Very nicely done. Well presented. It includes everything you need. It is complete in detail, with lots of implied information to give you direction for other things. I thought the biotech was a nice touch, though kind of tacked on at the end, and not really mentioned before. Go to Comment
i would switch the glow-orbs gas to hydrogen rather than helium, mostly based on the assumption that I dont know a way that an organism could come into possession of enough helium to float itself, whereas hydrogen works, and is very easy to come by.
Nice work, but I can see LOTS of folk wanting to get chop chop stab stab on the Broan. I do feel rather sorry for them, but like to know more aobut where they came from and why they are refugees. Go to Comment
Scras - I have had the hydrogen v/s helium discussion once before, when I did a write-up at orionsarm.com many moons ago. The helium thingie is actually taken from real life - there´s some little floating kelp or something that can scavenge helium from the atmosphere. Even so, hydrogen might be better from a narrative point of view - it can explode, and that might be a fun thing to do.... Oh, and the real origins of the Broan will be revealed in time - whenever I get off my arse to write that book.... :-)
Captain - Mieville is one of my greatest inspirations, and I love the feel of weirdness in his books. I´ve tried to incorporate as much of that flavour as possible without plagiarizing or becoming too bizarre. Mieville´s setting (while absolutely brilliant) is just a bit too much out there to provide a good foundation for things like believable politics and human motivations. I wanted the Broan to look monstrous, nightmarish, but function under the same basic rules as any intelligent being - looking for safety, forming a base of food and production and so on... Go to Comment
Okay, this is splendid! It really is, and highly usable as well! Even though it's a Locastus submission a GM will only have to do some minor adjustments to make this work. Torodak was a highly enjoyable write-up, as was the vivid descriptions of the tavern and the area.
I'll give you this compliment: I can read your work all day and never grow bored. And yes, as val said, everyone loves a well-detailed dive. You evoke just the right "feel" with every sub. I can smell and taste this place.
I think you got the feel you were looking for, the only thing missing being a vast amount of distance between production and consumption, so that the drug users have no real concept of what it takes for them to get their hit of honey.
I linked this to Tobbacos, Ingridients and mind altering herbs. Fantasy often does a poor job in making "new" drugs. There is nothing special- "So, the powder is red instead of white, big deal!"
But this has it; background, a thourough write-up, an eye for details and so on. Nothing stands out as being GREAT, but all in all I see this as a very solid drug submission.
Lethal doses of the refined product is less than a teaspoon? Is it not possible then, that enough stings from the ochre honey bees can be lethal as well? Just asking;) Go to Comment