OK because this is a Moonhunter sub I always expect the best. The size of this disturbs me as the norm for Moon is exceptionally detailed. I like the idea first and foremost as an NPC race. I can not see this as a viable player based race. Their limited knowledge is an interesting angle, I like the stagnant evolution they seem to be stuck in, however, not knowing how to trade... or not learning how to trade as it is a skill seems rather limiting and seemingly a death sentence in the long run. Sure they can be self sufficient and continue to produce life and their society, but eventually the outside world will find them. And just like the seemingly primitive tribes of our history, they will perish under the technologically advanced and free thinking societies.
I like the concept... but I feel it may need a little work. Go to Comment
The holde link Doesn't work, and searching for it all I found was a sanctuary for demons. It's a rare and special place, okay, but what the meaning of that secret specialness is supposed to be evades me. Go to Comment
I like, the vibe is there, the challenges on the road are solid. I like the Shambala is a real place, and it is both what you expect (a holy place) but it is also somewhat realistic (rock pile, farms, etc). Kudos. Go to Comment
I think you just took a wonderful piece of Buddhism, and made it unique and fantastic, while still retaining all the emotional and philosophical pieces that come together to make the legend of Shambala so important. I like it.
In brief: Involve characters with drama, rather than arbitrary situations. Secondly consider that all actions have consequences.
I have a few complaints. Mainly, the article, informative as it is, is dry and the paragraph formatting is choppy and inconsistant. The Roddenberry quote is interesting, the italicised additions are not really necessary. The rest of the submission is IMHO rather basic information. I could be wrong on that account though. Go to Comment
Honestly, I agree with Scras' comment, but not his vote. In the past, you've talked about PCs having goals and the GM including them in the game where appropriate, but this is the first time I think you've really gone in-depth on that. I rather enjoyed this one, even though it seemed a smidge dry. Basic isn't always a bad thing: we all need to go back to the basics sometimes, simply because we didn't pick it up the first time through, we're just now learning it, or because with more experience we can understand and apply it better. Go to Comment