Fireball in a Bottle WARNING: Hold away from face and others when opening! Use caution near oxygen.
A fine wine made from the Fire Grapes that grow on vines that sprout from cracks in hot desert rocks without logical reason. The wine is made in the manner of most others, except care much be taken when crushing the grapes because their pulpy insides expell gasses that burst into flames when exposed to air. Once bottles and properly aged, the wine is about as alchoholic as most wines, having the same effect with intense "booze burn" or face reddening. The flavor of the wine is fruity, with a little spice.
The thing that makes it suitable for this scroll is that the juices never stop slowly producing that explosive gas, the quanities are small per grape, but when you have a bottle of them liquefied and sitting for a while.. You don't want to open it too close to your face. It shoots a stream of fire when uncorked, and explodes if a burst if the bottle is shattered. It is packeged with liberal amounts of warning labels and is very popular at weddings. Go to Comment
The Tankard Axe
Had to bring this one up from an old character. ;)
The tankard ax is at first glance a typical tankard of study dwarven design. A closer inspection reveals that the base has a stout socket with large threads inside. A bolted on cover extends from the socket to the base of the handle. The tankard axe comes with a collapsable staff that is threaded at the top to screw into the socket on the base of the tankard. A button about halfway down the staff retracts or extends the blade concealed in the handle of the tankard itself. This done via a set of small gears and strong springs. Thus a hard drinking dwarf with a penchant for bad bars can turn his trusty steel tankard and walking stick into a make-shift cudgel/axe weapon.
Obviously the Tankard Axe was inspired by the various rods and devices popular in second edition dungeons and dragons where staves and rods had activation studs, buttons, and all sorts of spring loaded whatzits. Go to Comment
This bottled beverage is noted for its glittery green glass. Barry's Brew comes shipped in straw-padded boxes. When broken, the glass fractures along even square lines, leaving few sharp edges, and nothing in a would-be brawler's hands except fragments. Go to Comment
This decaf blend is specially formulated (chemically or alchemically depending on the setting) to break down alcohol within the body faster. This is frequently purchased at the end of a night of revelry to make the trip home easier & safer. Unfortunately, Anti-brew Coffee can do nothing to stop the effects of a hang-over. In fact, it brings it on full-force as the alcohol burns out of your system.
This was intended to be a longer-lasting dartboard, one that wouldn't be chopped to bits after a few years of playing. They tried, but failed. It has many small holes pre-drilled into the very hard wood to catch & hold the darts. As the darts themselves didn't need to be sharp enough to stab the board, they were blunted, in theory making them much safer. The end result is a dartboard that deflects shots, either into an unwanted area, or bouncing off of the board completely. After years of such banging about, the darts are subtly bent, and do not throw very true. These factors combine to make for a very frustrating game. The more the shots fail, the harder the players throw them, and the angrier everyone becomes. Between loud curses shouted at the board, wild shots bounced into the crowd, and the general high frustration level, fights frequently break out. In some taverns, "Let's go play darts" has become a subtle substitute for, "Let's go outside (to fight)." Go to Comment
In games set in The Time Before Toilet Paper, refrigeration is lacking. This makes storage & transportation of beverages problematic, and skunky beer a common issue. As ales do not last as long as beer without cold storage, these problems are even worse for those drinks. To solve this, we have Evelyn's Ever-kept Cask. Through some strange science or magic, Evelyn designed a metal-wrapped cask that can preserve any beverage fresh & cold for an indefinite time--at least until it's tapped. The casks are refillable, but only Evelyn's brewery knows how to store drink within while keeping fresh. The casks--even if not the methods of creation & storing--have been sold for use by other breweries, making Evelyn's a more successful bottler than brewmaster. Go to Comment
This is a fair pool cue. It's far from tournament quality, but is okay for a friendly game in a pub. However, this stick is rarely--if ever--used for anything friendly. The Cue Stick of Beat-down is dark & very heavy. The colour is darkest near the tip, and unevenly gets lighter towards the base. This isn't by design; this is due to it being smacked upside many heads, with grease, sweat, blood, and hair-care products smeared on the wood as a result. The wood is snakewood (Piratinera guianensis), and brass inlays decorate the handle. By this point in its existence, the Cue Stick of Beat-down is not easily screwed or unscrewed for easy assembly or disassembly, but that just means the owner has an excuse not to mess around with it, and can start swinging it at someone as soon as he walks into the bar. Go to Comment
Thunk big. Thunk strong. Thunk heavy. Lady all love Thunk best. Thunk made of glass.
Thunk is the name of a particular large, heavy, glass mug. It is as tall as a man's forearm is long, and weighs nearly two kilograms. For some reason, some beneficial quirk of construction, the glass does not break--or even chip--even when great force is applied. From years of being slammed down on the bar, to falling to the floor as someone passes out while holding it, Thunk has survived intact. Thunk's current bar-of-residence has a special offer. Anyone who can down Thunk in one pass is allowed to use Thunk for the evening, with refills for the price of a regular draft. He or she is also allowed to refer to themselves as Thunk, and speak as indicated in the above paragraph. Go to Comment
Not all bars can afford all that Fancy Furniture, and it's a rare occasion for a wizard to imbue a barstool with sentience. It's entirely common, however, for barstools to be enchanted for nigh-unbreakable durability. Such a barstool doesn't shatter and splinter when used to teach some smarmy adventurer a rough lesson in manners. Go to Comment
Crafted outta the finest ironwood, and ensorcelled to withstand the greatest blows, this seat just begs to be sat on. Given a crude intelligence one day by a drunken mage, this stool rages against it's sedentary existance and seeks to create excitement, of any kind. In addition to it's rather mundane ability to take the weight of even the heaviest and toughest adventurers, this stool also can project it's feelings and thoughts into the minds of those around it, gaining more and more power as those around it become increasingly inebriated.
Pretty soon it'll be "slipping" on the booze wet floor and causing people to trip around it, and when they fall it'll project into them to make them even more angry, hoping to stir up a nice and simple brawl. However, if you manage to ply the seat with a few drinks, it'll soon turn into a blubbering wreck and tell you its life story... "I wanted to be a sword when I grew up, but NOOOO, that wizard had to make me into a stool."
- Nigh Unbreakable
- Mildly Intelligent
- Slightly Animate Go to Comment
Said to be made in hidden stills deep in the mountain caves, with equal parts blood and corn, it isn't in fact the alchohol in these bottles that make this brew famous, but the bottles themselves. Through some perverse magics, these bottles have been made so that, if they are broken in the hand's of a sentient, they cannot be dropped unless if the lifeblood of a sentient has been spilled.
Needless to say these brews are banned in any sane city, village, hamlet, thorp, or metropolis, but lone bottles have their way of finding themselves being served under other names, and with different tastes. Go to Comment
Back when the barkeep served in the wars, he picked up his bizarre foreign weapon: "Ol' Betsy", the repeating crossbow he keeps under the bar. This cumbersome device has a removable magazine designed to hold five bolts and a complex mechanism of springs and gears to ease the tension on the string, enabling the powerful device to be quickly cocked again after firing.
The whole bizarre contraption requires almost as much care as the bartender's handlebar moustache, so the bar's regular patrons are used to the sight of Ol' Betsy laid out on the bar while the bartender services and oils his intricate weapon. Go to Comment
Fun and imaginative. Some of these items are a little silly, but perfect for a little light hearted fun after a grueling adventure, or just for those off nights when the gm has little more planned then "a random bar scene." Go to Comment