I agree with Moonhunterthat it is a very good write up, but it seems too much like a generic intelligent fantasy wolf to me (yeah, i realize how weird that sounds ;-o) Adding a cat head does make it not just a wolf, but I don't understand why a cat head makes it run like a cat and have reflexes, and similarly I would think it would lose some of its ability to track scent. I know I'm being picky here, but I love a good marriage of form and function. Go to Comment
The ultimate price to pay for power. Reading the description in detail, the wearer seems to be in no danger until he puts down the Amulet - what if he doesn't? I would think that the undead under his command would start to hate him anyway - maybe they would still obey his commands, but would work against him at every opportunity, the smarter ones twisting his commands to his detriment, etc. So for instance, if not commanded to attack, they could simply let adventurers get right to him (suprise!). Go to Comment
I kinda like it, more for the story and description than the effect. Although, assuming you could deal with the undead and/or manipulate the poor sod, might prove an interesting way to assassinate someone. Go to Comment
A well written item and one that certainly has it uses. I must admit that I have seen similar before, but it is still a good item. It is a solid, good post that rise above the common submission due to its background, plot possibilities and excellent writing. You are a very good writer.
Edit: Removed the references to good english as Mourn felt that was a given. I, having seen less impressive post from native writers, tend to disagree, but I bow to the author's wishes Go to Comment
The amulet gives the living control of the undead. Not the undead control over the undead. Once the wearer/ user is turned they loose their ability to control that which they have become. A double edged sword.
But I do love your idea... perhaps I could change it a little. Go to Comment
I see it as the undead, mostly, do not want to be undead. They wish for their eternal release from their state. And anyone who commands them and keeps them from that state are their enemy. They just can not do anything while they are under their control. Go to Comment
What if you are really really nice to the undead you control, will they still turn on you. Rule #48 of being an evil overlord: I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
Solid basic quest item, another one destined for the fires of Mordor. I like the voice and the story Go to Comment
The main thought I had with this item, is why would the undead necessarily seek vengeance? If the figure was evil enough in life, the undead may willingly follow them, or bear no animosity (beyond the normal undead hatred). However, if the undead were created through his actions, or were ordered to do things they would not have willingly done otherwise, then I could easily see vengeance being sought. Go to Comment
A subtle curse, but implacable in its effects. I can see this thing falling into the hands of a powerful leader, who could wield it to build undead into an army to overthrow his enemies, only discovering its curse too late. Someone who hoped to command the undead to leave his lands could instead find himself plagued with them as they return for their vengeance. Go to Comment
It is a 3.5 with an extra .5 for completeness. This particular one does not grab me like many locations do. I do not need fiction, I need drama or the platform for drama to set the characters in. This has some of that, but not a great deal. Go to Comment
A short answer to this... I realize this is a bit unlinked but it was pre linked stage in the site version so forgive the lack of apparent linked subs. However some of this is explained in other subs which are all a part of the Hewdamian world. By reading the History of Hewdamia you get most of this, but I also realize it is outdated and needs to be linked and updated some for the new site. Go to Comment
You type the command into the console. "Insufficient Guineapigs" the computer responds. Baffled, you retype the command. "Insufficient Guineapigs" the computer replies again. You decide you should start smaller, with a simpler command. "Insufficient Guineapigs"
What does cycling the spaceship's airlock have to do with a now-extinct Peruvian rodent?