This has enough of a painful reoccurance to the players that is bespeaks of many fun filled hours of reoccuring nightmares for them. They could meet him one day and have a splendid time, then the next time they meet him it always seems ot be a bad day for them to where they think he draws them bad luck, then the next time, good again. A perfect on again off again kind of relationship with an NPC like this is classic. Go to Comment
VERY nice MH. I love the way you flesh him out, yet leave enough of him unsaid so that he can be weaved into any fantasy campaign.
I give it a 4/5. Why not that last little bit? Well, I'm not quite sure, but something seems lacking in there. While a good NPC, he isn't absolutely wonderful, great, AWESOME. And that's okay. I think that 5/5s should be handed out on a rare basis, for those really special MH works. Go to Comment
Yeah, I have little to add to what has already been said. I think he isn't the easiest character to work into a campaign, but I like the idea of the players 'just happening' to see him a lot. Even if nothing happens they should be a little suspicious. Go to Comment
I read this one before registering for the Citadel, and am coming back to add my vote. Well done on this! A nice way to sew misery, pettiness and despair -- the kind that the PCs would love to fight, but has no clear source.
It is far from generic, or mundane... in fact, I think the lord of the house would be quite insulted if someone called it this way.
There comes the plot hook: someone had the audacity to claim lord so and so has a garden ten times as beautiful as this one! So get those adventurers, and let them find out what exactly is in that (heavily guarded) garden, before they are compared by the King himself. (May add quests for exotic items to make this garden even more special.)
Even competition in beauty can become deadly serious... Go to Comment
*breathing heavily, gets a huge axe, and after a moment of maniacal laughter recovers and forces himself to throw it away*
"Must be creative... must not kill people that post dozens of comments without adding value to it."
Therefore... more plot hooks and things-to do for the PCs.
- there's some minor critters threatening the gardens or visitors' comfort, and are hard to remove. Ideal for a less-known party to make a name. Hunting, (re)search.
- a kid has become lost. Of course it is a child of someone important, so find it before the parents find out! Sneaking, diplomacy, search.
- hinder cocky nobles from starting a duel. Diplomacy, manipulation.
- young nobles on holidays fall in love, but are from the wrong houses. The Romeo an Juliet thing must be prevented. Manipulation.
- a badly needed noble/general/archmage/... fell in love with the place and started a career as a gardener. The country needs your aid. Manipulation.
- somebody has died... unnaturally. Detective, search.
- apparently one of the servants has stolen something. Thief or some other motive? Detective.
- randomly found evidence of blackmail... what will they do? Detective and more.
- by chance or intent, overhear a private talk that shouldn't have been heard. Shall they tell somebody? And what will be the consequences? Diplomacy and more.
- without an apparent reason, the peasants start a rebellion against the manor. Repel the attack, then find out why. Combat/Strategy, detective and possibly more.
Now I know that I'm supposed to rate things based on their apparent quality, but I have to say that in this case, though by almost all categorical standards it is a 4 (not a 5, you maniacs! What is this the Golden Globes?), I have take away a point based on simple personal preference. I don't believe that, even though it is something of a unique place, it is all ithat/i interesting.
Monument, please, hostility gets us nowhere. I think with this one we could just let sleeping dogs lie. This is an opinionated thing- why is everybody jumping all over him just because he rated it low? Admittedly, I found a 1/5 to be a touch extreme, but it isn't my decision; it's Monument's vote, and he makes it how he likes. Go to Comment
All to often, it seems, that we can be caught up in mangling and severing a submission to see if we can dissect it enough to put into our own various games. This manor house may be mundane, with no magical monsters, hedges of carnivorous plants, and no dakr elf assassins accompanied by their lightning stripped tigers.. That does nothig to detract from it's value. The fact that there is such a wealth of detail makes all the more valuable.
Cliches such because they are overdone, they take the extrodinary and reduce it to something that becomes ridiculed. Giant demons with unholy weapons, orphaned bountry-hunter drow with pet giant spiders, it is so far from the norm that it is stupid. Now, we find this manorial house, with an elaborate write-up and some nice history that doesnt go into overkill. If Moon had decied to write the 72 names on the memorial stone, that would be overkill. With what he wrote, I can see this place, imagine walking through the carefully manicured lawn while a stripe of a child runs along lighting the candles along the walkways.
While you may not be able to distill out a random encounter table for the garden, or calculate the XP value of the hedges doesnt detract from the value of the post. This kind of detail leads to game memoris that last years after the game has passed. This is the kind of detail that one would find between teh pages of an Anne Rice novel set in New Orleans, or perhaps a sublty macabre deserted town in a Stephen King novel.
That being said, a 5/5 for Moon's work, and a cuff to the back of Monument and Kendra's heads. Go to Comment
Monument, I guess you are that one who describes every unimportant NPC as 'just a guy', the grass as 'that green stuff' and Excalibur as 'a sword +5 and Stop Bleeding'.
This place is almost ... beyond time - a perfect background for political adventures, as well as calmer parts of the campaign - or an excellent place for a horror scenario - remote, silent, serene.
When politics abound, or a tryst with the princess' sister, she'll say "meet me by the statue of Roland Victorious" - if you happen to stray near the statue of Roland Besieged, you might encounter unexpected company, or offend the noble lady, who expected a red rose from you...
I am not going to defend each and every post from you, Monument, but your narrow-mindedness means that i'm likely to disregard your opinion. Go to Comment
A nice premade location. Usable, okay and ready to be inserted into many a setting. Nothing unique or extraordinary about itm but it is a decent piece of work. It receives a score of 3.5/5 rounded up to a 4/5. Go to Comment
In order to use something that isn't my own, there has to be some idea that I like in the description, something to differentiate it from any other place that is just like this, from a generic perspective.
If I truly don't care about the place that we're going, I will use a description like what you've given "it's a typical noble house, you know, lots of land, cleared around the manor house, gardens, servants running around, you get the picture. Anyways, the butler leads you into the great room, and..."
Basically, why go into such detail on something so prototypical? You've gone into massive detail for something mundane. It's overkill, if you ask me. I prefer to spend my time on the unusual or the bizarre, rather than the mundane. The only reason to provide a full description of something so generic would be if there were something unusual that isn't immediately apparent. Otherwise, it's just a waste of time to write it up. Show a picture of any typical european country estate and move on with the game. Go to Comment