Strolen\s Citadel content. 
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-03-02 09:50 AM
The explanation is a bit sparse. We need a bit more description, not only in terms of looks, but abilities and details of the blade itself.

I don't need specific history for this personally, this is a type of weapon... rather than an individual piece. Though what culture or when in history this technique was first discovered or used might be useful.

Crystals and metal don't make an alloy, they make an aggrigate (which in metal makes for a weak one). So this has to be a totally magic process.

How do mere blacksmiths tap this uber magic. Do they go to magic training or get magical training in their apprenticeship? Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-03-02 12:45 PM
Oh. I just noticed this was your very first post here.

You managed to overcome most of the barriers that most first time posters stumble over. Good for you.

To continue on from my original comments, which might be seen as vague...
To be complete, your post needs to answer; "Who is involved?", "What is happening (and where and when)?" and "How and why things occur?". If it is an item or setting then include: What is the item/place? and What can it do?

Details are not as important as completeness. Read your post. Is there anything that someone (who doesn't know your campaign and the backstory) might have a question about? If you find such a question, edit the write up and include the answer to that question. Keep reading your post until you have answered every question (including ones that seem really stupid... there are a lot of really stupid people out there).

The Gold Standard here is quite simple:
If your post could not be part of a published fantasy novel, it needs work. That is what you should aim for.

If your item/ npc/ plot/ setting is not as well described and developed as something you would find in a published fantasy novel (excluding most DnD licensed novels), then it is not equal to the gold standard and needs work.

This standard is really not that hard to meet. New members often meet it on their first or second try. You do not need to be a professional writer, you just need to put a little effort into doing it right.

To help you achieve these, review the top rated posts of the category you want to post it. If you want to do an item, click into items, then the highest rated (in red) and it will give you a list of the best items. Read the first ten or so.

Hope to see more work from you (and an edit on this one) Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-03-02 06:31 AM
I like the fact that it is made of a crystal metal alloy (watch the spelling there ;) Otherwise this is a rather generic sword. Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-03-01 09:00 PM
So far, boring, just another generic magic sword.I will hold off my vote in the hope that you can turn it into something good. Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Dozus's comment on 2013-02-22 02:35 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Murometz's comment on 2006-03-01 08:38 PM
could use some more detailed explanation. like why cant magic be cast while its unsheathed, whats the seal look like, how did the blade get to be this way, who made the first one, etc...The bit about the smith unlocking full potential is kind of interesting-could use a little more splainin'

I'll hold off vote for now. Go to Comment
The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2013-02-22 02:16 PM
A reasonable item if sparse. Muro's and Moons detailed comments are good.

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The Kamuinji Sabre
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Wulfhere's comment on 2013-02-22 06:57 PM

A worthy first try, Rowler. Read the feedback, then consider how to make you next submission even better. In your shoes, I wouldn't go nuts revising this piece, but would instead focus my effort on outdoing myself with each new idea.

When you write, try to think of details that a reader might not expect, but which make sense. Ideally, you want to leave your reader thinking "I never would have thought of that!"

Hmmm.  I just noticed that this was first submitted in 2006.  In all likelihood, it's too late to give Rowler advice.

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       By: CaptainPenguin

These creatures are desert animals that are much like huge, quadripedal sloths. They have a hide made of heavy scales to keep out gritting sand, and over that, a thick coat of fur.
During sandstorms, and when they sleep, Suppoki bed down in the sand, covering themselves up until they are miniature dunes.
Suppoki derive what sustenance they can from water sinks, dew, and underground insects.
Suppoki are often ridden by desert tribesmen. They are stubborn and slow, but are often the difference between life and death out on the sands.

Ideas  ( Lifeforms ) | May 7, 2004 | View | UpVote 1xp