1- Like the peculiar name Circ'l'd Sea
2- When you say they are simple farmers, I think you meant to say they are simple herders..?
3- not crazy about Mhongols as a name. Too close to real thing.
4- LOVE their religion, and the fact that the dismembered pieces of Ashand may or may not be distributed among the temples. Nice touch!
Please, check the spelling, it pulls the interesting plot down. I was also slightly lost at first in the many characters and their motivations, but that is clearly the strong side of the plot. Perhaps a short summing up of both families would be in place.
The big problem with this one is getting the PCs to give a damn about it. Money can only motivate one so far(ie Katerin paying the PCs for their assistance). If I were to use a scenario like this, I would have to use characters that the PCs both knew and cared about. This would require a few games of setup for me to accomplish. Otherwise, if no suitable reward were in order, what's the point of risking one's neck? My players are not TERRIBLY mercenary, but even still, if one is going to risk one's neck, they'd like it to either be for a decent amount of reward, OR for people they actually give a damn about(which they often do for free)(they are not exactly "quixotic"). 2/5 Go to Comment
I like this plot, but setting it up could be ticklish, as others have commented already. In order to make the player characters more inclined to take the mission, I would present Carl as very conflicted, with his political responsibilities to his House and his Monarch forcing him to put aside his affection for his nieces. If House Tremane is presented as a truly dubious bunch (pointing up their ties with the rebels, the way that their lands are a haven for bandits, their willingness to use children as hostages, etc.), then Carl's reluctance to deal with them becomes quite reasonable.
If it's clear that he wants to get the children back but can't because of his allegience to the Iron Throne, the player characters may be led to feel that they are actually doing the man a favor if they work behind his back. Also, the more unpleasant the partisans of House Tremane are, the more likely that the heroes will want to take action to save the little girls from them. As they are all liegemen of the Iron Throne, a bloody raid on the Tremane's stronghold would be a bad idea, potentially triggering open war between the two estates. Go to Comment
Enraged by the violation of the Peace Pool and the Whalebone Forest, a dead leviathan has risen from the bottom of the ocean and now hounds ships around the port where the stolen jewels went to land. It capsizes ships and devours sailors whole, spears protuding from its dead and crab-eaten hide.