Not a bad location, though to me the Dark Origin seems tacked on and not very well integrated with the whole. They almost seem like two unrelated subs joined together. I think the sub would stand well on its own without the stated origin.
I think, that whenever you create an item, you shouldn't stop there. You should think about how other people use it. How others percieve it. How people interact with it.
I find that when I think about how something will indirectly affect others, or how non-adventurers will use something, that these things take on a life of their own.
Honestly, if I had the time, I could have rambled on forever about the puppet parades, and how the people dress up like puppets and reenact battles, and how some puppets take to adventuring, or how men are often jealous of juju because he can get away with things that they get slapped or scolded for.
I like this submission, I can see the progression of the puppets, from the hastily assembled to those that were prepared with care and time. Kudos for taking a good submission and drawing something great from it. Go to Comment
I didn't realize my submission could be inspirational. Thank you for the credit. *thumbs up*
Excellently done, very good. The right twists used and subtle culture changes made this very well done. I can see the people trying different methods to duplicate the way one kingdom had. The puppets here remind me of small voodoo dolls. Nice way of adding culture to these things as well. I would not have thought of that in such detail. I should consider giving my post a look over to see if it can be done.
I give this submission 4.5 out of 5. Great stuff, but still has room for a bit more. Again, awesome work there. Go to Comment
I lost where she decides who or "evil" in her eyes. It sort of says that she just travels and attacks cities with women and children. Does she somehow think that all cities are evil or something so is she intent on destroying the world so evil cannot be committed...accept by her? Her motivations confuse me a little. Go to Comment
This is an excellently written sub. Kudos for unelashing the self-loathing pentinential necromaner that seeks to eradicate sin and with it, the whole of humanity! That said, I'm afraid the backstory dosen't really explain exactly how Ambrosia became a necromancer. To be hoenst, in compaririosn with the rest of the sub, it was a bit of a let down. Go to Comment
She thinks that EVERYONE is evil, and so she is going to kill them all.
When she is done, she intends to kill herself.
Her motivations aren't very rational from a normal perspective, and her world view is largely developed from Stockholms syndrome, and several psychotic disorders caused from years of extreme abuse. Go to Comment
The Lord of the Flies, the Muscimancer has studied magics that summon, control and otherwise deal with flies. The Fly Mage is an unwholesome character, also likely to have magics of disease, rot and pestilence up his sleeves. After fighting through his swarms of flies and his loyal acolytes and slaves, the Muscimancer reveals his final power, transforming into a giant half man half fly hybrid. He can fly, acid vomit, as well as continue to use spells, wield weaponry and command his swarms.