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The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Maggot's comment on 2007-11-02 07:57 AM
I enjoyed reading this a lot! She's the only thing that keeps the spirtis of the dream world from wrecking havoc on a city that has sprung around the mysterious gate-way into the world of dreams. What is there not to like? Kudos on that dark, gothic spirit that you have infused both this NPC with as wel as the mysterious, gloomy world she inhabits. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-11-03 03:16 AM
I love it, from top to bottom, the symbolism, the well of dreams, the codependence of the Moon and Locastus, and even her humble beginings. Kudos Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-11-02 11:00 AM
All of your submissions are good. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2007-11-02 09:43 AM
It invoked memories of "Planescape" and that woman in Sigil, whose name I no longer remember. That is good. There are too few personas like these here at the Citadel!

Well written and good grammar! (being a european I know how hard it is to match the grammar of these UK/US whiz kids!)

If you want to boost your score, well, let me tell you: Bold headlines and paragraphing goes a long way. Believe me! You have done fine in that regard, but for mastery you should study the user "valadaar". He is a masterful teacher of that art.

While I was one of the original proponents for plot hooks I think it is perfectly fine you don't include any. I love playtesting notes.

Too bad it didn't work out. By the way: Evil GMs are really GMs that want to challenge their players to rise to the occasion and excel. When, or IF the players do that the sessions become legends in themselves, memorable and with time nearly mythical. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ancient Gamer's comment on 2007-11-02 09:47 AM
Oh, and I LOVE the name "The Bloated Moon". LOVE IT! Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Murometz's comment on 2007-11-03 11:36 AM
okay, AG trumped me on the first and foremost comment i was going to make. The name, Bloated Moon, for an NPC, and particularly for an NPC of this caliber, is simply stupendous. I drool.

Her story and the delicious detail puts this over the top for me. A great world unfurls before us, and we have certainly taken notice, David.

Great work! Just great.

Get going on Locastus entry! :) Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Murometz's comment on 2008-12-13 07:07 PM
So lovely. The sorceress of Locastus! Her tale is a captivating one, David. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
valadaar's comment on 2007-11-02 08:53 AM
Well, we got ourselves a great new poster! A little long, but then again it is good so no problem there.

Have had theives world on the brain lately, and she reminds me of the type of entity of Tempus or Ischade level. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Stephie's comment on 2007-11-02 09:16 AM
Great work! Very enjoyable read. Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-01 09:19 PM
I´m throwing this one out there, not quite, but mostly complete. This is a big one, and partly more story than NPC. If any of you think that does not belong on this site, please let me know and I´ll remove it.

Plot hooks, some links to as yet unfinished stuff and some final tinkering to be done. For now I need to distance myself for a day or so before I can come back to it.

Enjoy!

/David Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-02 05:32 AM
Updated: OK, added the last bit. I´m not adding plot hooks to this sub, instead I decided on some playtesting anecdotes. I hope you´ll enjoy it!

/David Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
Ouroboros's comment on 2007-11-02 09:07 AM
The Moon was inspired by equal parts The Lady of Pain from Planescape and Empress Laseen from The Malazan Book of the Fallen. I do think that a solid backstory is necessary to understand motivations and so on. Quirks are important, but only when you present the reason for a character having them. I LIKE quirks...:-)

One thing I´ve never learnt to create is weak female characters. Dunno why, but I just cant do it - they all turn out to be tough. My damsels in distress turn around on their own volition and kicks their kidnappers in the nuts. Sometimes I think it would be nice if they asked me first if they could do that...:-)

/David Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
angryscotsman93's comment on 2009-02-05 05:13 PM
Huh, when I first started reading your entries related to the Bloated Moon, I had always imagined it as some sinister supernatural force operating outside of our corporeal plane. Ah, well: this is still awesome. Excellent work! Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
RGTraynor's comment on 2011-03-25 01:54 AM


One of the truly amazing subs of this entire site, and that's saying something.  Vivid, evocative, creative.


Go to Comment
The Bloated Moon
NPCs  (Scenario Based)   (Mystical)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-03-26 09:48 PM


Excellent. Wonderful language that paints a thoroughly engaging picture.


Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
manfred's comment on 2007-10-31 08:19 PM
An interesting take on the economically usable undead. Linked to the Economy post now. It's also interesting to note that they are not actually undead... more like golemic creatures; guess that should make them safer. :)

Based on their very thorough way of preparation, they are not necessarily cheap, but should make a good long-term investment. The economical side in particualt is well explored, I like that!

(Oh, and: don't be afraid to use some bold on the titles.) Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
MoonHunter's comment on 2008-02-13 04:10 PM
How could I have missed this one? We have robots/undead that have a well defined process and a place in their society.

It seems that these things were accepted into the world without a fuss (mostly because these undead are not grusome). Bodies are used as a resource. It does have a magi-punk and steam punk sort of vibe. This world is moving into modernity.

Plot Hook:
Someone creates a crown/ helmet that allows one to "project themselves" into a deader. Using a specially created Deader as a remote drone, new and dangerous places can be explored by the human operator. So now "armchair exploration" is now in vogue.

Someone sets up a set of deaders for you to take "vacations" in scenic places, with the deader moving around for you.. controlled by someone thousands of miles away. Thus you could walk around the Grand Canyon one afternoon, and never leave you home.

Now, the remote concept allows for tourbots. It also could be used for "entertainment purposes". Thus we could have "funny events" with deaders tap dancing and so on. If you make them asthetically pretty (Sorajama-esk) or like a statue, you could use them as exotic dancers, singers, and so on, with people controlling them remotely (or just getting better glyphs). However, how about steam car races (which are probably too dangerous for real drivers)? Gladatorial combat is possible to? Now you can experience real combat, from the comfort of your own lounge chair. Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
MoonHunter's comment on 2008-02-13 04:11 PM
Plot Hooks
Someone invents a yellow crystal that allows you to override most people's control over a deader. They now use them for some criminal activities. Perhaps they will just take over the city with an Deader army of hijacked Deaders.

A malific being has come to the world. In the begining, it can only "possess" a single deader. Thus it creates mayham as it can.

1+1=2: The malific being (or a horde of them) have come to the world. They take over the Deaders and begin making the world into a charnal house of horror.

How do you stop this?

(My favorite sci-fi plot, robot revolt) Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-10-31 11:57 AM
Are the bodies of the rich cremated to avoid that fate? Go to Comment
Deaders - a different take on Zombies
Lifeforms  (Constructed)   (Any)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2007-11-01 04:44 AM
Bold headlines, and plot hooks are really missed. And perhaps a few lines more to wrap it up after the destroy paragraph.
Other than that... AWESOME!

This is a really great idea that is splendidly executed.
How did you come up with it? Any inspiration? I have never heard of anything similiar. This I will use in a game! Count on it! Go to Comment
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