Update: Added in six new books following Kuseru's recommendations (which took an hour to name and do up the flavor text!), and having hit the magic 30, renamed the sub to suit. Go to Comment

Mm, the problem with the "compelling historical evidence" shtick is that it breaks no ground; many real-world religions claim that their texts comprise exactly that.

What WOULD do so are completely unrelated books ... but I already do have an example of that, above. Go to Comment

Excellent work. Agree with Echo, almost everyone one of these books could be the start of something bigger. And yet none of them are "cursed" or "book of wonderous magic", which I believe tends to turn books into either magic items or worthless paper. Highly creative with wide variety. Thanks!

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Very, very nice.  The only reason that this is not receiving a 5 from me is because some of the ideas are too closely related to really count as separate entries (in my opinion, which should always be taken with a grain of salt).  To illustrate, the following three entries all deal with religious texts that contradict current practices:

Arzhang: The holy scripture of a major religion, long lost and passed down only in oral tradition.  It may have sections contradicting in whole or in part current practice (which may have been corrupted in transmission), or detailing rites that have been forgotten, however consonant they may be with contemporary beliefs.

Book of the Watchers: A religious tome telling a familiar tale, well known to adherents of the dominant faith - so much so that the faithful all recognize the familiar phraseology, and many can recite sections from memory - but with numerous differences, in cadence, plot and characterization.

Gnostic Bible: An entire book - or collection of chapters, tales and/or essays - devoted to one of the world’s leading faiths ... and which completely contradict several major doctrines of that faith, or introduce doctrines hitherto unknown to it.  The work may have been excised from the canon centuries ago as apocryphal.

Instead of contradicting, could one of these books have been used to offer compelling evidence of the factual basis of a dominant faith?  What about a retelling of a major historical event, taking into account the direct actions of the gods/Chosen One that has been ruthlessly suppressed for centuries by the decidedly non-religious Empire?

On a different not entirely, I absolutely loved many of these entries -- especially Contes de la Mere Oye.  That could kick off a particularly creepy campaign, in which the voices and songs of children are the vessel or powersource needed to bring back an Elder Evil, or somesuch.  Well done, overall. 4/5

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Excellent. I can't wait to see more of these.

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It's very... RPG-like. Like it was made for a computer game, or for a set of characters in pen-and-paper.

Also, why wasn't it looted in the 4000 years before?

I like the prose, though.

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Let me rephrase. The location does not sound realistic - it seems its sole existence was to sit there, provide a modest challenge to some dude, then cease being relevant. Go to Comment

For example, the haunting - it is presented as penance, telling of their errors. Why then does the haunt fade after telling the story of their failure to a scant few tresspassers?

What else?
It is straightforward.
It steers players away from interaction/cooperation.
The trials could be far better.
The presentation could use spicing up.
Etc.

I am not bitching, I am intent on helping you improve. Go to Comment

Oh.
Sorry for trying to help.
I thought we put up things on Strolen's to get some critique.

You act like it's perfect.
Whatever. Go to Comment

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If you look above, at first I offered just critique, without suggestions (not orders) - to which I received a less than friendly reply.

Hence, I elaborated, and pointed out possible improvements. Because, I'm such a nice guy.

Upon which I again receive a pissed-off paragraph.

Hence, a last suggestion: calm down, really. Or I will come to think the RG at the beginning of your nick means Rage-Guy. You know, this dude:
http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZZPcU-ZbqDLNvkrun5rg57pczzUFrw4tVECwAkLI4UKWhgSQ4dw&t=1 Go to Comment

A well-written submission.

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I agree forcing the party to split is forcing one part of the party to deal with the problem while the other part of the party will wonder off or work hard to force themselves into the room, Go to Comment

I disagree with the assertion that these first two challenges are easier. They are roleplaying problems with open end solutions. If you ask your average roleplayer if would rather have his or her character take care of baby or fight a room full of zombies, I know what the answer would be. Go to Comment

The first paragraph is very good, but could use a little more polish.  Which way are the doors facings?  Do the runes mean anything?  I don't know that it needs much more just few tweaks would make it smoother.  Also when you launch into your backstory, it is right after you state that the ghost "speaks....".  This could use more of a transition.

 

As to the concept itself, Have you played this out yet?  I have run a couple of these repetative challenege rooms and found that players are less excited about these then more linear challenges.  Each room feels like they are starting over.  I am very curious as to how this challenge is recieved by other groups. 

 

Finally it does have a very classic  (1st ed. DnD) feel, but I like that the challenges and consequneces are not just mechanic based.  How do you plan to play out the slow lose of a moral compass? 

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(grins) Designed for role-playing games? Go figure.

As far as why it hasn't been looted in the previous 4000 years, who's to say no one has tried? Most tomb-thieves don't come with large parties to overcome arcane dangers; one or two guys, tops.

But, of course, you can guess why in the text: this was in a thinly-populated area that the "handful of survivors" fled entirely. Think of all the archaeological finds in the last century in a similar state: long forgotten ruins in a land reverted to jungle or forest, places known only to the occasional (disinterested) hunter. Go to Comment

What's "unrealistic" about haunted burial mounds? It's not only a staple of tabletop gaming, it's a staple of Earth's own mythology.

Are they stupendous challenges? No, they're not. Are all such challenges required to be, and do we presuppose every party taking one on is a veteran one?

Do they involve dozens of intricate rooms and chambers with zillions of fiendish traps and dozens of awesome creatures? No, they don't, but - after all - we're talking realism here, and there's not a lot that's ever been put to paper in RPG-land less realistic than "dungeons" ... quite aside from the difficulty in statting one out without reference to system mechanics.

Would a series of tombs in the middle of nowhere that was looted, and its undead destroyed, cease to be relevant to the campaign? I would imagine so, except in so far as future explorers were archaeologists; I don't much feel the need to recycle old plots, or press the reset button and hope I get a 100% turnover in players so that I can. Would that be "unrealistic?" No more so than Karnak, the Pyramids, Angkor Wat or Petra are "unrealistic" because they're ancient ruins of mystery which were looted over the years. Go to Comment

That presumes that "improvement" = "conforming to your prejudices."

For one thing, I don't think that "straightforward" is a bad thing. Something that, IMHO, has badly marred this hobby is the notion that there has to be an arms race between GMs and players - problems have to be ever-more baroque and convoluted, and players aren't rewarded for good or clever plans so much as they are for guessing the precise answers the GM had previously in mind. There's a lot to be said for problems with logical solutions.

For another thing, this is already a highly cooperative hobby, and the overwhelming majority of adventures emphasizes it already. Indeed, this encounter strips the players away from their guaranteed collective support network and forces them to solve the problems individually, of their own resources, without advice from others. I don't think that's a bad thing either.

Spicing up? Of course I could have written three times as many words to say pretty much the same thing. However, I have my own preferences for how much flavor text I'm going to shove down players' throats. There's a point where "evocative" seques into "boring" and "repetitive," and I seek to err on the former side, short of the point where eyes start to roll, players start to sigh, and attention begins to drift to the laptops. Go to Comment

Perhaps you do, and that's fine - you can submit what you please for the reasons which suit you, and no one can say boo to that. For my part, I've mined Strolen's heavily for ideas and stuff for my game. Putting up subs is my way of giving back. No one ought to say boo to me for *that*.

"Perfect?" No, I never said anything of the sort, and I'm quite capable of choosing my own words without someone putting them into my mouth. But my subs ARE designed the way I wanted them to be designed, have the amount of challenge I prefer, target the archetypes I want targeted and have the amount of flavor text I find suitable. Those who share my preferences are welcome to steal my stuff. Those who want to rewrite my stuff to suit their own preferences, they're welcome too - heck, I do that enough for things I clip from this site.

But telling me, repeatedly yet, that I ought to write my material to suit someone else's preferences? A bunch of game companies have paid me to do exactly that over the years; that's about the only way I'm going to do that. Go to Comment