Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
valadaar's comment on 2014-03-05 08:22 AM
This is very good, though I think a clear explanation of what happened to cause the desert to grow so precipitously would help - that part seemed to beg for more details.

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Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
Kassy's comment on 2013-05-18 07:16 AM
4.0/5

Very interesting sub. I enjoyed reading this. Go to Comment
Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
Moonlake's comment on 2013-06-05 07:10 PM
A very comprehensive sub on a location. The formatting is good and makes it extremely easy to read thru despite the length. I think the Legend, the Persons of Note and Plot Hook sections are done very well but I like the other sections quite a bit less. In particular, I have the following issues with them:
1. Recent History: it's still well-written but I would have appreciated more sign-posting (i.e. tell me to refer to persons of note section for the personages). Currently, the various names mentioned in a short paragraph has a slightly overwhelming effect on me
2. Culture: currently, the majority of the section is concerned with what garb ppl of this city wears. I agree that's one part of culture but I would have appreciated sth more in-depth on cultural aspects. You did go into mindsets of the ppl and beliefs in after-life later but I guess what's bugging me is the inbalance b/w the more 'shallow' aspects of culture (what they wear) and these more in-depth aspects.

Overall, a high quality sub that achieves its purpose of describing the city very well. Go to Comment
Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-05-15 08:11 PM
Update: This city was created for a campaign based on a world shaped like a tetrahedron, with several moons, several suns, and each side named relative to the prevailing element. Hotside, Coldside, Pointyside, and Flatside for Fire, Water, Earth, and Air respectively. Go to Comment
Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-05-18 02:17 PM
What makes you say that? I'm not a huge fan of the series, so I don't remember anything from the movies nor have I read the books. I would have thought it would be more like Dune but then again I haven't read that either. Go to Comment
Xen'da'rik
Locations  (City)   (Desert)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-05-28 01:28 AM
Thank you!

I had one or two thoughts on the sands. The first is that it could be an entirely natural process based upon the weather; in fact the idea of the expanding sands came from the Sahara growing by n square miles per year.

The other more interesting theory is that 'nature spirit' the rangers were sent to destroy is somehow related to the desertification. This explains how the fourth ranger was able to predict that the island would turn to sand and why the third ranger refused the coin - from guilt knowing that what he had done would eventually destroy the island ecosystem.

I say 'nature spirit' because it is never actually revealed what the rangers encountered or did while on the island. Xen'ari assumed it was a nature spirit and hired the people he thought would be best suited to the assumed task. Whatever it is might still be on the island, slowly and vengefully grinding the city of its imprisonment into dust. Go to Comment
The Threat of Sugar
NPCs  (Mythic/ Historical)   (Artistic/Performance)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2014-10-16 06:17 PM
Hey guys I just found this forum thread and reposted it here, it’s got the latest track.

Uugh, I’ll be honest I’ve wasted way too much time reading through threads on Sugar trying to come up with something but I think L1v3tehB347 is right. The best I’ve got is that this all started with the twins Pali mentioned. There was a lot of death in the Futura project so I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them lost their body and the two tried to live in the same morph and ended up merging egos. It would explain why they refer to themselves in the plural and the gender fluidity. They did what the Lost generation was meant to do: they thrived. They started making their music which attracted their async brothers and sisters to them. Spread asyncs throughout a crowd like at a rave and they can amplify the psychic waves Sugar is laying down and turn it into sort of an anarchist hive mind. They’re not dumb though, like lovelylemonlimes pointed out being so high profile is super dangerous for an async which is why they are so interested in giving this persona its own life as a symbol of anarchist freedom. That way if they get caught they can either deny it or have someone else take up the mantle.

Who do you think Sugar is, if you even think Sugar is real and not a collective delusion? Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-03-24 08:01 PM
I like her! Her role seems flexible enough to slot onto a bunch of minor or major encounters and plots, and the background of her affliction of hatred is a nice story. It would be interesting to have her in the party, and perhaps reunite with the witch who granted her a soul to see if she had a way to patch her soul up. Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
valadaar's comment on 2013-03-26 10:21 AM
This is a neat concept and an excellent NPC. As said, she can have lots of uses, even as a backstory for a PC.
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Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
MysticMoon's comment on 2013-03-25 11:05 AM
This is the kind of NPC that can drive a plot in so many unpredictable directions. Ally, enemy, easily underestimated; I likey.

Can someone missing such pieces of their soul know what they do not have? I imagine fear would keep Snap from taking that final step to being whole if it were actually in front of her. Wouldn't that be a death of sorts for her? Would she still be who she is afterward?

I wouldn't mind seeing more about the type of magic used by the witch and how she was able to provide some kind of soul. Was it a created soul? Some sort of trapped demon? A ghost? A patchwork of elemental or nature spirits? This is purely curiosity as the sub works fine on its own. Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-03-22 12:18 AM

Snapdragon makes an equally good ally as adversary. She is intensely competitive in all matters and can become violent if vying for affection or approval. Her actions and words demonstrate a fundamental disconnect despite their good intent. ("Oh kitsune, if I were to rip your heart from your chest I'm sure it would beat just as red as mine!" "Dear sister, I could simply squeeze the flesh from your bones and crush them to powder.") While as a companion she is not liable to randomly lash out she is far more susceptible to mental or demonic influences. 

Snap wishes to have the holes in her soul mended, though it is not something she actively pursues. What this entails could be anything from requited love to eating the heart of a celestial, even she does not know.

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Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-03-22 12:23 PM
Blerg. Need some spitshine on the end but it's mostly done. Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-03-24 10:44 PM
I'm glad you like her! Honestly that plot line about finding the "witch" is the most obvious one of all and it completely blew past me. Good catch. Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-03-25 07:12 PM
I was going to write you a reply, and then I wrote a reply so long I figured I should just add it to the sub as an idea. I think the answer to the first part of your question is that she was not always this way. She was perfectly fine until her parents broke the covenant, and loved her sister more than her.  Go to Comment
Snapdragon
NPCs  (Minor)   (Combative)
PoisonAlchemist's comment on 2013-03-25 07:14 PM

I imagined that the "witch" (I use that term loosely, she is never referred to as a witch until she goes against the family's wishes) pulled together what parts of a soul were in the womb, and bound them together with Talia and Amond's affections. Over time this binding fused together the soul into a mostly viable person, but when the spell was broken there were large gaps left. Holes cause a combination of emotional and physical pain where an aspect of her (such as her capacity for empathy) once was while the parts there are (such as anger) attempt to fill what is missing. It's similar to those who feel pain in phantom limbs, which is caused by the brain overtaking the parts used to control the missing limb and applying them to different tasks. 

These holes are not a terribly uncommon occurrence in people but the holes most have are small and get repaired with time or stoppered with something such as drugs or a new puppy. Unrepaired souls make a fabulous foothold for evil influences which is why there is usually some trauma associated with those who walk that path. What makes that route doubly tempting is that when someone is killed their soul momentarily passes through that of the killer and fills in those gaps for a few seconds. Beating a person within inches of their life brings them within touching distance and has a similar though less dramatic effect, as does intimate sex (though the conditions for that are difficult to meet as it requires nothing short of true love). 

In effect, Snap's soul is filled with many large gaps and cracks making it a breeding ground for the essence of the nether realms. She's caught between the person she knew she was, and the person she feels she is. The monks taught her to manage the constant pain, the consuming rage, and the breeding evil, but none of it ever goes away. If she ever lets her guard down at least one of these will overtake her, and no one is sure what happens after that. 


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The Hand of Callous Justice
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Shadoweagle's comment on 2013-05-29 09:12 PM
As the others mentioned - this is a sub which definitely focusses on the backstory more than the item itself. This isn't a bad thing, so long as the item doesn't suffer, and in this case I think it did; it's a little vague - I'd love to know why the hand was given it's abilities and how they are used. Why his hand? Would the criminal family go back and lop off other appendages to see if they had powers as well? Do the fingers curl up as the powers are used in a manner like the Monkey's Paw wishes?

i'm all for this Judge being so commited to his work and law that his very hand retained the essence of his beliefs - perhaps that is what happened? Maybe the power concentrated in his hand because of the way he swung his gavel with such conviction at sentencing of his own son.

Anyway; a handy (haha, punny!) item, but some more depth would be nice. Go to Comment
The Hand of Callous Justice
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Ted's comment on 2013-02-26 03:30 AM

Withered Fist

The blackened and withered Hand of Callous Justice is forever trapped in the shape of a fist. Shrunken with age, someone long ago had the idea to incorporate it into a necklace so that the emblem of unflinching loyalty to the law could be worn about the neck.

Those wearing the Hand of Callous justice feel themselves strongly compelled to enforce the law in the harshest way possible- all but the most minor of violations demand the death of the perpetrator. The Hand's demands must be met immediately, lest the owner be stricken with unbearable agony until justice is served.

The Hand allows its owner to immediately become aware of any crime or dishonesty done in their presence, immediately granting complete immunity to the Criminal's attacks. Those using the Hand of Callous Justice find that those they are hunting are completely unable to strike them, their attacks passing through the hunter harmlessly.

The Hand carries a great burden of responsibility- should its owner commit a crime, the Hand of Callous Justice will demand their death, and subject them to relentless suffering and pain until their death- whether at their own hand, or by the next owner of the Hand of Callous Justice.

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The Hand of Callous Justice
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Ted's comment on 2013-02-26 03:32 AM
Added my take on the hand and the powers it should grant. Go to Comment
The Hand of Callous Justice
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Kassy's comment on 2013-06-01 05:09 AM
3.0/5

Sadly your links are Grue infested. I would like to read more of the three locations you mention. Go to Comment
The Hand of Callous Justice
Items  (Other)   (Magical)
Elbin's comment on 2013-05-29 03:57 PM
I think you spend too much time on the history of the judge, and almost nothing on the actual item that the sub is about. From the beginning it sounded like an NPC description, not an item. The power of the hand is also somehow "dropped from the sky", as we say here (in Bulgaria). It doesn't come logically (or illogically, for that matter) from the rest. Go to Comment
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