OK - in of itself a fun little balm with plenty of potential for creating plot complications - kudos for that
One big question though - Why do the Wild Elves made this stuff?
After all it's quite difficult to make (how do you ensure that your goat eats only the right plants and nothing else), and it takes a long time (goats can live for several years). So what do the elves get in return?
Pretty good but downgraded it a little because it's hard to see why it would be made?
No, I don't really think of it as one of the shards of the Storm, it is more a 'remenant' of the Blades of the Mad One. When hey shattered they kinda disintigrated and evaporated, forming the Desert/Madlands. The rest of the potion is to slow, if not stop the madness that sets in after drinking the water that flows through the lands.
I had this idea flying around the back of my mind for a while but couldn't ever think of a way to make it make sense, when I reread the Shards of he Storm/Desert of Divine Despair threads I kinda figured out what I was missing.
Why do the Wild Elves made this stuff? Because they're elves, they have a rather low breeding rate and when one of their hunters gets gored on the hunt they need a way to heal him without having to drag one of their healers around with them all the time. They know the side effects of drinking from the waters that flow through the madlands and as such only use them sparingly, and even then only in a diluted form. Go to Comment
It feels a little under-developed, but it's basically solid. A false eye with the essence of a god implanted in it becomes a pale reflection of the eye of that god, especially since it must be a small, and thus 'weak' shard - But what inspires a person to put a sword-tip in an eye? Go to Comment
Bleh. Underdeveloped is right. I think I might've thought of this about 1130 to 12 at night, and typed it up then. No notes on this sucker anywhere, which means it got developed for a total of 10, maybe 15 seconds. Okay, I'm guessing that it would be because he could feel the power emenating off of it, figured out the it was a piece of one of Her swords, and figured that this would help his brother, maybe even allow him to 'see' out of the glass eye. Go to Comment
I love the name! Eye of the Pig invokes horror/terror, before you even begin reading it. I wish the details were a bit expanded on as others have mentioned. Also, I realize and understand that this is part of the Shards of the Storm Quest, but I feel that if it was a stand alone item, and its powers were radically different, leaning towards something more sinister, this would have been AWESOME! Go to Comment
I can't wait to do something like this to my heroes. They'll be real happy when their flintlocks and crossbows get sopping wet from being flung into the mud. In fact, I don't even know if they'll be able to escape. Go to Comment
If such punishment as this prison system is common enough to be accepted by the peasantry and middleclass of a kingdom, it is likely that this land will be rife with power hungry corruption at the top of the systems structure. Informants might be pretty common as well, "better them than you." A criminal might rat out just anyone to not be caged in that bog.
I like this. A lot.
It's easy to adapt to a special setting or world. A good base for adding details.
Okay, Zy. a bog is not nessacarily warm in winter. This would be further north if you're going to be getting at the -5 at midday. A bog would only be a 'bog' about half the year then. In the winter you'd have frost going down into the ground a good ways, and probably permafrost a bit deeper. On the digging during summer, when it is wet and soggy. You ever try to dig a hole in a lake bottom? The water will fill it in, and a bog is a lot of standing water. The farthest down you could probably dig before you hit the water level would be 6 in. Then your pulling more water out of the hole than substrate.
Ill work on the penal system and pos it. As well as fix stuff to this sucker. Go to Comment
Who is in charge of administering this justice? Who does sentencing, who guards people while they build their own prison? Can people not dig out? (If my choices were try to dig out of earth or stand still in swamp I know which I would choose. And by nature a swamp should be easy to dig through. And the worst that could happen is you die trying... oh well!) Why is it so cold in winter? Swamps are usually pretty warm, and especially buried in a bioactive pit it should be quite 'comfortable', if wet, in winter unless there is a special weather system. I like the general idea, but wish it were fleshed out more. Go to Comment