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Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Kassil's comment on 2008-10-25 06:19 PM
The image that strikes me the most is the clockwork on the belt; shades of the Probable Sword from The Scar, but wholly redone and quite well-made. I am solidly impressed with this gadget and think it fits well into just about any steampunk setting. Quite well-done, sir! Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Kassil's comment on 2008-11-02 09:52 PM
I, for one, would be sorely disappointed if you weren't able to produce something. In my opinion, of all of us here, you most perfectly capture the essence of the steampunk genre in your submissions. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Kassil's comment on 2008-11-02 09:55 PM
I might have to track down Iron Council at some point; I've read the other two, although I admit some components of his writing put me off a bit. I keep looking at Kuramen, and feeling that there's still too much of a classical fantasy influence to it, while Locastus has, to me, a much purer steampunk vibe to it.

Maybe I should compare notes with you at some point... Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Scrasamax's comment on 2008-10-06 12:41 PM
I'm not sure what I can add that hasnt been stated already, i like the chewy thaumotechnology, and the presentation is top notch. I heartily approve sir. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-04 03:00 PM
An Electro-Mace, a super-tazer. Well done. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Cheka Man's comment on 2008-10-31 05:30 PM
What a pity that this was not done for the Steampunk competition that will soon take place. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Cheka Man's comment on 2010-01-09 12:10 PM
Why is the writing so tiny?? Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2008-10-05 10:40 AM
So here it is. The lightning wreathed lance that put me off in your introduction of the Traghax post:)I will have to read this once more before I can vote though. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-10-05 01:17 PM
Magi-tech for the win! One of my greatest loves is when I'm reading the description of how something works, especially in a sci-fi novel, or even in fantasy. This sort of steam-punk amalgam is beautiful, and while the description of how it works might be a bit over the top for most people, I think it just adds to the overall work itself, and makes it more enjoyable to read than just a description of, "a magical mace that becomes light as a feather when activated, but is heavy when deactivated and lasts only for a short while before needing to recharge."

Excellent idea here, and it has inspired me to explore the world of steam-punk and magical technology a bit. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Chaosmark's comment on 2008-10-05 01:19 PM
I realized upon further thought that my initial vote truly didn't express how good I think this is. I consider this to fully be a 5/5 submission, and encourage others to try to make something this interesting and thought-out. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Dozus's comment on 2008-10-07 09:44 PM
Steampunk mace! (Well, more complicated than that, but that's the image I get) I love it! Imaginative, well-written, well explained, great imagery. Overall an excellent job. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
valadaar's comment on 2008-10-04 07:19 PM
Well done Ouroboros! I do like this item!


I don't read it as electrical Cheka, just a weapon of nearly pure inertia. I could see such weapons designed to deliver their impact at less then 30G in order to launch the target without smashing it. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Wulfhere's comment on 2008-10-05 03:55 PM
As all Ouroboros' submissions are, this is very well presented! I particularly liked the nice, chewy pseudotechnical gobbledigook: It gives plenty of ideas for extrapolating from the original idea. I also enjoyed the mace's clockwork magic.

One of these days I'll use these... Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ouroboros's comment on 2008-10-05 11:27 AM
Nah, this is the cousin of that weapon... I´m still not sure if I want to do a thunderbolt-shootig lance submission.. That has been done before, but this is more original, I think.. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Ouroboros's comment on 2008-10-31 02:46 PM
Yup, this is inspired by Uther Dohl´s Possible sword... China Miéville is a genius at giving fantasy clichés a spin, and Dohl and his sword (and the concept of possibility mining) is one of his best, genius, pure and simple.

For those of you that have no idea of what Im talking about, go and read The Scar by Miéville. Really, it should be required reading for anyone aspiring to write fantasy. Read Perdido Street Station and Iron Council while you´re at it! I even liked his UnLunDun, even though its more of a children´s book..

More Locastus stuff will materialize shortly!

Thank you all for your kind comments,

/David Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
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Ouroboros's comment on 2008-11-01 05:02 PM
Guess I have myself to blame for suggesting it...:-) I dare say I might be able to trot something out for our new quest.

Happy hallowen, everyone!!

/David Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
Netlander's comment on 2008-10-05 02:07 PM
I wholeheartedly agree. One of the mainstays of this site, and what attracted me here in the first place, isn't just the "what it does", it's the "why does it do it"? I love the explanations, and this one is done well. Go to Comment
Dirge Mace
Items  (Melee Weapons)   (Combat)
MysticMoon's comment on 2011-11-23 01:44 PM


Excellent. When it comes to this genre I think technical descriptions are a must. What is the point of such different technology/physics without them?


Go to Comment
The Seir and the death of the Old World
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Michael Jotne Slayer's comment on 2011-02-03 03:50 AM


I read this when you posted it but refrained from commenting since you wrote that it was in work. As it stands now I could easily give it a four, but it could reach unknown heights with some more work and thus my hesitation. 



I think this is a great "story of how it all started" for your Locastus setting. I enjoyed reading connections and filling out the dots. Like the Seir and their last standing city Akelor, woohooo! I thought you were going to keep that place a total mystery forever and I am happy to discover yet another piece of the puzzle in your amazing world. However, I am biased, I love the Locastus setting and I have read all(I think) of your submissions revolving it. I think that might be the answer to why I so readily accept this post and why Silv have issues with it. I see the freetext, but perhaps links would be in order as well?



I would also recommend that you organize all your posts into regions perhaps, those worlds already organized that way seem to have achieved a high sense of order and maneuverability. I think this would be of much assistance for new readers of your world. Again, I enjoyed reading this and I think it rocks. You always deliver top-notch material but I will refrain from voting until you are done with it.

Go to Comment
The Seir and the death of the Old World
Lifeforms  (Intelligent Species)   (Any)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-02-01 02:04 PM


An interesting creation myth with solid reasoning how it was recorded and preserved through the ages.



There are a few bits that are somewhat ill defined int he battle account, such as "devastating viral theurgies, reality-skewers and vacuum-lances." Defining these strange weapons in a separate sub might help make the battle sound more epic and less confusing. 



Another small bit that confused me: "while the heavens were rent asunder by pleromic battles" IS this to mean "God like battles" or "battles of holy light?" clarifying this as well might make it easier to envision the battle and be less jarring to readers. (That and pleromic is one of those rarely used or referenced words few will understand the potential definition of without looking it up)



Those few issues aside though the sub makes for a good creation myth to add in to a fantasy game easily, or even as recovered scrolls of a long dead civilization in a sci-fi setting, nicely done.



Edit:

Oh and on a side note, it might work better to leave the article as "in work advice requested" then putting it as a normal sub with the *In work* in the intro.

Also, since this sub is more of a archeological/historical text then about an actual lifeform a category other then Lifeforms Intelligent Species Any would be more appropriate and helpful to the readers. Go to Comment
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