references and demons, I would liked to have seen more done with them, maybe a paragraph or two about the demons beyond the reanimated corpses. Maybe the Hell Knight isn't just a smashy kill monster, but a sentient hellish being that in addition to murder, rape and destruction is a competent pilot and spacer.

Also: Doom is an established source for the Cosmic Era, specifically the early computer games. The appearance of random demons and monsters corresponds with the storm breach/rift phenomenon and the UAC would really really like to have this sort of device. Go to Comment
The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Scrasamax's comment on 2013-08-31 08:26 AM
Written to support this submission

Cosmic Era: Doom Bestiary

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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2013-08-25 09:33 AM
I usually do not enjoy Sci-Fi space faring material as I am a Fantasy Bound junkie. Some of this was just entirely to far predicable; Go into stasis sleep and get woken up early because of an issue (attack, random comet, etc), seen this is way to many movies, TV shows and books. However I understand that simple makes it work and it does. (My gamers would be well aware of what is to come.) 

This just seems like a one shot night of Horrific dark corridors with either demonic creatures jumping out from behind dark corners, or pirates, or crew members. Itchy trigger fingers should be in place for possible friendly fire to make the players more antsy and nervous about what lies ahead around the next turn. 

I would add an additional choice than have given, as some of my players are selfish enough think about it. Add in the option to take the pirate vessel to safety. Whether it is to just escape the nightmare on the ship and save their own hides, or forcing the Retribution into a crash course into Saturn or one of its' moons. The flip side to that would be that the ship, if crashed into Saturn itself (seeing as it has no official solid surface) the continual lightning thick atmosphere could put the ship into an inner atmospheric orbit thereby keeping the ship aloft with the portal being supplied with as much energy as needed to keep it open. If landed on a moon then the residual energy brought about by a huge lightning surge should be enough to power the portal for quite a while allowing the demonic beings to swarm into the crashed ship and begin amassing a source of leadership and organization.

With this change of events the now safe and free players on the pirate ship can go about their way either reporting to their employers of the failed mission or taking the ship to their own devices.

However, now the threat of an invading force of demonic forces is sitting on the distant horizon and should be allowed to be forgotten and brought up at a later date. 

I noticed some inconsistencies, such as being midway through the flight the crew is woken up from stasis but when checked they are almost at their destination.
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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2013-08-27 07:53 PM
I personally do not like scripted plots once PC's are on the scenes, so I'd have the PCs awakened by a panicked crewmember. For some reason, perhaps they were overlooked in the confusion, the PC's come on the scene just before the discovery of the demons - the power outage threw them out of sleep, hard, and they emerge disoriented.

From that point on, they can influence the continued unfolding of events.

In any case, this is only my take on it above what has been said about the demons. I'd have at least filed the names off em :)



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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
valadaar's comment on 2013-08-27 07:54 PM
Kudos on an excellent and well-made plot!

I personally do not like scripted plots once PC's are on the scenes, so I'd have the PCs awakened by a panicked crewmember slightly before the demons are discovered - perhaps they were overlooked in the confusion. they come out with all hell breaking lose.

From that point on, they can influence the continued unfolding of events.

In any case, this is only my take on it above what has been said about the demons. I'd have at least filed the names off em :)



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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-08-25 07:33 PM

I know I'm risking my geek cred here, but I've never actually played Doom. I can kind of guess that the demons look like demons, but beyond that the names mean very little to me. A little more detail on that front would have been beneficial for me.


While I like the factions idea, there's too much danger of the players getting bored before the action takes place. It feels like there could be a whole nother dimension (har har) to this. Not saying I know what that could be, just that I think there should :P


(Having said all that, I wish I'd been able to see this movie instead of the ghastly failure that was Event Horizon.)


There are some really cool pieces in this, such as the lightning charging the device.


I love the idea of taking the pirate attack up a notch by throwing in the demons. If done right, you could make the pirates just this side of too tough for the PCs. And once they think they can get a hand on the situation, Bam! Throw some nasty demons their way and make them really sweat it out.


The various scenarios are good, although as Mourn pointed out you can only second guess your players so much. Players can sometimes be really good at coming up with something completely random that borks up your plans.

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The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-08-25 06:18 AM
I really liked the differing factions and many options. The bad parts were the old artifact macguffin plot and the use of doom demons, even though the latter didn't really affect things much. Somewhat predictable and mainstream, could have used a twist.

But, that being said, it was very well written and structured, enough so to warrant a high score.
Here are some thoughts;

Since there's only two scientists, it seems overly easy to befriend that faction as opposed to the other ones.

Since that scanner door only required DNA from the pirate captain, they could still kill him and bring a chopped off hand or something, right?

It would seem like the millitary's goals would be fulfilled with the scientist's quest as well, only in a slightly more dangerous and complex way, would it be possible to get them all on the same page, or are the factions so opposed to eachother that they won't help eachother out?

If you want something besides just a non-descript artefact, how bout taking the plot from Event Horizon, and saying that the science vessel has an experimental slip stream mode of travel, which just incidentally, takes a shortcut across hell. Go to Comment
The Flight of Retribution
Plots  (Hired)   (Single-Storyline)
Darkstand's comment on 2013-08-26 09:56 PM
A good idea, and has a lot of roleplay potential for a sci-fi campaign. Sci-Fi is not my usual, but I can still admire a job well done. The explicit Doom references distracted me (a little) however, it would have been better to leave them implied or mention it once at first then not again. 

The Good: A highly adaptable open ended plotline full off choices and consequences, interesting NPC's and fun tech to play with. If this entry is short, its cause its fairly well rounded. 

The Bad: Explicit Doom references (this is forgivable). Also, in the 'Artifact Recovery' choice, in that position I (as a PC) would be inclined to possibly fight my way to the artifact and try to disable it from there, using the enemy EMP would not be my first thought. A good DM can improvise on the spot, but its a hole in the options provided. Not a glaring one though. 

 I really wanted to like the references, but in the end I had to admit it distracted, and pointing them out was unnecessary to the submission. Still, good job plotting out a lot of the ways it could go.


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Sila'Khrysath - The Great Sand Wyrm.
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Desert)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-08-20 11:57 PM
Update: Attempted to space out paragraphs a bit better. Doesn't seem to be working too well! Ah well. Go to Comment
Sila'Khrysath - The Great Sand Wyrm.
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Desert)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-08-21 08:20 PM
Thanks, Caesar!

The Karikun desert is quite large, however the dragons are also extremely rare. I would think only a half dozen would be active at any given time within the desert.

Being elemental, they do not require food to survive. They are unpredictable, occasionally attacking other living things, and sometimes leaving them be.

Merchants, and indeed most travellers in the desert have nothing to fear; they are extremely rare, and largely regarded as legend. They are far more likely to be accosted by the other vicious creatures of the desert than a Great Sand Wyrm. There will always be superstitious travellers who dread the desert for fear of these horrific devil-dragons!

The dragons will slumber - usually digging under the sand itself to do so. Occasionally they will lair in caves and such, but they have little need for shelter from the desert - they ARE the desert!

They do not hoard treasure, no.
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