I read this when you posted it but refrained from commenting since you wrote that it was in work. As it stands now I could easily give it a four, but it could reach unknown heights with some more work and thus my hesitation.
I think this is a great "story of how it all started" for your Locastus setting. I enjoyed reading connections and filling out the dots. Like the Seir and their last standing city Akelor, woohooo! I thought you were going to keep that place a total mystery forever and I am happy to discover yet another piece of the puzzle in your amazing world. However, I am biased, I love the Locastus setting and I have read all(I think) of your submissions revolving it. I think that might be the answer to why I so readily accept this post and why Silv have issues with it. I see the freetext, but perhaps links would be in order as well?
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I would also recommend that you organize all your posts into regions perhaps, those worlds already organized that way seem to have achieved a high sense of order and maneuverability. I think this would be of much assistance for new readers of your world. Again, I enjoyed reading this and I think it rocks. You always deliver top-notch material but I will refrain from voting until you are done with it.
An interesting creation myth with solid reasoning how it was recorded and preserved through the ages.
There are a few bits that are somewhat ill defined int he battle account, such as "devastating viral theurgies, reality-skewers and vacuum-lances." Defining these strange weapons in a separate sub might help make the battle sound more epic and less confusing.
Another small bit that confused me: "while the heavens were rent asunder by pleromic battles" IS this to mean "God like battles" or "battles of holy light?" clarifying this as well might make it easier to envision the battle and be less jarring to readers. (That and pleromic is one of those rarely used or referenced words few will understand the potential definition of without looking it up)
Those few issues aside though the sub makes for a good creation myth to add in to a fantasy game easily, or even as recovered scrolls of a long dead civilization in a sci-fi setting, nicely done.