While it can be said that I am partial to wolves and wolf like creatures, this is still a great write up. The animals have a real feel, while still being fantasy creatures. I give this write up two paws. :) Go to Comment
I am of two minds on this creature. On one hand, I like the creative and colorful write-up of the creature. On the other, it is neither fey, nor hound-like. I imagined something a little more fairie-fey, and less of a worghound. A solid creature, good for almost any setting. Go to Comment
Updated: This is a very good creature to use as a bane against worgs, winter wolves and the like if they are in a setting that you may be using. Any non-natural creature is seen as as prey. Go to Comment
I agree with Moonhunterthat it is a very good write up, but it seems too much like a generic intelligent fantasy wolf to me (yeah, i realize how weird that sounds ;-o) Adding a cat head does make it not just a wolf, but I don't understand why a cat head makes it run like a cat and have reflexes, and similarly I would think it would lose some of its ability to track scent. I know I'm being picky here, but I love a good marriage of form and function. Go to Comment
The ultimate price to pay for power. Reading the description in detail, the wearer seems to be in no danger until he puts down the Amulet - what if he doesn't? I would think that the undead under his command would start to hate him anyway - maybe they would still obey his commands, but would work against him at every opportunity, the smarter ones twisting his commands to his detriment, etc. So for instance, if not commanded to attack, they could simply let adventurers get right to him (suprise!). Go to Comment
I kinda like it, more for the story and description than the effect. Although, assuming you could deal with the undead and/or manipulate the poor sod, might prove an interesting way to assassinate someone. Go to Comment
A well written item and one that certainly has it uses. I must admit that I have seen similar before, but it is still a good item. It is a solid, good post that rise above the common submission due to its background, plot possibilities and excellent writing. You are a very good writer.
Edit: Removed the references to good english as Mourn felt that was a given. I, having seen less impressive post from native writers, tend to disagree, but I bow to the author's wishes Go to Comment
The amulet gives the living control of the undead. Not the undead control over the undead. Once the wearer/ user is turned they loose their ability to control that which they have become. A double edged sword.
But I do love your idea... perhaps I could change it a little. Go to Comment
I see it as the undead, mostly, do not want to be undead. They wish for their eternal release from their state. And anyone who commands them and keeps them from that state are their enemy. They just can not do anything while they are under their control. Go to Comment
What if you are really really nice to the undead you control, will they still turn on you. Rule #48 of being an evil overlord: I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
Solid basic quest item, another one destined for the fires of Mordor. I like the voice and the story Go to Comment