I really enjoyed reading about Railus and the Circle of Blood, but now there's even more to look forward to. I think for these items to be at their best we need some more of the story. What happened when the apprentices tried to destroy Railus? I can't really guess because each scenario I think of brings more questions.
So, yes. Write-ups on Railus and Mordum would be most appreciated. Go to Comment
I read it and enjoyed it. It's nice to see an echanted ring that affects its wearer in subtle rather than overt ways. And the little part that describes how the art of necromancy is carried out in Sanctum further aadds to its appeal. Can we expect a write up on Fate and Bloomail as well? Go to Comment
The set up with the other rings hinted at some other form of undead, but this was a nice twist. Maybe a little more indepth description on how it attacks the person's insecurities would be nice. Nice way to complete the set, now how about a submission on Railus and Mordum?
For some reason I can't vote, but I will once it allows me to. Go to Comment
I'm not really seeing what makes these particularly special; the way they're described, they're essentially not much more than clockworks draped in rotting meat. I don't really see how they can be described as having dark magic involved if they're supposed to be getting around wards against magic.
I think there's potential here for something unique, but I don't think this lives up to anything close to the potential it might have.
Explain where and how the referenced magic comes into it, if you would, and perhaps explain what makes them something besides a clockwork assassin wearing a humanoid skin.
The kicker for me comes from the construct-corpse I was working on as a sub. Interesting to see the echo of the idea here. Go to Comment
This is quite a bit better; I have to agree with Ouro as well; it's a good idea, and much better in terms of being fleshed out than initially. It still has potential to get a bit better, and more detailed. Presumably when Sanctum and the Desecrator are submitted, the intertwining will help this sub.
The update made a world of difference. I really like the idea that the holy powers that usually destroy or hinder undead will have no effect on these horrors. That alone makes them very usable. I agree with David on the "leaving so many stones unturned" part.
There is a lot of potential to explore with this idea. I would keep adding to this piece as time goes on, maybe add a note out the effects of different types of magic/energies. I am especially interested in electricity damage and how they respond to necrotic effects. Some unique ways to combat them would be cool too. Go to Comment
Updated: It was late when I posted this and could have sworn I flagged it as In Work (viewable), but I guess I did not. Regardless, thanks for the comments, some more useful than others.
I added a description and a bit more information on how they work/made. I tossed a little tease in there about the Desecrator, which will actually tie into some of my other subs once I get his write-up done. Go to Comment
I'm not really a fan of steampunk, but I can see these things marching on civilization and its mildly terrifying. They definitely fit the feel of steampunk and like Gorgon said, as long as the technology exists in a game they could be easily adaptable. Go to Comment
Tämbourine is firmly placed on my back ,to unsheathe this sword I simply have to say "re clouse" meaning come to me or i can just reach over and unsheathe it the old fashioned way. This sword was created to my liking tambourine is made of raw-like metals I found in different regions as I begun to forge the metals together, I’ve noticed that the raw metal materials were different pieces to a wide variety of swords that were used the past and present, being so most blades have a sheer grey texture Tambourine’s blade became black as the depths of the oceans. The blade expands to 6” which weighs 426lbs the sapphire jewel placed on the tip of hilt (upper middle center of the base) it emits a aura texture of purple which weighs 24lbs the jewel is un-breakable it negates magic for tambourine has a mind of its own only belonging to me it finds a worthy opponents who doesn’t use magic or any type of power to their liking which I can agree with(who would want an opponent that abuses their powers to kill for no reason or to avoid dying by honor tambourine fights with honor and accepts its glory or defeat) I’ve named the sapphire Sophia because not only that its rare and radiant it resembles my burning passion for my love Sophia. I made the hilt to be a length of 15 inches its frame is created with fine katchin (very thick and heavy metal) it alone weighs 50 pounds its texture is black like mixture of, I made it to be a cruciform hilt so it has room for two hands. I I made the blades hilt aprox. 2”, the blade is double-edged but the left side of the swords frame can block and or negate ones attack if needed, it weights 500lbs making it nearly unmovable. To go up against this sword is to quickly find your own death. Tambourine is a twin sword to Terra.