The holde link Doesn't work, and searching for it all I found was a sanctuary for demons. It's a rare and special place, okay, but what the meaning of that secret specialness is supposed to be evades me. Go to Comment
I like, the vibe is there, the challenges on the road are solid. I like the Shambala is a real place, and it is both what you expect (a holy place) but it is also somewhat realistic (rock pile, farms, etc). Kudos. Go to Comment
I think you just took a wonderful piece of Buddhism, and made it unique and fantastic, while still retaining all the emotional and philosophical pieces that come together to make the legend of Shambala so important. I like it.
In brief: Involve characters with drama, rather than arbitrary situations. Secondly consider that all actions have consequences.
I have a few complaints. Mainly, the article, informative as it is, is dry and the paragraph formatting is choppy and inconsistant. The Roddenberry quote is interesting, the italicised additions are not really necessary. The rest of the submission is IMHO rather basic information. I could be wrong on that account though. Go to Comment
Honestly, I agree with Scras' comment, but not his vote. In the past, you've talked about PCs having goals and the GM including them in the game where appropriate, but this is the first time I think you've really gone in-depth on that. I rather enjoyed this one, even though it seemed a smidge dry. Basic isn't always a bad thing: we all need to go back to the basics sometimes, simply because we didn't pick it up the first time through, we're just now learning it, or because with more experience we can understand and apply it better. Go to Comment
Why would anyone pass through a strange, somewhat dangerous area? As was hinted, some avoid it, some don't. But let's see:
- because they are in a hurry (want to get fast _to_ or _from_ something?)
- because they want to stay undetected
- because they are curious
- because of a malfunction they drifted into the area
- because they don't know any better (or someone 'updated' their database)
...which are all perfectly valid reasons. What'd be the fun in a game, if all journeys were constant and safe? This region does not seem too dangerous, but it doesn't need much to make for an outstanding adventure background. As long as it is usable to some, it is worth considering. Go to Comment
It's the typical Dead Zone in space, with a few specific little details to flesh it off that.
Given that it's apparently based off of Firefly, I'll leave my nitpicks about the veracity of it aside; video media producers have never been particularly good about paying attention to that kind of detail because the majority of the audience will be at least as clueless. Go to Comment