I really like the way you wrote this, with the back and forth between the scene and the description.
A suggestion: in the ancient world sexual imagery was not consider as taboo and tasteless as it is now. Romans consdiered the phallus to be a good luck charm, half of the cave paintings are off sexual scenes. Their are unavoidabe sexual over tones to this work. I am being serious, the God of Light is in many ways to defined by his sexuality. He is male and the counter part to the silver queen. A chaste sexuality, is an important part of the Gods' ethos. It will be hard to present and empowering staff which is both attractive and plants in those near it a desire to hold, with drawing some into making freudian connections. Again I am not saying that was your intent, but the theme is there. I am just saying in future works you may want to try and own the imagery of a powerful but restrained male sexuality.
I quite like the underlying concept. Execution is also solid. The itallic bits in particular do heighten the atmosphere well. However, this piece somehow left me logically impressed while its emotional content didn't seem to have come across much in the overall sense. In aggregate, I still think this is a decent piece, hence the median score.