This seems kinda, I dunno, bland? Like the standard sort of quest-giving source for a modern/cyberpunk setting. The dark web is full of such things, or so I'm given to understand.
The intro sentences are strong: "The hacker had breached the final firewall and was typing code into the command prompt: code/7777SOHAT. Images flashed up on screen and he gazed in terror at what he saw." Kind of led me to believe this would be a cyberhorror kind of sub, something you'd see a good creepy pasta about. Maybe taking it in that direction would be cool? A sort of haunted website that someone stumbles upon, discovers what they think is a dangerous but profitable job, but it turns out to be far darker than they anticipated? I dunno, I'm kind of just riffing here, but you get the idea.
In short, it's a pretty standard concept that has the potential for a unique twist. Go to Comment
Nice idea, there is a lot left unsaid, about how there would still be a human element to things, in the way of introductions and granting of access to the site. Presenting just the site may confuse some of the more rigid minded people/players that may focus more on the players relationship with site, when really the site is a mean by which the players contact with or learn about their opponents. Yet it keeps the nature of the opponent mysterious, as is common in the speculative fiction genre. It is another lock that has to cracked before you can get to the real threats. Go to Comment
I like it. What I really like it that it is only 30ft tall, and the room is 5x5. I feel like such a small space gives it more opportunity to be something more than a soul-sundering furnace. You just don't expect such ultimate power from a 3 story building. Does the moonlight have to enter through the top? or just any of the holes in the side? The hole in the top is smaller than 5x5 and could be very easy to plug it up so it couldn't be used. Just food for though. Nice job. Go to Comment
With the revolving door afterlife in many game worlds, this could used as a in game tool to "really" kill somebody. The threat of death by this device or the potential to use this device themselves could constantly be hanging over the PCs. It is nice brief description and purposely vague, i like that.
Also what if the people don't die, what if they end up at the base of another tower thousands or millions of miles away, only this tower is damaged and lies largely in ruins? Go to Comment
These types of comments really burn my toast. I am bothered when the critique focuses on how some aspect of the write up is unintuitive to the reader, and thus the reader labels it is unrealistic. I ask anyone who begins a comment with the line
“Any ruler would make laws against such magic”
or “mages, being naturally distrustful”
or “Couldn’t this be undone by a simple dispel magic incantation”
or any such line that adds new information as part the argument to consider three things.
First almost every write up on this site reflects a single moment in time. Even bad or unsustainable ideas have their day. Perhaps all the flaws you see in the item or system are valid. These are things that can be exploited by the PCs or suggests an instability which adds drama to the item.
Second, treat the write up as cannon. When you drop it into your own game, you can and will change things. If somebody says that Ogres are running into battle with giant scissors, then they are. Even if giant scissors are the least effective piece of military hardware since blue body paint, it is a “fact” in the universe of the post.
Three, I think suggesting new information to include in the use of the idea is fantastic. Expanding on the idea is also fantastic. But adding new information to justify criticism is banal and short sighted. So to state that “wizards and mages would”, is adding new information. It is making a conclusion about the nature of people in the world or the setting of the post. I enjoy posts more when, instead of trying to analyze the post in terms of my prejudices and experiences regarding speculative fiction, I try and glean information about the world in which this post exists.
Finally to authors about to respond to such comments; just remember that all cement is wet until it meets the PCs. So don’t get all up in arms about what the item or monster “actually does”. (though this main seem to contradict point two, I just speaking to the limitation of this medium) Focus on what you want it to do, and what it is you wanted to communicate. I feels odd to say this, but all that exists as far as the site is concerned, is the write up and linked write ups.
I was thinking more a prison colony type adventure, set up sort of us as follows.
The PCs know about the tower for a couple adventures, they relate to it directly or indirectly but they know about it. Even better if one of the big bads they best gets put in the tower. Then through some contrived means or another the PCs get put in the tower and BAM the light hits him. (You could even give them an hour to try escape and let them almost make it....or get caught afterwards if they do).
At any rate, after the light goes off they aren't dead but they in a far away land (perhaps a different plane or planet depending on the setting). They soon realize that all condemn get sent here, including their old rivals. There will likely be factions and communities on the other side of the tower and perhaps one group is close finding a way back to the PCs home realm. But the faction that is completing the return mechanism, is planning to do very bad stuff to the PCs home. There you have plenty of conflict for the PCs to deal with and lots of choices to make. Go to Comment
I do like the idea that this is not actually a disintegrator, but a teleporter. Maybe the victims are teleported sans gear/clothing and it is the stuff that does not make the trip that turns to dust. The 'prison world' has a lot of potential. The 'roll up a new character' doesn't :)