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Imnoctum Novalumis
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2015-09-30 11:33 AM
Agree with Axle on this one. There is a lot of potential here!
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Imnoctum Novalumis
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Dossta's comment on 2010-10-04 02:59 PM
I like this, but wouldn't he be released from his curse the moment he meets a person who is truly chaotic evil? One who wouldn't care the slightest if everyone he ever knew was ground into dust? Go to Comment
Staff of The Golden King
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Heroic)
Cheka Man's comment on 2010-09-09 10:27 AM
It could be used in corinations as a test;an evil would be king would not be able to hold it. Go to Comment
Staff of The Golden King
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Heroic)
axlerowes's comment on 2010-10-23 12:42 PM


I really like the way you wrote this, with the back and forth between the scene and the description.  



 



A suggestion:  in the ancient world sexual imagery was not consider as taboo and tasteless as it is now.  Romans consdiered the phallus to be a good luck charm, half of the cave paintings are off sexual scenes.  Their are unavoidabe sexual over tones to this work. I am being serious, the God of Light is in many ways to defined by his sexuality.  He is male and the counter part to the silver queen.  A chaste sexuality, is an important part of the Gods' ethos.   It will be hard to present and empowering staff which is both attractive and plants in those near it a desire to hold, with drawing some into making freudian connections.  Again I am not saying that was your intent, but the theme is there.  I am just saying in future works you may want to try and own the imagery of a powerful but restrained male sexuality. 


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Staff of The Golden King
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Heroic)
valadaar's comment on 2016-11-07 11:04 AM
A nifty item, almost a parable.
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Staff of The Golden King
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Heroic)
olontur's comment on 2010-09-09 06:29 PM
An interesting item with some possibilities. The story around it could be polished up and the powers would need to be a bit more concrete.

Yet I think it's a very good seed.

And wow, seeing from the Sun's point of view, WOW!

:) Go to Comment
Staff of The Golden King
Items  (Wand/Staff/ Arcane)   (Heroic)
Dossta's comment on 2010-09-11 12:47 AM
I love both the imagery of the staff and of the Golden King himself. Is there a lore reason for the staff to illuminate family bonds? Or is it mostly just a plot device to help determine royal heirs? I also appreciate that the powers granted vary by individual -- you gave lots of good examples for a GM to draw from, but left some wiggle-room for tuning it to an individual party or NPC. Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Pieh's comment on 2010-08-27 11:26 PM
To address a few questions:

@Cheka - The toxin turns them into undead. Through magical corruption of living tissue, I would think. Their mind is damaged in the process but still works enough to move the body and such. Their souls would be subject to the same rules as any other undead in your setting.

@Mourn - The toxin acts quickly after entering their body. Over the course of a week they start to desire metal objects, finding it hard to resist the temptation to hold them and growing into obsession with licking metal eventually ending with full-blown pica, specifically concerning metal objects. By the time they succumb to the desire to eat metal, the transformation is complete and they can think of nothing else. They would be unaware of it happening.

And as a note, I am happy to announce this is my 100th Submission on Strolen's Citadel! Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Cheka Man's comment on 2010-08-27 08:39 PM
Why are they just mindless eating machines? Are their souls still in the dwarven afterlife? Did creating them shred their minds?Other then that, a great submission and very orginal. Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2010-08-27 10:39 PM
Ok.... first and foremost... the Rust Monster revised. I love it. A tad bit more information about them and why they are transformed completely would be nice. Such as, when infected with this necro toxin of sorts, do the dwarves immediately become an undead stealfeaster? Or is it a gradual thing where they are unaware of the change until it is to late?

Would they slowly succumb to the dreaded desire to feast on metals? Or do they die near instantly? Just food for thought. Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Murometz's comment on 2012-09-23 12:54 AM
Let me echo the others in conrgatulating you on a great new take on a rust monster. Undead to boot. And Dwarven! Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Murometz's comment on 2012-09-23 12:54 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
axlerowes's comment on 2012-09-23 05:25 PM
Yes! The Dwarves and the Necromancers can come together!

Overall a nice idea and as an idea I like it, I found your description to be complete and interesting. I do want to ask about tone and perspective. Who was writing this, who was the intended audience because the text seems to be pretty meta with regard to prespective. Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
valadaar's comment on 2010-09-02 07:56 PM
An awesome replacement for the rust monster. I'd add Rustcaller_Toxin as a related sub. One of these critters who used this poison would be really nasty. Go to Comment
Steelfeasters
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Underground)
Elbin's comment on 2013-05-29 03:24 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Lockzennites
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
valadaar's comment on 2015-01-19 10:53 AM


This seems to be a take on a Luddite, but to a greater extreme.



Given their tenants to shun both clothing and armor, are we to assume they are limited to tropical regions? Or are they gifted with some magic to keep from freezing to death?

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The Lockzennites
Society/ Organizations  (Religious)   (Regional)
Moonlake's comment on 2010-10-22 12:13 AM


I quite like the underlying concept. Execution is also solid. The itallic bits in particular do heighten the atmosphere well. However, this piece somehow left me logically impressed while its emotional content didn't seem to have come across much in the overall sense. In aggregate, I still think this is a decent piece, hence the median score.


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The Mirr of the Mirror-Folk
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-29 05:57 PM
Update: HUGE UPDATE! PLEASE REVOTE! Go to Comment
The Mirr of the Mirror-Folk
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
Pieh's comment on 2010-09-29 06:26 PM
Update: Another Update, just for you Outrider. Go to Comment
The Mirr of the Mirror-Folk
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Other)
Cheka Man's comment on 2010-08-27 05:29 PM
I don't think I could be nasty enough to shred the mind of one of these creatures. 5/5 Go to Comment
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