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Hyrizi Dragon
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2008-10-09 03:11 AM
I like this - I can really see this thing evolving

All of the powers are believable and logical

Flight is not strictly necessary for a jungle scavanger but might well have evolved in an earlier, more predetory, form

Highly corrosive stomach acids made some sense - a scavanger must make use of any possible food source, no matter how apparently unappetising

Such acid also makes an effective weapon, although depleting its' stomach acids in this way would reduce the creatures' ability to digest its food, so the attack would be used only at times of dire need

And, as manfred suggested, it would need to protect its' meals so it might well be instinctively aggressive

Nicely done Pariah - a good solid post - 4/5 Go to Comment
Hyrizi Dragon
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Pariah's comment on 2006-02-24 10:48 PM
Ohh, right... The toxin is only used as a last resort type thing. They aren't hunters, usually, and only use it when they can't run away from something.

Muro, about the jungle. Hyrizi is an primodial jungle, and so, 'blah blah blah.' To paraphrase the trees are really tall and block out the sun for a good 50 ft above the ground. More than enough room to fly.

Yeah. I'm doing another little bit about the actual human fighting unit of the war. The ones that learned first hand what hese babies can be trained to do. Go to Comment
Hyrizi Dragon
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Murometz's comment on 2006-02-24 10:22 PM
flying must be tough if they are that sensitive to light no?, but I can picture these suckers tearing into somebody, so I like. And I like the flesh rotting saliva. KOMODO STYLE!

maybe throw in a blurb too, you know something like

"Sir!, I think I see some movement in the trees"
"Shut up and keep a tight formation soldier" Go to Comment
Hyrizi Dragon
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Forest/ Jungle)
Arminas's comment on 2006-02-24 10:24 PM
Good stuff, sounds like it might be a nice thing to have for a pet, but... watch the spit, huh? Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-31 09:54 PM
They don't believe in fighting fair, but they think archery to be cowardly? To quote an Italian proverb, the Best Armor is to be out of range. Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-31 09:54 PM
Only voted Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-03-22 02:55 PM
A treat a treat! How rare it is for a submission to be edited to answer discrepancies. The rewrite of the Kazi's personal view of missle weapons, as well as backstabbing and assassination work well with their basic concept.

Yr sees you. Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-03-22 02:56 PM
updated vote Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-01-31 09:23 PM
What about the peredators that have the names of Italien chocolates? Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2006-02-07 09:54 AM
Weapons are awesome for sketching out a culture. I think this was handled rather nicely +above.
Looking forward to more of this. Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2006-02-01 08:51 AM
Ignoring for a moment the inconsistency regarding the use of missile weapons (so eloquently pointed out by Scras), this is actually quite good. With only two simple weapons you have managed to hint an entire culture.

Would give it 4 but -1/2 because the missile use inconsistency irks me somewhat - so 3½ / 5 Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Pariah's comment on 2006-02-01 03:56 PM
Okay, I worded that badly. They don't fight by the same rules as everyone else does. Where other cultures would view it as taboo to attack a ma when hes down, chivilry after all, they view the act of falling down as a weakness, and as such it must be cleansed (ie killed). Insetead of chivilry they think that if you can't see the fear in your enemy's eyes you are commiting a sin. That's why they ahbor backstabbing and ranged weaponry, they're sign of the heathens and their god's.

When my current deluge of ideas is done Ill go back and fix as many of hese minor inconsistencies as I can. As it is I have about 15 ideas backed up into my head tha Im sturggling to get on paper/make presentable. Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Pariah's comment on 2006-03-21 10:46 PM
Updated: I hope that covers all the discrepancies... Go to Comment
Kazi Weapons
Items  (Equipment Listing)   (Non-Magical)
Murometz's comment on 2006-05-21 10:35 PM
Love the detail P! Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
manfred's comment on 2006-02-15 05:35 AM
Actually, that could be slightly metaphorical - the command speaks generically of The Old And Wise - and since all the older males could have been father, you've got to show respect to all of them, buddy!

Aside: anyone that is so old as to have adult grandchildren is of a venerable age, and should he keep to the commandments, then he will be wise as skillful - a source of wisdom for the young ones. Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2006-02-02 07:17 PM
Now everybody chill.. Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
MoonHunter's comment on 2006-02-02 01:11 PM
Can you link all these up. Sure we can follow the freetext, but not everyone knows how to do that. Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
Scrasamax's comment on 2006-01-31 09:51 PM
Not bad, a very Pagan sun-god whose demands echo with the sound of the God of the Old Testament. Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
Cheka Man's comment on 2006-01-31 09:21 PM
Very Old Testamentish. I like the abyss idea of Hell. Go to Comment
Yr, the Flaming Sun
Systems  (Divine/ Spirit)   (Specific)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2006-02-01 09:26 AM
Small inconsistency with the race write-up:

In the write-up for the Kazi race - "The Kazi have no wives, instead sharing the women of the tribe among themselves and their guests. Because of this family lineage is not tracked through the father but through the mother"

Here, in the write-up for their god - "Honour your father's father and your mother's mother, in them is the truth"

How could they honour their father's father when they do not keep track of paternal parentage, and indeed cannot do so since, giving their mating practices, no individual can know who his father is?

A law demanding the honour of maternal parentage is fine, it helps to cement the tribe and define who is "one of the tribe", but demanding paternal honour makes no sense.

You need to change either the culture or the rule - personally I would suggest changing the rule and leaving the culture alone

Apart from that this is extremely good - 4/5 Go to Comment
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