I quite like this submission, I imagine it as an excerpt in a game from a book or overheard in a classroom. I am particularly partial to the idea of the shadow having effects in the shadow realm which then translate to effects in the material realm. Solid work.
Ok major things I wish to learn more about...
Who is the Witch, or a witch as it seemed a title to me and not just a position.
The Fog of Rigor... very intriguing name...
The Conclave and the Blackened Church...
ll in all though... damn good job. Very colorful in flavor.
Intriguing to being with. As Dossta said it is an original take on a pantheon. It would be interesting if there were separate courts for the senses divided in their individual courts yet together in the pantheon by an odd form of harmony.
However, I would like more information on the parental gods as well as why Hyewmor took his mothers eyes and ate them. Was it to gain her unique sight or abilities? Or was it simply out of spite for looking at him differently than his two siblings?
I'll be the first to say that this is a really original pantheon, and I'm surprised that it works so well. However, I wish that Hyewmor was a little better defined. You tell us that he's the enemy of the rest of the Occular Court, but he's little different from any other "bad god" that I've seen in RPGs -- as far as I can tell, he's motivated purely by "teh Evuls".
I would have made him the god of blindness, expect that Opstiscus fills that roll so nicely. So perhaps he could be the god of false sight -- delusions, mirages, eye diseases and the like. Depicting him as completely and irrevocably insane would also jive a bit better with his actions after birth.
Remember that these are just my thoughts -- I truly don't want to detract from the pure originality of this piece. Right now, this is a solid 3 for me, with + .5 for pure creativity. Well done!
The format seems a little confusing. I had to read it through a couple of times to grok it. I agree with the others that this could use some fleshing out.
I could see the priests of Percepticus being the philosophers with those of Visax having more of a scientific bent.
Overall, a creative piece.