One of the things about this submission is that I wrote it in the hopes of pulling some of these different threads together and give them some cohesion. This is also written from the hopeful perspective of putting the setting together into some sort of publishable format, and if it does end up a book, there would pretty much have to be a chapter on how arcanotech works and why it does.
Unfortunately I don't enjoy this aspect because it feels like I am showing my hand, and showing how I do things and make them work on a mechanical level, a functional level and that ruins the magic. Go to Comment
If there was really no magic in this you would have published this article in Nature and not roleplaying website. I like it, and this stuff is a necessary tool for deep fiction (by deep I mean complicated). Go to Comment
I like your treatment/adaptation of this. I for one would want to see more, perhaps of other mythoi. Might I suggest Tekken? They've got some inexplicable characters and techniques I'd like to see Cosmicized.
You said Scorpion was the result of "infernal sorcery." Do you mean *magic* magic, or something else? I don't recall magic being a feature of the Cosmic Era setting, though you'll forgive me if I missed it mentioned in your wide corpus of work. Go to Comment
I think this a poor merging of these topics into the cosmic era. You haven't done anything new with the characters. I get that a big appeal of the cosmic era is playing with all the toys at once, and that respect perhaps you could a do write that mixes a lot of the things into one scene.
Example: Perhaps Kano runs an international contracting company as part of his cover. Kano and his team travel to a country with a bunch of heavy equipment and his management crew. You then breakdown this team as follows
Heavy construction equipment are actually the constructocons. A bunch of siebertronian beings.
Kano's girlfriend Pizazz travels with him along with her all girl punk band the Misfits
You get where I am going, if you really want to put all the stuff in the pot you got to take it out of the box first. All you did here is use the jargon and proper names from your setting to explain characters that already exists. At least your G.I. Joe clone list was a little tongue in cheek and had the amusing possibility of a ship manned by 400 shipwrecks.
The main thing that I think of is that you don't have to hit all seven points to have a constructive criticism, but it should ideally make you aware of how you critique, and how you could be more effective. Some people come across as very adversarial in their delivery, while others can end up being unhelpfully vague. Go to Comment
All commentors and submitters should read this monthly to remind themselves what good criticism is, and what to do with criticism. Those periodic times when people forget one or the other tend to cause offense to be taken unnecessarily, and nobody likes that. Go to Comment