A well written item and one that certainly has it uses. I must admit that I have seen similar before, but it is still a good item. It is a solid, good post that rise above the common submission due to its background, plot possibilities and excellent writing. You are a very good writer.
Edit: Removed the references to good english as Mourn felt that was a given. I, having seen less impressive post from native writers, tend to disagree, but I bow to the author's wishes Go to Comment
The amulet gives the living control of the undead. Not the undead control over the undead. Once the wearer/ user is turned they loose their ability to control that which they have become. A double edged sword.
But I do love your idea... perhaps I could change it a little. Go to Comment
I see it as the undead, mostly, do not want to be undead. They wish for their eternal release from their state. And anyone who commands them and keeps them from that state are their enemy. They just can not do anything while they are under their control. Go to Comment
The main thought I had with this item, is why would the undead necessarily seek vengeance? If the figure was evil enough in life, the undead may willingly follow them, or bear no animosity (beyond the normal undead hatred). However, if the undead were created through his actions, or were ordered to do things they would not have willingly done otherwise, then I could easily see vengeance being sought. Go to Comment
A subtle curse, but implacable in its effects. I can see this thing falling into the hands of a powerful leader, who could wield it to build undead into an army to overthrow his enemies, only discovering its curse too late. Someone who hoped to command the undead to leave his lands could instead find himself plagued with them as they return for their vengeance. Go to Comment
It is a 3.5 with an extra .5 for completeness. This particular one does not grab me like many locations do. I do not need fiction, I need drama or the platform for drama to set the characters in. This has some of that, but not a great deal. Go to Comment
A short answer to this... I realize this is a bit unlinked but it was pre linked stage in the site version so forgive the lack of apparent linked subs. However some of this is explained in other subs which are all a part of the Hewdamian world. By reading the History of Hewdamia you get most of this, but I also realize it is outdated and needs to be linked and updated some for the new site. Go to Comment
A credible, reasonably detailed town that leaves me hungry for more information.
While some hooks for adventure are provided (the nearby ruins and the nests of the vile "blood dodger" parasites), no information was provided about the human conflicts to be found in such a place. Additional history about the ruins and details about blood dodgers would be helpful.
A variety of conflicts would doubtlessly be encountered in such a town:
- While the Gison (Dwarves) are friendly neighbors, perhaps some of them object to the townfolk's activities? After all the Gison have done for the town, I would imagine they might be annoyed if their well-intentioned advice and direction is disregarded.
- The military veterans that make up much of the population may encourage strict order and crush out attempts at crime, but they will have the same weaknesses and passions as anyone else. Surely there are issues that these people disagree over? Conflicts where personal liberties are trodden upon in the name of "the common good" come to mind. Some of the town's leadership might abuse their positions for personal advantage.
- Should some threat endanger the land, its rulers may need the city to send a military force in response. Because this city is so heavily militarized, the ruler may demand an unusually large number of troops respond from there. After all, they have committed substantial resources to keeping the town safe: Shouldn't the town return the favor? This may cause hardship and danger for the town, gutted of defenders. Go to Comment
I took a look at the related subs that you had linked already, but I was considering its "local flavor" and how it would be used in a campaign. I like the basic idea, but it left me wanting more information about the local people, what they do, and how they could be used to spark adventures. Go to Comment
Perhaps an even cooler form of crystal would be a four-dimensional one. "How to incorporate this into a 3-d gameworld?" you ask. Simple: all that we mortals can see is a three-dimensional projection of the gem, which may alter subtly as it rotates in four dimensions. This could give these gems a hard-to-hold, ephemeral quality: it would be possible if you gripped them wrongly that they would just fire off into the fourth dimension.
The reason I thought of this was your enumeration of the Platonic solids: in four dimensions there is an extra regular polytope which has no analogue in any other dimension (in 5+ dimensions there are only three Platonic "solids"). Somehow the mysteries of four dimensions seem suited to the properties of a magic-focussing device.