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Venturers' Guild Hall
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-05-21 06:38 PM
What if a Press Gang raided this place to grab men for the Navy? Go to Comment
Venturers' Guild Hall
Locations  (City)   (Water)
Drackler's comment on 2009-05-23 05:48 PM
Very good! I like the completeness of the post. I also like the completeness of the NPCs. The first paragraph is fairly long, and there are a couple points where it might be good to break it down, but it's pretty good as it is. I would, however, like to see a plot idea or two. Surely, there's at least one in there somewhere, and I'd like to see it. Go to Comment
Venturers' Guild Hall
Locations  (City)   (Water)
RGTraynor's comment on 2009-05-21 07:04 PM
Probably the commander of the press would find himself as the port officer on a desert island far, far away. Merchantmen in most jurisdictions had certificates of protection against the press. Beyond that, the Venturers' Guild is *organized* - there'd be dire political repercussions.

The press'd have much better luck picking off random sailors on the streets than raiding the Guild Hall. Go to Comment
Venturers' Guild Hall
Locations  (City)   (Water)
RGTraynor's comment on 2009-05-23 10:46 PM
Update: Cleaned up formatting with the new site look. Go to Comment
Chuliks
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2009-05-22 08:41 AM
Proud warrior guys with a penchant for kung-fu. Better than the Fristles and the khibils. Still they are one dimensional but there is a feel for their culture. Go to Comment
Chuliks
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-05-21 06:33 PM
They make me think of the Hulk. Go to Comment
Chuliks
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Drackler's comment on 2009-05-21 05:21 PM
I like it!
The Chuliks are, to me, like orcs that have been advanced to civilization. The writing is easy to read, which is always a plus. There are two things that I would like to see.
First, when you mention the Khibils, although you link to them, you should also tell a bit about them, even if it only a short sentence. This tells us what they are without us having to click on the link and read the sub.
Secondly, I would like more about Shathana, their homeland. You say it is the far South, is it surrounded by jungles? Deserts? Something else entirely?
Good job, RGTraynor, and welcome to the Citadel! Go to Comment
Chuliks
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2009-05-24 06:54 PM
Again agree with Scras - there is at least some measure of culture here which is better. The problem is that there really is not to use directly without doing a lot of one's own creation.

And in truth, the description is pretty scant - big guys with yellow skin and tusks. Mini ogres?

Your writing as Drackler has commented is good and readable, but this like others is a good start.




Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2009-05-22 08:39 AM
Fox-men? are there no fox-women? Another one dimensional furry race Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-05-21 06:32 PM
Nice.Do they like eating rabbits? Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2009-05-21 06:42 PM
Interesting, though a little light as playable races go here.

I have a question about the following:

"Possibly for this reason, they are highly prized as mercenaries and in many positions (such as wizardry, craft guilds or politics) which confer status. "

Why would anyone prize them? It seems more likely they would prize these professions for the reason given.

Interesting, but it seems more of an intro then an in-depth treatment. I would love to see more. Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
RGTraynor's comment on 2009-05-21 06:58 PM
Because it's something of a truism in life that someone who presents himself with supreme self-confidence and arrogance will by that fact alone convince a lot of folks that he's something special. (Heck, isn't the advertising industry based on the premise that you'll think a product's great just because some paid actors tell you it is?)

Bringing it more to the point, what impresses people more? Those who are good fighters, or those who LOOK impressive? Trot out a guy who looks like The Rock, put him in a dapper uniform with lots of shiny medals, and folks would just assume he's a complete badass. Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
RGTraynor's comment on 2009-05-22 02:37 PM
I'm fairly persnickety about language, which I see this site is as well. "Men" has been used as the neuter collective for "men and women" for centuries.

What other dimensions would you like to see? Other than these snippets of tendencies, the three races I posted have, by and large, assimilated into the dominant local cultures, and don't have a raft of unique cultural or psychological practices distinguishable from them. It would be like ascribing a set of detailed, specific practices to "humans." Go to Comment
Khibils
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
DrTurtlesse's comment on 2009-05-21 06:05 PM
I really enjoyed this and the Fristle sub. Classy presentation, fairly original. Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Kassil's comment on 2009-05-25 08:51 PM
I would have to concur - even among humanity, there are overall trends that can be used to broadly script out what we are, as a collective group. There are wide variations - both individually and culturally - but these don't invalidate the general overview.

The description you've given suggests little beyond 'This is a cat that someone taught to be bipedal, but to make it special it's EXTRAPLANAR!'

Please, more details. I'd honestly consider this much more of a stub than a full submission as it currently stands. It has potential glimmers - but as it stands it's almost a cardboard cutout of Anime Catperson, to me. Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2009-05-22 08:36 AM
Yay cat-people.

They are from the desert.

Pretty sparse on the details and follows the basic perception of what people think of cats. I have 3 cats, all of them have widely different temperaments and attitudes. Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Scrasamax's comment on 2009-05-25 04:42 PM
iThat's the problem here: people expect non-human races to be monolithically lockstepped into rigid traditions, customs and practices that humans in no particular whatsoever follow as one/i

I am going to have to object to this sentiment. I think you have presented an invalid argument to cover the fact that your cat-people have no defining characteristics. Your Fristles as presented are Cat people who have an aptitude for magic and are not priests. You have given no insights into their culture, their lifestyle, just a cardboard cut out of Fritz the Cat dressed for the Renaissance Fair.

I hear constantly that Stereotypes and generalizations are inacurate and unfair. To that I say bologna, because if there wasnt a grain of truth in a stereotype or generalization it wouldn't hold up and therefore wouldnt exist. If you say your catfolk are elitist epicurians, that doesnt confine all of them to that mode, it just gives a basic to measure them against. Not all of them are going to be Model X citizens.

Your arguement is reflexive in response to criticism, and unfortunately not admissable Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Cheka Man's comment on 2009-05-21 06:31 PM
I like this cat-race. Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2009-05-27 01:27 PM
Easily expanded upon, short but solid. Go to Comment
Fristles
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2009-05-24 06:49 PM
Have to agree with Scras here- there really is nothing to differentiate them from generic cat people.

I think the choice not to have specific cultural differences is a mistake for these races. Humanity alone has huge differences, a different species should have even more, no matter how well assimilated. Go to Comment
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