Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2007-10-31 09:00 AM
Well well, an excellent take on a steam-punk zombie - I do like it.

How do normal human workers react to these 'machines' stealing their jobs? Are there Luddites out there who try and sabotage the zombies by damaging the sigils? Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2007-11-01 07:02 AM
Angle brackets are the magic - I can't type then in here, but replace ( with them and it will work.

(b)Stuff to make Bold(/b)
(i)Stuff to Italize(/i)
(small)Stuff to make small(/small)

There are other HTML tags supported, but some are hit and miss :P Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
dark_dragon's comment on 2007-11-07 11:34 AM
Zombies and various undead are cool, but the deaders Rock! An excellent take on undeads, which makes sense. The plot hooks are great too. Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Stephie's comment on 2007-11-01 10:20 AM
This is great! I love zombies! Well done! Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-10-31 08:00 AM
Zombies of a steam-fantasy setting - Obviously inspired by the Remaking the Undead and Undead Economy subs. Plot hooks and some minor detail still to be added. Enjoy! /David Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-10-31 08:45 AM
Updated: Some spelling errors corrected Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-10-31 09:01 AM
Nice idea for a plot hook, valadaar...Thanks! Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-01 05:45 AM
Updated: Added "Plot Hooks" and corrected some minor spelling errors. If anyone knows how to make boldface, please drop me a PM. I'm still learning....:-) Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-01 05:52 AM
This is one of these ideas that pop out at 4 o´clock in the morning.... I´ve been kicking it around for a while, used it a bit in my stories, but never really expanded the idea before now. I believe it all started when I watched a show about mummies on Discovery, where the poor were preserved not by regular mummification, but by simply covering the body in tar.

/David Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-01 07:11 AM
Updated: Boldface headlines added (Thanks valadaar..) Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-01 10:08 AM
Hi Murometz, and thank you. Locastus (as Im sure you´ve figured out) is the central setting for my submissions. I feel I sort of have to work my way up to that post of posts. But its coming... I just need to set the stage for myself a bit first. Next up is the Bloated Moon, persona non grata and inofficial ruler of Locastus... Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Ouroboros's comment on 2013-04-17 08:23 AM
The thought behind this comes from the original zombie idea of an undead servant (which is not unlike the original Golem idea). I thought, why construct something with complex articulated joints and hinges when the perfect starting material, ie corpses, are already available in large numbers (especially in a Dickensian London-like setting). Adds a nice twist of cynic utilitarianism too, I think... "Your body belongs to the State, even after you stop inhabiting it"
Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Grey's comment on 2008-07-26 11:14 PM
I HAVE to use this. It's just bloody fantastic. Everything else has pretty well been said, but that's the bottom line. Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Gossamer's comment on 2013-04-17 07:58 AM
A beautifully executed submission. The only thing that is giving me pause is; by coating the undead in asphalt, you are removing all visual aspects that would identify them as undead. And so they might as well just be golems, why use dead bodies in the first place, unless golem technology is unavailable in this setting. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
manfred's comment on 2007-10-29 12:58 PM
Glad to see a lurker turn into a poster.

I must say one thing though: I find it ironical that those, who ask for tolerance in the matters of grammar often have a definitely clean writing style. (In other words, well-written. :) )


Back to the submission: the idea is very logical - the gift of magic is often not available to everyone - and well executed. It is perfectly reasonable, that many would dare to try their luck, even with such a horrible price to pay. As I was reading it, questions came to me, and were immediately answered, I like that style.


Thoughts:

- Could there be a similar way to increase the talent of existing wizards, making them greatly powerful? Even if there isn't, somebody will try...

- I would expect, that the contract was signed _before_ the experiment - or there are actually two contracts, signed before and after, both part of a ritual that binds the subjects to their words.

- You can bet that there will be someone created with an unusual talent, that the Clinic is not able to contain right away... who will catch the fugitive, before the word gets out?


I'm not sure if I would use it, but thanks to the ideas presented here I can certainly think about it. All in all, a solid first submission! Great work, Ouroboros. Welcome to the fold. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
manfred's comment on 2007-10-29 03:13 PM
Ahh, China Mieville! Now that you mention him, the influence is clear.

And I wouldn't call this a wayward idea (okay, it may be, but we can have great fun with wayward ideas). My point is, it is definitely usable, and not only in that particular setting.

In most settings with magic is the genuine talent rare and valued - and this is a solid option people may consider to explore. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Siren no Orakio's comment on 2007-10-30 04:14 PM
Indeed, well painted.

As mentioned above, I could use this, or a derivative, in a number of settings, up to and including the one I run most often... which is the Shadowrun fantasy/cyberpunk blend. There would have to be alterations to the fine details, ramp up the failure rate, despite a medium magic world, and probably cranial bombs, but, y'know, it can be used just about anywhere you'd want to be a mage and aren't. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-10-30 02:18 AM
Well, my comments have been pretty well covered by the above comments. All I can add is good work. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-10-29 01:54 PM
Obviously for a world where magic is very rare. Go to Comment
The Rite of Greater Induction
Systems  (Mystical)   (General)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2007-10-29 01:59 PM
I think that this is a great first-submission indeed. One thing though, after the "experiment"- Have they gained the potential to become mages with the studies it involves, or are they automatically spellcasters?

I noticed that the style was somewhat dry, but I think it suited the post well. I still had a vivid imagery while reading it. The Tank was a horror-like and dark touch in my opinion. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
466

Join Now!!




Fatal error: Call to undefined function top_menu() in /home/strolen/public_html/lockmor/application/views/citadel/vfooter.php on line 2