The term Yuatja is that something you made up or is that from some other source material?
I am of several minds about how to comment on this one.
First thought is whether to critique comment or vote at all. If one comments on something and the recipients gets upset then there is no point. This website is all about personal enjoyment and if you strip them of that than you shouldn’t be here. People often say critiquing is okay and necessary as long as done nicely. But isn’t it nicer not to critique at all and just offer blanket praise? Light hearted criticism is often worse cause people might take it personally. This particular case is rough because it is always rough to make negative comments about the big guys on the website. In the internet world those guys have the power to be bullys and push you around or keep you from participating. Indeed the first time I ever offered Scras and Muro serious criticism I was so worried about doing it I sent it to them as a PM. They were cool about though and I later posted and voted. Critiquing and voting is the game of the citadel. But if push comes to shove if somebody asked me to give them a higher vote, or change my comment I would and I have.
Additionally, in the case of Scras, he always makes a point to say that he writes most of this for himself out of some compulsion. I get that. If there are four winds of the citadel than self-indulgent post has to be one of them. If somebody is posting just for them then maybe should you get off their lawn? But if one posts it up here and not in the forums than it must be because one wanted that piece to be evaluated.
Finally, I am also worried that on this website that I am the guy playing too hard. I am that guy playing full court D in pick up basketball, stealing bases in softball or blocking on the run in flag football. It is always a debate whether to try and be brief and light-hearted, but that can be ambiguous. And perhaps Scras and the cosmic era are special and deserve more attention.
One of the risks I have seen when you write for the cosmic era is that you spit out banal regurgitations of the inspirational material. In this particular post you simply describe the items from Predator movie. You mention a few things about the cosmic era (it could drive you insane or what have you) but you don’t integrate it. You already have arcano tech as a concept that give you carte blanche for most sci-fi stuff. Above, just like in your recent Cosmic Era Avenger’s post, all you do is describe the characters from the movies with new techno babble rationales for their powers and abilities (though I did think /Hulk, equipment: pants/ was funny). Contrast this to what you have done with G.I. Joe. You have taken the material and visual minutia of the Cobra faction from tv show and turned into a subversive and sympathetic terrorist group in the cosmic era. None of the story points are the same, but just a few details are kept, the window dressing is kept. I make have the logo of Cobra but it is really Amerika Command. It is a truly re-imagining. You failed to do that with the Predator tech stuff and the Avengers and thus you waste our time and yours. People like to read articles about stuff they already know, it makes them feel connected and comfortable. It sometimes fun to see lists of your favorite movie villains or the coolest movie guns. Your stuff on the Avengers and the Predator tech is fun in that regard, but not as cosmic era a post. I feel this whole discussion, your brain storming of with regard to how to integrate the tech, would be better suited for the forums.Go to Comment
This is very good, you should be getting paid for this. I love the teaser text, drew me right in. A few things though;
1) Spell Check etc
"more fluff here" (remnant or reminder?)
"experience life through observation. It was initially thought that the machine mines would use the electronic systems of the structures"
"The machine has decided to make them it's next target, but rather than showing itself, it sends more proxies against them"
"At first everyone was pleased, the autistic and the non-functional members of society were able to become healthy and useful members again."
If this was written from a machine's point of view, then alright I guess. But it does come across as quite offensive and cynical.
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The 3 Laws of Robotics were pretty much made obsolete not long after they were created, by Asimov himself. As he explored the philosophical quanderies in his books and came to the conclusion that the 3 laws had loopholes and just didn't cut it. While most people still believe in them, people involved with robotics or robots themselves should be aware of this, so to even implement them in the first place would be like building a boat with a hole in the bottom and hoping it won't sink. Maybe just add the word revised to it, keeping it vague.
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The Near Earth Space Supremacy Act is a chartered mutual defense agreement signed between the Atlantic Federation, the Pacific Rim Coalition, the Eurasian Alliance, Free India, and the South African United Republics. The Act sets up protocols for joining forces for the common defense of Earth from an aggressor acting from outside of the planet. The NESS Act was formulated as a defensive stratagem to deter the potential for hostilities should they develop between Earth and the colonies on other planets in the Solar System.
The Tycho Conventions
Initially founded to confront the Oxygen Depletion Crisis, later becomes the International forum on arcano-ethics, comparable to the Geneva Conventions of the Petroleum Era. The Convention is held annually at the Tycho Scientific Center near the crater of the same (alternately spelled) name.
Creation of Atmospheric Processors - the original reason for the Convention, restoring the atmosphere, which at the time was badly damaged and was moving towards being unable to sustain human life.
Creche Initiative - One of the side effects of the Resource Wars was widespread extermination of many plants and animals. Bio-remediation, and creating cloned plants and animals was a priority.
Recognition of Clone Rights - A contentious issue, megacorps claim the clones they create are property, social groups and some nations consider clones sentient and free individuals.
Recognition of Sentient Rights - With machine intelligence having been established, the sentient machines demanded the recognition of their rights and free will despite not being organic in nature.
Banning WMDs - The arco-centric nature of the Cosmic Era lends itself to extreme vulnerability to weapons of mass destruction, be it nuclear explosives capable of destroying a city, or viral/bio weapons unleashed against an enclosed arco-population. This is a widely followed article, as the vulnerability is shared across the world. (Clandestine operations are still working on bio and viral weaponry, nuclear explosives have fallen out of favor as barbaric)
Banning the creation of 'ubermensh' - A perennial fear is the ubermensh, the super man. Also called the Super Soldier or Super Human article, it is one of the most commonly ignored articles of the conventions. A third of bio-augmentations available violate this article.
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Banning the creation of 'epsilons' - Aldous Huxley's Brave New World gave the world a look at Epsilons, genetically engineered subhumans, crippled in mind and body to a small group of menial tasks. The article bans the creation of subhumans for the purpose of limiting their use and creating a genetic slave class.