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Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2011-02-16 06:32 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Priv8eye's comment on 2006-05-19 05:15 AM
Thanks for the comments.

I spelled checked most of it but never Grammar checked the blurb - quite right to point that out.

If anyone can tell me how to do the bold (not entirely sure) then I will edit it and clean it up a bit. Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Priv8eye's comment on 2006-05-22 03:51 AM
Updated: Edited for Grammar and to define headers in bold Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Murometz's comment on 2006-05-17 09:33 AM
A few comments

1- Like the peculiar name Circ'l'd Sea
2- When you say they are simple farmers, I think you meant to say they are simple herders..?
3- not crazy about Mhongols as a name. Too close to real thing.
4- LOVE their religion, and the fact that the dismembered pieces of Ashand may or may not be distributed among the temples. Nice touch!

Nice submission, after your long hiatus :D Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-10 12:45 PM
Agreed. There is a wiki that includes these details:

http://davideddings.wikia.com/wiki/Styrics







Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
valadaar's comment on 2013-07-11 10:34 AM
Update: Submission should be your own work, not a repost/summary of others. Go to Comment
Hostage Escort
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
manfred's comment on 2005-04-28 06:08 AM
Please, check the spelling, it pulls the interesting plot down. I was also slightly lost at first in the many characters and their motivations, but that is clearly the strong side of the plot. Perhaps a short summing up of both families would be in place.

3/5 Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-04-28 08:44 AM
I think this reasonably good plot needs too be expanded some.

A mini-blurb about the characters will help cement them in our minds.

A small direct summation to explain the existing situation (world and between the families). It is implied now. I needs to be expanded.

Things like this will help us understand the plot more thoroughly.

A very strong first effort. Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2005-04-28 10:00 AM
As manfred and MooonHunter suggested, a little more background would help.

Nonetheless, I think I've got the basic idea.

A nice idea and a good plot - 4/5 Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Dragoon God's comment on 2005-04-30 01:28 PM
I like it alot. Its different and challanging, but fun.
The spelling isnt the bst, but its betterthen my plots. 4/5 Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Priv8eye's comment on 2005-04-28 08:49 AM
Many thanks for the kind words. Unfortunatly I am about to move house and so will be gone for short while but I will try to update when I get back. Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Monument's comment on 2005-07-09 03:41 AM
The big problem with this one is getting the PCs to give a damn about it. Money can only motivate one so far(ie Katerin paying the PCs for their assistance). If I were to use a scenario like this, I would have to use characters that the PCs both knew and cared about. This would require a few games of setup for me to accomplish. Otherwise, if no suitable reward were in order, what's the point of risking one's neck? My players are not TERRIBLY mercenary, but even still, if one is going to risk one's neck, they'd like it to either be for a decent amount of reward, OR for people they actually give a damn about(which they often do for free)(they are not exactly "quixotic"). 2/5 Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
valadaar's comment on 2014-04-17 10:51 AM
I think Goss is dead on here.

Go to Comment
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Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-01-08 02:56 PM
I like this plot, but setting it up could be ticklish, as others have commented already. In order to make the player characters more inclined to take the mission, I would present Carl as very conflicted, with his political responsibilities to his House and his Monarch forcing him to put aside his affection for his nieces. If House Tremane is presented as a truly dubious bunch (pointing up their ties with the rebels, the way that their lands are a haven for bandits, their willingness to use children as hostages, etc.), then Carl's reluctance to deal with them becomes quite reasonable.

If it's clear that he wants to get the children back but can't because of his allegience to the Iron Throne, the player characters may be led to feel that they are actually doing the man a favor if they work behind his back. Also, the more unpleasant the partisans of House Tremane are, the more likely that the heroes will want to take action to save the little girls from them. As they are all liegemen of the Iron Throne, a bloody raid on the Tremane's stronghold would be a bad idea, potentially triggering open war between the two estates. Go to Comment
Hostage Escort
Plots  (Discovery)   (Side-Quest)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-16 11:40 AM
I'm confused, is it Jiame or Jaime? It seems to alternate between the two throughout the text. Also this sounds a whole lot like Game of Thrones. Go to Comment
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