Umook the Sculptor
Though the trolls of the Murgh have no word for sculptor in their primal tongue, I call this specimen by that name, due to his singularly peculiar and gruesome hobby. Umook will tear, rip, rearrange, and forcibly reattach the limbs, heads, and extremities and build mongrel statues and constructs, from the flesh and bones of the troll pack's victims. No one can guess why he does this, least of all Umook I imagine, but I have observed on several occasions Umook practicing his macabre art-work with his bloody raw materials. The grotesque mockeries he constructs do not stand vigil long, as the trolls quickly devour the sculptures, while Umook gibbers and drools, clawing at the earth, either bemoaning his fate, calling out to some loathsome troll deity, or both.
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Umook is fond of flowers. He can often be observed inhaling the vapors and pollen, face-down in a patch of poppies or ten-step pansies. I have yet to ascertain why he does this. Nor can I begin to guess why once every half-moon, a small swarm of rhinocerous beetles approaches the troll, lingers about him, then goes off again into the swamp, as if with instructions from Umook in tow.
Gozh'ga is a she-troll. I know because she is bigger than the other two, and often berates and belittles Umook and Droog whenever they attempt to mate with her, or eat her food. She is a wrinkled behemoth of a troll with empty, worm-ridden eye sockets.
What she lacks in sight, she makes up for with her wart-ridden nose. Her sense of smell is extraordinary. I was present when she once sniffed at the air suddenly and excitedly, then proceeded to sketch crude human-like figures in the dirt, indicating travelers and pointing in a direction. The trolls seemed excited.
*Three* full days later an unfortunate band of adventurers stumbled upon the troll lair. The trolls were ready for them, and the awful screams that night, did not last long. Not only had Gozh'ga sensed the group many miles away, but she seemed to know that they were traveling in this exact direction. There was no reason to start the hunt.
Once Gozh'ga had eyes, but as I watched from a bluff spell-bound one night, she plucked them out one after the other and ate them, much to the delight of Umook and Droog, who leapt up and down, like two idiots at their first fare.
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Several weeks later, something interesting occurred. I was watching the troll relieve herself one morning, riveted to the scene, when suddenly to my horror, two bulbous, gloopy eyes sprouted, one ripping through the flesh of each cheek of her desiccated backside. These are truly remarkable creatures.
I sometimes call him "Droog the Last" because he always is. The runt of the foursome, Droog is often submissive to the other three. Last to attack during the hunt, last to feed back at the troll lair. He is easily recognizable by his two extended members(!) which I have never witnessed in flaccid states. I have colleagues that would no doubt jape at being envious of Droog's predicament, but I digress. Why Gozh'ga refuses to mate with Droog despite his twin ever-ready phalluses, remains a mystery.
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Droog seems to prefer eating animals to humanoids. The other three trolls are the opposite, they will listlessly chew on snakes and hedgehogs, but positively animate whenever two-legged prey appears on the menu. At these times Droog looks almost sullen, and withdraws to his pit gnawing on his own arm. Droog will sometimes try to keep food alive for a while, and play with prey like a cat. It almost seems as if he is desirous of acquiring a pet. I watched him once drag a dwarf around by the neck on a chain for three weeks everywhere he went, though he forgot to feed him, until Warp'raa at last, came over, ripped the dwarf's head off and ate it. Droog ate the rest, whimpering solemnly.
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Heh, wise Gyma has touched upon the crux of what I was going for...Some combination of the banal, apologetic, self-important, desentisized news reporting on mass beheadings, Sharkweek jumping the shark ("Oy, watch as I swim with these misunderstood, gentle giants---Gaaaaaack---Dead.), Gorillas in the Mist ("Wow, he just sits there. Amazing! Wait, look, he just picked his ass with his finger and tasted it! I think he liked it. What incredible creatures, I'm in awe!), ecological ultra-liberal-terrorists, and the reality tv trainwreck.