Damn this is good, classic retro feel, good visuals in some ways I want more but on the other hand there is something to said for the concise use of GM voice and the piece's overall brevity. Go to Comment
4.5/5 While awesome and FULL of potential for adventuring(In fact this would make an
amazing adventure modual that would work well for a supers game too) I feel that you missed the boat a little bit on this. This is perfect to turn into a DF and expand the CEs Cthuhu conection. Don't squander the oppertunity!!!! Go to Comment
This is fun idea, I like the idea of the giant semi-intelligent hive being. I like how you went into detail of the types of weapons, and the idea of the white admiral is nice touch. It would be fun to write up some wargame scenarios for the cosmic era. How much work would it be to pull together some basic rules for movement and damage and then start drawing up some units. We could do the Amerkia Command Infantry units, Pacific Rim flight mechs, a couple parapyschic command units, that could be neat.
As to the writing:
I suggest changing the opening sentence. If this was a work of non-fiction it would be described as "fact explosion'. As it is a work of fiction you need to add just enough specific details to offer versimilitude but enough to be dull and estoric.
"it's something of an old sailor's tale from the Pacific, most of the time the only people who know these stories are the the Hakka PROPER NOUN, Tanka PROPER NOUN, and Hoklo boat people of Southeast Asia PROPER NOUN, mercenaries and subvsersives of the Python Patrol PROPER NOUN, and the fleet intelligence communities of the Eurasian Alliance (Submarine Fleet) PROPER NOUN PacRim Coalition (Micronesia Fleet Arm) PROPER NOUN, and the Atlantic Federation (Space Intelligence) PROPER NOUN."
If this was a work non-fiction this would be what is called a 'fact explosion'. All these names are numbing and become meaningless. Plus you don't reference back to them in a meaningful way. Go to Comment
Seeing as parapsy abilities are rooted in spiritual trauma, it could lead that the presence of EMS and its symptoms could aggravate the situation. The people in the towers are cleaner, more insulated, and more complacent, while the people in the sprawl and undercity are being irradiated as well oppressed. That works nicely. Go to Comment
In the inaccessible plateau of Hor-Nushan, there was always little crime. But in late autumn comes a maddening wind, that can drive the best man crazy, if only for a short time, make him turn on himself or others. For murder, the locals have devised a special punishment: the murderer has to dig a well for the family of his victim. The area is very dry, and having a good well is a source of wealth and prestige. In this way, the murderer atones for his deed and repays the family; perhaps they even find peace.