An interseting and useful creature. You seem to have a strong picture of the critters in your head that is not shared with us. I think the write up could of been a bit more fleshed out. A few more details on how they interact with each other, their environment, and their food. I think that would be useful. Go to Comment
Interesting, but there is only one problem that I can see and that is that scavengers are typically not aggressive, considering that their primary source of food is already dead.
A second question, why is the toxin so corrosive? If it is a regular part of their digestive system, it would be stomach acid and not horribly hard to produce, while if it is a defensive weapon, that might be more apt. Go to Comment
I like this - I can really see this thing evolving
All of the powers are believable and logical
Flight is not strictly necessary for a jungle scavanger but might well have evolved in an earlier, more predetory, form
Highly corrosive stomach acids made some sense - a scavanger must make use of any possible food source, no matter how apparently unappetising
Such acid also makes an effective weapon, although depleting its' stomach acids in this way would reduce the creatures' ability to digest its food, so the attack would be used only at times of dire need
And, as manfred suggested, it would need to protect its' meals so it might well be instinctively aggressive
Ohh, right... The toxin is only used as a last resort type thing. They aren't hunters, usually, and only use it when they can't run away from something.
Muro, about the jungle. Hyrizi is an primodial jungle, and so, 'blah blah blah.' To paraphrase the trees are really tall and block out the sun for a good 50 ft above the ground. More than enough room to fly.
Yeah. I'm doing another little bit about the actual human fighting unit of the war. The ones that learned first hand what hese babies can be trained to do. Go to Comment
A treat a treat! How rare it is for a submission to be edited to answer discrepancies. The rewrite of the Kazi's personal view of missle weapons, as well as backstabbing and assassination work well with their basic concept.
Ignoring for a moment the inconsistency regarding the use of missile weapons (so eloquently pointed out by Scras), this is actually quite good. With only two simple weapons you have managed to hint an entire culture.
Would give it 4 but -1/2 because the missile use inconsistency irks me somewhat - so 3½ / 5 Go to Comment
Okay, I worded that badly. They don't fight by the same rules as everyone else does. Where other cultures would view it as taboo to attack a ma when hes down, chivilry after all, they view the act of falling down as a weakness, and as such it must be cleansed (ie killed). Insetead of chivilry they think that if you can't see the fear in your enemy's eyes you are commiting a sin. That's why they ahbor backstabbing and ranged weaponry, they're sign of the heathens and their god's.
When my current deluge of ideas is done Ill go back and fix as many of hese minor inconsistencies as I can. As it is I have about 15 ideas backed up into my head tha Im sturggling to get on paper/make presentable. Go to Comment
Actually, that could be slightly metaphorical - the command speaks generically of The Old And Wise - and since all the older males could have been father, you've got to show respect to all of them, buddy!
Aside: anyone that is so old as to have adult grandchildren is of a venerable age, and should he keep to the commandments, then he will be wise as skillful - a source of wisdom for the young ones. Go to Comment