This is a well written sub. The item has a backstory and a purpose, a reason for being, and a very evocitive description so that you 'see' the weapon in use. Excellent writing all around!
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I do hold one point with Cheka Man. As strolens is not a system specific website, we try to avoid stats when we can. If you want to provide them, I would recommend putting them in a reply to your own sub to help keep them seperate. Another personal point, this thing definately is an artifact level item, its valued at over half a milltion gold! Once cost get up that high, I usually dont attach price tags to them, that's a lot of gold!
Interesting read, reiterate basic comments above about diluted dragons, and stats in posts blah blah blah. The stats dont bother me in the slightest, and I think putting them in the ideas section is brilliant. Well done. The story and characters are engaging and the weapon is well thought out in my limited opinion (I don't actively game any more)
Welcome and keep up the good work.
This is "so DnD" - the lore is decently written, but the whole "weapon made to stop the greatest foe" approach has been used too often and is made only slightly better by having been made by two working in unison.
Also, it's a sword. With a dragon inside. That turns you into a dragon. I know Dungeons and Dragons is supposed to be about as much about dragons as it is about dungeons, but overdoing it with the dragons may lead to diluting their dragony awesomeness and making them less special (been there, done it).
This said, the sword can be a good McGuffin; I'd have included a limiting clause though or some sort of drawback which makes players less inclined to keep it after they down the Big Nasty.
Another note: the bargain Lord Brax struck with the dragon could have actually borne the seeds of his demise - you write he had the power to claim the soul of the dragon - so the dragon in turn should possess the "power, strength, endurance, and knowledge" to defeat him, in turn. Hence, the dragon-turned-blade could indeed be fed a stream of thought betraying the villain's plans or next strike in that battle (knowledge), drain him of vigor feeding its weilder and striking true as defensive enchantments woven by Lord Brax fail miserably to deflect this one weapon.
Also, welcome to the citadel.
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I disagree totally and completely with Cheka's aversion to having the stats included at the end. As a DM, I enjoy seeing the implementation of mechanics, and there's a great deal of information to be found within the mechanics you've provided. I don't run pathfinder, but the information is still useful and completes my understanding of the item. I suspect you'll encounter a great deal of hostility from most of the citadel- you might want to throw them a bone and generalize some of the information in a less mechanical light by making a section that discusses the weapon in a system-free way.
Welcome, OmegaDraco, and congratulations on your first submission. I personally found the item stats to be a useful addition, but agree that the comments section is the best place for them on this site. It's a very flavorful item, and I definitely give you full marks for the backstory and the descriptive writing.
However, I'm always a little leery of uber powerful items like this one. If I were going to use this in my campaign, I would either take out its ability to transform the user into a crystal dragon (except under very special circumstances), or find a way for the Arbiter to leave the player's possession after awhile.
Summary: this is a good, solid submission (3.0) + 0.5 for the added stats.
You have a good point there, one that I missed because I haven't used an intelligent item in game yet. I must say, the idea of a sword turning on the wielder because of a disagreement in ethics just makes me smile. I'd be sorely tempted to give this sword a bit of a . . . caustic personality as well, one that makes the player almost relieved when they part company after the big bad is dealt with.
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Does anyone else think that an Intelligent Items quest would be a good idea? I'm perversely interested to see what deviousness the rest of the Citadel would come up with.
Uber item. I, like several others have already stated, dislike Uber Items IN GENERAL, nothing against yours at all.
Well written, good physical description, excellent lore.
I have no opinion, good or bad, on the usage of stats. This is a site for resources, and in some manner I think that stats are certainly a good resource to have when running a game. You gave me enough information that, if the need arose and I had to adapt this from say, Pathfinder, to another game I could do it easily, which is an accomplishment.
Welcome to the Citadel.
(I'm not so new anymore!)
The Lore of this item opens up a number of possible plot lines. Here are a few that I can think of: