I like it. Simple but with a lot of uses. Now, don't bite my head off. But I have a few things to say about grammar(even though it doesn't affect your score);
Terrified, the young man turned to run, but as more of those tendrils lashed themselves onto his body (I think you meant latched here).
During the daytime, it's powers are largely dampened and it's Shadow-Servant melts away
•While travelling the swamps in the daytime, one of the PC's
•The PC's have been asked to the Princes name-day celebration
As for all of these, think about "it's" as an abbreviation of "it is". So anywhere it is doesn't fit, use its instead. As for anything else, the apostrophe is used to indicate ownership. With that last sentence, the apostrophe in the PC's should be moved to the Princes instead. The Prince "owns" the name-day celebration, it is his celebration, but the PCs don't own have been asked. This is also true when used in names, e.g. Bob's car. It also holds true with names ending with an s, such as Dennis's car. Hope you take this as it is intended, in a friendly manner. Go to Comment
Alright, I wasn't aware of whether or not you knew, since you had repeated the mistake throughout and in another sub as well. I meant no disrespect. But honestly, people who choose to be offended, those are people I probably would have fallen out with sooner or later anyways. I've allready ranted about this in the chatbox, so I won't repeat it here. I'm generally pretty laid back, but when it comes to submissions, I feel like it is a good idea to try and help eachother out. Because some of the people on here, might become writers one day, and if they've got it down before they start on that novel, it will be so much easier for them. Of course not everyone on here wants to become writers, and if they disapprove, I will back off. But I'll tell you one thing, I hold myself to as high a standard as I do everyone else, and I'm not even a native English speaker. Go to Comment
i already have a few thoughts about expanding this, Moon :) Perhaps in the coming week or two i'll beef it up.
I just wanted to get something out because I feel like I haven't managed to put anything up in too long! the 100-challenge is a good way to do that! Go to Comment
Quite flavorful, and I would also like to see the expansion. Just wondering aloud, but wouldn't iron be more appropriate as opposed to "worked" steel? Anyhoo, these critters capture the imagination! Go to Comment
Ah, good to hear your plans for this sub. Personally, I always use the 100 word format for "abandoned ideas" or sth that came to me on-the-fly and didn't fit into the more serious stream of pieces that I write. But I know what you mean by getting sth out first. Go to Comment
Fantastic seed idea! I really want to see more about these guys. They remind me of the Silverfish you find in Minecraft -- terrifying little creatures that live in stone and swarm out in packs once you break the rock open. I can imagine a party of adventurers, desperate to escape an underground cave system, being entirely too unwary of where they try to dig their way out . . . Go to Comment