As some of the others have said, I think this item would work better as an adventure or NPC idea. I do like the idea of a magical item that makes people nervous all the time, which could lead to some interesting situations if someone had the cloak and didn't know what they had. Maybe someone important suddenly becomes very, very paranoid... this could easily be a plot in the making. Go to Comment
Well I like it. Obviously it is not a revolutionary item that changes the game world, but one of those unique little things that adds a lottle bit of flavor now and then.
Contrary to what Mourngrymn says, I see no problem with the magical effects, although you should describe the cloak a little better even if only to say that it is made of wool and is worn at the edges. I think the story is fine, and an Item like this does not need an epic legend behind it.
However, Mourngrymn is right in that the cloak is still a good cloak. It causes goosbumps...so what? Does the cloak no longer function as a cloak of detect danger, and the thief has already replaced it?
Anyway, I will give it my standard Small Items Vote of 3.0. Not everything has to get a 4.5 or 5.0, and I yhink that this is a good solid idea. Go to Comment
Interesting, a cloak of danger sense that is always sensing danger. A defective charm to say the least. This isn't a bad idea and it could be used in the realm of other items, such as Boots of Leaping that make every step a bounding leap... Go to Comment
Ok, since I have never commented on one of your submissions before, ( I dont think I have anyway) I will let you know. Anything I say in here is not bashing, harrassing, or down right mean. I am very up front with everyone and try to bring the same type of thought to every comment I make. So if I seem to harsh, forgive me bluntness. I am just trying to help after all.
I am not entirely sure what this submission is about. While this is an item, it seems more of a plot to me. More focus has been spent on the actual, getting rid of the clock, then the item itself.
And while Horripilation, is an actual medial term, I really don't think the name fits for an item. Whether it suits it or not. The name made me think of some horrible illusion or nightmare, perhaps a demon would spawn from it when I read the title. As I didn't know what Horripilation was until I looked it up.
The items description, while fits its not unusual looking nature, needs much more definition. It briefly, one sentence, mentions it has magic properties before. What were they? The danger sense it spoke of all to briefly as well? If so... why would lightning affect it any? I would think if magic was altered it would revert to the exact opposite of it's ability. Not sense danger until it passed or something along those lines.
Why would a feeling of gooseflesh be unnearving? I get cold chills all the time and it doesn't affect me. It feels weird to have it al lthe time I am sure, but nothing that I would be in such a rush to get rid of. It still functions as a cloak after all.
I would think that if this did do what you intend, the gooseflesh would have to be more than just natural. It would be chilling to the bone and unearving to the point where they can not function. It isn't on all the time, but happens at the worst times. When stressed, or under pressure.
I don't know but this lacks a lot of me to vote on and it seems more a plot than an item.
Ok, I am sorry that I am stil lvoting a little low on this as everyone else seems to like it a lot. I try not to let others sway my voting at least.
Thinking now about the cloak in that it would be like it was detecting danger all the time seems to be a wonderful idea. Especially if it gave the impression that the wearer turns to look and sees a few people turn away. Everytime. So it seemed someone was watching/ tracking/ stalking them. Go to Comment
I actually like this cloak a great deal. This is just the sort of item I like to give PCs in my campaign. Something that will make them think a bit, and just add a bit of flavor and role play to the game.
Not eveything needs to be awesome and of high magic. It has been my experience that it is those little items that really make the game. I mean sure, give someone an awesome sword or great armor, and they will appricate it and have fun with it. But, when they look back at the campaign, what they will really remember is the litte silly stuff that made it fun.
"Ha-ha..remember when so-and-so got that cloak, and it made him jump at every little thing. How long did it take us to figure that out?? And all the time it was right in front of us!"
I have the feeling that this will be showing up for my PCs rather soon...
Oh, and I have the feeling it take a real dry, tounge-in-cheek sence of humor to get what you were doing with the name. That is the curse of those of us with a Britt sence of humor..no one else gets it. Been there many a time myself. ;) Go to Comment
ok, I could have added some clarification and more description. I thought the lightning bolt clasp might have done the trick :) but I guess not.
-Formerly, the cloak caused gooseflesh and uneasiness whenever the wearer was close to danger. Now it simply causes that sensation all the time.
-It's not that the goose bumps and such "cause" uneasiness. An overall feeling of nervousness and mild paranoia is felt as well, on top of the goose-bumps.
-Obviously people wouldn't go around calling it a "horripilation" cloak. I guess you can call it a "Gooseflesh Cloak" or something. I meant the name a little tongue-in-cheek, for exactly the reason you state. It seems such an OMINOUS word, I thought it would be funny. I guess that amused only me
-why would lightning affect it? Geez, I don't know. Why not? I don't have a scientific or detailed magical discourse on the subject.
- "Not sense danger until it passed or something along those lines." I actually like that suggestion a lot. Great alternative (probably better actually and funnier!)
- Nobody, thanks for "wooly-and-worn". Hope you don't mind.
In closing (and as Nobody mentions-thanks!) I didn't mean this to be a "world-changing" magic item, and didn't want it to be overly complicated. It's a quirky cloak, thats all. In hindsight, I should have made the entry as Yazzard the NPC.
*did some slight editing*
I DO appreciate your comments and suggestions, Mourngrymn. I guess I'll chalk this one up, to "you didn't like it" :) Go to Comment
Interesting: violent anarchists with a hardly detectable poison. I would imagine they would be also interested in other poisons - causing abortion/premature birth/weakening small children; or even poisoning adults, but that is risky. While their main tool is very effective, there is a limited amount of it and it may not be at hand at the right time.
Also, is there by chance some antidote?
There could be less empty lines towards the end, it is too strawn over. As for the categorization, it is on you, but you can certainly split it and make the group a Society of its own. Or Vephelot, the merciful spirit that wants people to be free... that is how a demon should be seen by its followers. The bloody chaos they create is just an accidental by-effect of their noble cause. Go to Comment
Now, for the ultimate moral turn-around: they are actually saving the babies, because otherwise they will be raised to wield the ultimate power over others. And as everyone knows, power corrupts. And this way, they are saving the innocents. *shudders from disgust*
As for the antidote... I am not sure. There logically would be some natural means to fight it, get a probe, hire a dozen of alchemists, you'll get it eventually. But personally, I would consider it more interesting to first find out how (and where from) they recieve the poison, and counter it with some reversed means...
- a blessing from a deity of nature/youth/fertility or something like that?
- invoking such a spirit, and recieving the antidote in a similar way as the poison (it could flow out of flowers, or materialize as morning dew, or whatever)
- that ultra-rare healing plant mentioned in some legends and rumours
- other common items, dragon's liver and such ;)
But ultimately, I would go for something that is the reverse of the demon, and it's poison. Go to Comment
"...a follower is a woman who gets pregnant and ingests the poison..."
Hm, hm, hmmmm...
One way to approach nobility, is to become a lowly servant that occasionally gets 'used' by the king or some other high-up. And if she gets pregnant, her co-warriors would not be above helping her to get rid of the child to not compromise her persuasion. Which of course goes against her mother's instincts.
What a NPC: a follower that was up to taking out the royal family, but has lost her child due to her revolutionary friends. And now she wants revenge. Go to Comment