I like the main idea of her tears of sorrow/empathy make animals be good. I appreciate also how you keep things general for many different worlds. At the same time, dont be too afraid of details... people can just ignore ones they don't like unless your whole character depends on it. In this post, a little more histroy might be nice. I wonder, if she is so kind to animals and they become good once she cries on them... has an animal ever mauled her (it wouldnt be nice until after she cried on it, right? So maybe she goes to help it and it mauls her... how does this affect her if it were to happen?) Go to Comment
I like the post, and you did a great job with formatting and spelling/grammer. By making little sections you were able to give us a lot of details about the character. You gave different ways of incorporating her (with different or no religions) and you did not flood the post with game-specific terms (+X to whatever) both of which are also good. If there were one thing I would say to work on it is to make the character more original. Many healers are beautiful, many beneficient powerful beings appear weak to test people - that doesn't mean it's not okay to use these stereotypes... they get used because people like them. But if you can come up with a new idea, that's even better. For example, good people and healers are often beautiful and bad people and monsters are often ugly. Why? Do we think this is how life is? It's convention, but that makes it lazy. When was the last time you heard about the ugly lady who became a healer because she realized she was not popular for her looks, so she had to be really nice. And then maybe a powerful spiirit rewarded her for persevering instead of just being jealous, and enhanced her power.
So, in summary, it's a GREAT first post, and I'm looking forward to seeing more from you. Go to Comment