+2 Kinsey. HAH. Go to Comment

Sir Cumcision - because there's no end to those pricks.

That's the one that got me the most. I know I have a few pun-based ideas around somewhere... I'll try to add them. Go to Comment

Trident (Try Dent) - A Hammer that can't seem to leave a mark.

Bracers of Armor - The people who hold your armor still while you put it on.

Ring of Friend Shield - A loop on the back of your buddy's shirt.

Elven Chain - When all those hippies link hands and stand in front of a tree trying to prevent humans from chopping it down.

Nine Lives Stealer - Another way to skin the cat.

The One Ring - What you get when you call Neo's cell phone. Go to Comment

Shape Changing Ring -

It's pretty flexible, you could probably bend it into a square or triangle.

Horn of Blasting -

Dynamite attached to a visor.

Mind Flair -

A pin or brooch that telepathically displays all of your eclectic and witty thoughts for everyone to hear. Go to Comment

Total Bastard Sword and Half Plate made me LoL Go to Comment

Rose Colored Spectacles-These make people see what they want to see and are often dangerous to wear for long periods of time (eg, someone might see a giant spider and mistake it for a treasure chest full of gold.) Go to Comment

I want to write some of these. Go to Comment

Fire Alarm-if someone presses it, a jet of fire shoots out of the button and burns the person's hand. Go to Comment

Sir Prize-a knight who beleaves in setting ambushes Go to Comment

This should be a submission. Go to Comment

Bolt of Hellacious Seasonings: made with salt, black pepper, hot sauce, and lemon juice; stings and burns indeed.. Go to Comment

You forgot the 'um' after every third letter. Go to Comment

(The first one I think of, and of course it's naughty...)

Ring of Protection: It must be unrolled before use. No, it doesn't go on your finger. Go to Comment

Deck of Many Things: When a card is drawn, it creates one of several items, or evokes a change in the environment.

Wicker chair--conjuration
Cold beer--conjuration
Pretty sunset--alteration/evocation
Wobbly table--conjuration
Deck of cards--conjuration (with a 1% chance that this is also a magical deck--this card is how these things reproduce) Go to Comment

Chain Mail +5: Some time after this item is donned, the links separate and securely bind the wearer and five of his closest buddies. Note--only works on victims with Y-chromosomes. Go to Comment

(I have actually introduced this one into the game.)

Amulet of Cleavage: This medallion consists of a silver oval highly polished to a mirror finish. Engraved into the center is an arrow, pointing upward. When noticed, the Amulet of Cleavage reflects the viewer's eyes back at him (and also possibly the sun). Accompanied by the arrow, this is a not-so-subtle reminder that the wearer's eyes are a bit further north. Some of these devices have an inscription beneath the arrow: "Hey! Look up here!" Go to Comment

Whyme: God of Atheism. In some lands this divine entity is known as Norelpref. Go to Comment

(Yet another one that actually saw in-game usage)

Giant Strength Belt: It adds one level to the wearer's Strength attribute. The drawback: it's huge, twelve feet wide and over a ton of leather. It's long enough to span a river. Go to Comment

There can be only one punishment for failing to submit to the Items of Groan. They must be tied to the bed and then spanked soundly. Then you may do with them as you wish.

A spanking! A spanking! Go to Comment

OMG yes.... Go to Comment