Well-written with some evocative imagery! (Like this: blood in decanters and hearts on platters. And this: His followers surrounded their gore-encrusted leader, pouring out their love with tear-streaked faces)
Well developed villain. I'd agree with Dossta on the weakness part. He needs some sort of "soft spot" or maybe he fears something greatly, but as is, he's already memorable.
I keep picturing *him* as being effeminate, or androgynous or a hermaphrodite or something. Not sure why, perhaps the "intense" beauty and his physical characteristics and all that.
Looking forward to seeing more from your upcoming campaign!
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I must say that you surprised me with this, Mystic. As I was reading the description of Chiros' appearance and personality, I was preparing myself for another stereotypical lich -- a vast, hidden power who acts through proxies. Instead, we have a vastly successful con-man masquerading as a holy figure. Love the parallels to Chrisitanity.
He is a little uber, imo, so adding a few weaknesses (even just flaws in his personality that could be exploited) would help. Introducing some plot hooks or other important NPCs who are close to him would also increase the value of this post. But overall, there is very little for me to criticize here, and much to praise. Well done!
I actually enjoyed the path of the flute from person to person. I kept waiting for that to come in play though as mentioned and was disappointed when I didn't see it. They are correct that it doesn't add much to the sub...unless.
Perhaps the flute takes a piece of each person that it touches along its path. Each expert that can harness the flute imbues it with a little part of him/herself. As the flute passes from hand to hand it actually slowly accumulates more power and more music. Flutist may fall into the sound and stat playing pieces that past owners favored...etc etc.
I do love these kind of items and anything that gets the ideas flowing is always great.
Very nice. I have always enjoyed ideas revolving around the gifts of fey creatures and this one is very atmospheric, well detailed, and fun. My favorite part is the paragraph about the hands it has passed through. Great first submission, a very nice take on a traditional Bard's instrument.