manfred... Who knew?
Ok major things I wish to learn more about...
Who is the Witch, or a witch as it seemed a title to me and not just a position.
The Fog of Rigor... very intriguing name...
The Conclave and the Blackened Church...
ll in all though... damn good job. Very colorful in flavor.
Definitely a scary creature - and a brutal one at that. A good way to flesh out an elemental religion.
I love it! This is shaping up to be a truly new and creative setting. Good language, excellent imagery. I look forward to reading more.
Intriguing to being with. As Dossta said it is an original take on a pantheon. It would be interesting if there were separate courts for the senses divided in their individual courts yet together in the pantheon by an odd form of harmony.
However, I would like more information on the parental gods as well as why Hyewmor took his mothers eyes and ate them. Was it to gain her unique sight or abilities? Or was it simply out of spite for looking at him differently than his two siblings?
I'll be the first to say that this is a really original pantheon, and I'm surprised that it works so well. However, I wish that Hyewmor was a little better defined. You tell us that he's the enemy of the rest of the Occular Court, but he's little different from any other "bad god" that I've seen in RPGs -- as far as I can tell, he's motivated purely by "teh Evuls".
I would have made him the god of blindness, expect that Opstiscus fills that roll so nicely. So perhaps he could be the god of false sight -- delusions, mirages, eye diseases and the like. Depicting him as completely and irrevocably insane would also jive a bit better with his actions after birth.
Remember that these are just my thoughts -- I truly don't want to detract from the pure originality of this piece. Right now, this is a solid 3 for me, with + .5 for pure creativity. Well done!
The format seems a little confusing. I had to read it through a couple of times to grok it. I agree with the others that this could use some fleshing out.
I could see the priests of Percepticus being the philosophers with those of Visax having more of a scientific bent.
Overall, a creative piece.
I'd like to know how they were made.
Plus: the Wealth God is stealing from one guy at a time, correct?
What I did not understand: those who can break the wealth transfer are those who currently suffer from the Orb of Poverty?
A bad idea it is to steal this gem.
Plot Hook-the PCs are hired by agents of one country to break into a huge bank vault of another country and place this inside it thus emptying tbhe valut and destroying the country's ecomony.
Simple, little flair, and a definite "Here's an idea to give to the annoying player who is greedy!" award.
Cheka had a good thought for a plot hook. How about one of the player character's picks the pocket of the owner of this unlucky gem thinking he is himself very lucky to have acquired it.
Or perhaps the players have been hired to frequent the locked stash of a local and grab a few of his belongings, one of which is the gem that they just can not get rid of. This could have not only the original owner after them but the one who hired them could also be after them for' not giving up the whole treasure so to speak.
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Go to CommentGood. That was the intent. :)