While I would tend to agree with fellow strolenites, the thing that bothers me the most about this is the formatting. I can always look past been there done that type of submission as long as it is written well, punctuated, and formatted in a legible manner.
The non-spacing of each paragraph is rather bothersome to read for me as well as some of the names used look very familiar to me. I can't put my finger on it, or my minds eye so to speak, but I have read more than one book with some of those names filtering in them somewhere. Could be a coincidence...
NPCs (Extras) (Criminal/Espionage)