It has pretty much been said. The post has its own merits. While I am having a little trouble visualizing parts of it, I get the gist.
This weapon would also need martial training to be really effective. Of course, this could be done quite easily... Capoeira being incorporated into dances and most Karate-te (Okinawan ) peasant agricultural weapons (which were later folded into other Karate-dos in the region). So martial masters are hiding amongst the shop keepers.
Above ALL I would like to see a Dai Kiri Society Post, as well as some other related posts (martial arts system maybe?)
Also Please Link this to the Other Dai Kiri post. (And link it back). Use the Suggest a submissions it is really useful that way. Go to Comment
Ok, guys. I am extremely aprehensive about releasing this to the public. Notably, I feel like my Purse of the Dai Kiri has set the standard for such submissions of mine, and the only direction to go is down.
So, lots of constructive criticism. I feel like I put in too much flavor text, but I can't be sure, and I feel like I need more oddities, but I can't think of any. And well, im just plain nervous.
Actually, I am sure that the Dai Kiri would love that. Outlawing brooms. Not only would the military police look ridiculous, but they would look even more oppressive than usual.
Could you imagine the outrage of people everywhere if brooms were outlawed? Shop keepers would have to worry about dirty, dirt covered floors. Bakeries and Meet Markets would have HUGE infestation problems. In short, it would be outrageous for everybody.
The Dai Kiri aren't just around to beat up the bad guys. They also specialize in making them look bad. Nothing would please the Dai Kiri better than for the Military police to look like the tyrants that they really are by passing a ridiculous law. Go to Comment
I know that you all want the Dai Kiri Society Posted, but at the same time, I am not sure wether or not this is a good Idea. I think that some of the originality in my posts involves the fact that I also reveal something about the Dai Kiri with each Item.
Frankly, I don't have the Dai Kiri completely built yet, but even if I did, I would rather find ways to make each piece interesting, than to clump it into one interesting whole, and have each part lost it's novelty.
I like this but I am not sure about a few issues and thus I question the need of the broom. For starters it's obviously a great camouflage, but soon everebody will be alerted about this new danger.
Then why allow brooms at all? Brooms would be outlawed just like swords and such. This is my only question about this post.
Otherwise I enjoyed it greatly, I will wait with my vote until after I am more enlightened in Broom Lore. Go to Comment
It's not likely, but it could be that if the broom is outlawed "the people" would turn against the Dai Kiri since it's "their faulth". I would not be to happy to see piles of dust, food etc gather up in my supermarked. Who to blame?
That depends on a lot of things, and the door can always be opened both ways.
Anyway, this is a very elegantly set up item with a nice execution.
In my opinion you should not worry about the flavor tid-bits, they portray the broom nicely. I still feel that something is missing though, but I just can't figure out what exactly.
While I didn't vote a 5/5 I did vote 4.5/5. Where it lost the .5 points is rather difficult to say.
I for one enjoyed this a lot. Having studies marital arts for over a decade now and having had to study okinawan weapons I have use with common items turned ot weapons. From horse sturips to an oar.
This smacks of realism in our own history if a bit odd to say the least. I read where Mike asked about the guards banning brooms and I agree with Nobody that it would seem ludicris to the public and be an outright slap to anyone intelligent ot ban the use of a broom. For one, not only is banning a household item stupid (for lack of a better term) but civil services who clean and maintain the strets would have to find something else to clean with.
Now, why I reduced it down by .5. I did not feel the use of the needles within the broom, especially the poison. I mean, ok you add needles to an item you will be sweeping with that are designed to fly off. I don't see how they would stay attached when being used as well as the poison dripping out or getting clogged by dirt and dust. It is an interesting addition and the whole fear thing is perfect.
That is my vote and I think this is a wonderful submission that is both unique and fresh. Go to Comment
Write up who they were in a society submission. Then group everything together via the codex. It is a wonderful way to get all of your related submissions into one section but at the same time be individual submissions to gain their own respect. Go to Comment
Outstanding submission. Almost as good as the purse. The purse was just a smidge better because it was totally simple yet truly unimaginable. Nobody but Nobody thought of it before! (Sorry.) This broom is similar to the Japanese "War Fan" concept (a folding metal fan that worked well as a nightstick) and is not beyond previous imagination. It also is more complex.
Still, the back-story is, as usual, top-quality, and it adds cumulatively to the previous submission. Can't wait for the next creation from Dr. No. Go to Comment
There's really not much that I can say here that hasn't been said before. I have not read the "Purses" sub yet, and I will not read it until this comment is done. To my eyes, this was a great item, with a great description, story, and a well thought-out reason for existance as well as a well thought-out combat plan. Great work! Go to Comment
If the 'purses' didn't exist i'd give this a 5, but since they do, I cant help but think of them as I read this.
I'm picturing a 13th-15th century town in china. The emperor's thugs, are parading through the streets and sneering at the frail, fearful looking villagers. A few stop at an inn to pester the patrons, and get some free grub. Two or three inconspicuous workers(?) are sweeping the floors..."You there! some food and drink quickly, or I'll shove that broom up your #%&"
The sweepers innocently approach the soldiers....
Is there a "Broom Master" (or "The Sweeper"), a secretive teacher of the deadly fighting style, that the Dai-Kiri revere? Go to Comment