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Knight Templar of Alaithor
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Country/ State)
Priv8eye's comment on 2006-07-04 02:57 AM
Sorry, not clear there. They don't need to serve the fifteen years to be able to be promoted. If you show promise during your term as a turm (did I really just write that?) then you are put forward for promotion to Templar. This could be a tany time during your time in the lower ranks. Go to Comment
Knight Templar of Alaithor
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Country/ State)
Priv8eye's comment on 2006-07-06 10:02 AM
thanks for the comments.

May get around to doing a post regarding the sundering, perhaps mentioning the religion also. Go to Comment
Knight Templar of Alaithor
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Country/ State)
Dozus's comment on 2006-07-03 11:19 PM
Good background, interesting details. A nice modification of the classic paladinic order. Go to Comment
Knight Templar of Alaithor
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Country/ State)
Murometz's comment on 2007-02-14 10:52 AM
what Dozus said! Go to Comment
Knight Templar of Alaithor
Society/ Organizations  (Combative)   (Country/ State)
valadaar's comment on 2007-02-14 11:50 AM
Not bad! Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2006-05-24 04:58 PM
Alright, fine.
I warn you off jacking world cultures too closely, though. Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-05-24 11:30 AM
An excellently done submissions. It has description, depth, and good dramatic hooks. He has many uses. Two paws up! Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-05-22 07:00 AM
Well presented submission, the adventure hooks are good and the character is well explained even if there isnt much on him, rather than his deeds. The character reminds me of the main character from The 13th Warrior. Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-05-22 01:02 PM
I like him.Well written and well described. Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2007-02-15 10:47 AM
Can’t really add much to this – the others have pretty much said it all

The sort of character who can logically exist somewhere in almost any game world

And some nice little plot hooks to boot

A useful NPC the have around

Nice work Priv8eye – 4/5 I think Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Priv8eye's comment on 2006-05-22 09:40 AM
Thanks for comment. Yeah he is based a bit on that character, or rather more from the Michael Chrichton novel Eaters of the Dead on which the film was based. Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
Murometz's comment on 2006-05-22 09:45 AM
Great Book, Good Film, Nice character adaptation! Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
chilled's comment on 2006-05-25 06:56 AM
pretty good.
the hooks are good as well.
keep it up. Go to Comment
Ibn Al-Fadyn
NPCs  (Minor)   (Travelers)
valadaar's comment on 2007-02-15 10:59 AM
Yup, a good solid NPC. Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
manfred's comment on 2006-05-17 03:02 PM
Not bad, they have some colour to themselves. Oh, and don't be afraid to use some bold on the titles, it will make it nicer.

A believable group of people. Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
manfred's comment on 2006-05-19 02:30 PM
Easy: add html tags for bold into the text. (There is also html help on the right side of the editing screen.) Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2006-05-17 05:13 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-05-17 04:31 PM
Nice solid post. There are some dramatic hooks.

Bold for the titles would be nice.

The one things I cound most off setting was:
Styrics are an emotionally lead people who inhabit

You should be more careful for your introductory blurb. It colors people perception of your entire post. Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
EchoMirage's comment on 2011-02-17 04:31 PM


This is more or less copied from David Eddings' works. Not inspired by them, copied.


Go to Comment
Styrics
Society/ Organizations  (Ethnic/Cultural)   (Country/ State)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-05-17 11:42 AM
Nice. 4/5. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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