Once again, like from all your Locastus submissions, I'm feeling strong but pleasant echoes of New Crobuzon and China Mieville's Bas-Lag. I like the Broan, especially because they are just the right spot on the continuum between race-so-mundane-its-boring and race-so-bizarre-its-unusable Go to Comment
Very nicely done. Well presented. It includes everything you need. It is complete in detail, with lots of implied information to give you direction for other things. I thought the biotech was a nice touch, though kind of tacked on at the end, and not really mentioned before. Go to Comment
i would switch the glow-orbs gas to hydrogen rather than helium, mostly based on the assumption that I dont know a way that an organism could come into possession of enough helium to float itself, whereas hydrogen works, and is very easy to come by.
Nice work, but I can see LOTS of folk wanting to get chop chop stab stab on the Broan. I do feel rather sorry for them, but like to know more aobut where they came from and why they are refugees. Go to Comment
Scras - I have had the hydrogen v/s helium discussion once before, when I did a write-up at orionsarm.com many moons ago. The helium thingie is actually taken from real life - there´s some little floating kelp or something that can scavenge helium from the atmosphere. Even so, hydrogen might be better from a narrative point of view - it can explode, and that might be a fun thing to do.... Oh, and the real origins of the Broan will be revealed in time - whenever I get off my arse to write that book.... :-)
Captain - Mieville is one of my greatest inspirations, and I love the feel of weirdness in his books. I´ve tried to incorporate as much of that flavour as possible without plagiarizing or becoming too bizarre. Mieville´s setting (while absolutely brilliant) is just a bit too much out there to provide a good foundation for things like believable politics and human motivations. I wanted the Broan to look monstrous, nightmarish, but function under the same basic rules as any intelligent being - looking for safety, forming a base of food and production and so on... Go to Comment
Okay, this is splendid! It really is, and highly usable as well! Even though it's a Locastus submission a GM will only have to do some minor adjustments to make this work. Torodak was a highly enjoyable write-up, as was the vivid descriptions of the tavern and the area.
I'll give you this compliment: I can read your work all day and never grow bored. And yes, as val said, everyone loves a well-detailed dive. You evoke just the right "feel" with every sub. I can smell and taste this place.
I think you got the feel you were looking for, the only thing missing being a vast amount of distance between production and consumption, so that the drug users have no real concept of what it takes for them to get their hit of honey.