Half-elf ninja. Woo.
I find it utterly uninteresting. The backstory does nothing for me.
Do elves in your world often have Japanese names? Is that the flavor of their language, or is this just to make him more ninja-like?
There are some good aspects. It isn't terrible, but it's not great, either.
P.S.- You don't need to put in all those D&D stats. Go to Comment
Here's the problem that I have with this character's name, and remember, this is just my opinion.
It doesn't mesh with the rest of the setting.
Do elves regularly have Japanese names? If so, it's allright. But I gather that it is just him who has the Japanese name, and that's bizarre. Why would the parent just randomly bestow a full Japanese name on him? I mean, hello Allarlith, hello Saelorinon, hello Eol, hello... Matsuro Hana?!
You see what I mean? It just doesn't... fit.
Well, that's my two cents, anyway. Go to Comment
I found the character to be somewhat interesting. I forgive the game mechanics sprinkled inside because of the amount of description and none of it was cryptic/system specific. The character has enough history and hooks to make it interesting, but not overly so. All in all, not a bad submission by any standard. Go to Comment
Not a bad character, there is ample discription, and it is fairly well written also. I would have to agree with the captain, however, in that Hatsuro doesn't really stand out. I think he might be more interesting if the Crocodile Dundee was brought more to the surface than the Bruce Lee.
One comment on Alpha. A normal great dane is a huge animal if you get the chance to be around on. Most I have been around are nearly four foot tall at the shoulder, and one was nearly four and a half. They are already large dogs, much larger than wolves. They also already tip the scales near the 200 lb mark. A wolf hybrid that is twice the size of a dane, and only 200 lbs is going to look like the canine version of a scarecrow.
I would suggest dropping Alpha to a manageable size, unless he is specifically supposed to be the size of a horse, or up hiw weight to the 500-600 lb range. If you do bump his weight up I would suggest changing his wolf breeding to dire wolf stock, which did grow to stunningly large size.
Lastly, quick fact. Dogs lap up water with their tongues while a wolf will put his muzzle in the water and 'slurp' This is a test done with real life wolf hybrids to see if they can be legally kept. A hybrid can be as much as 15/16th's wolf blood, and as long as it drinks like a dog, it can be owned as a pet. If not, it has to be euthanized or handed over the licensed wolfbreeders who work with the animal agencies. Sorry for such a long responce, but I was on a roll
Okay, a psionic japanese ninja/thief who is described as dishonored, heartless, blah. Why a japanese name? Because, though it might not fit, it is kawaii, right?
All in all, I can say for sure that I will not use this chap in any of my campaigns. He ain't got no real goals, and seems pretty bland. Coupled with the pretty excessive martial arts, and, to add munchkinism, psionic, he earns a 2 on my scale. Go to Comment
Actually I never really designed him as a ninja. I more designed him along the lines of bruce lee meets crocodile dundee. And I love the japanese language, so I gave him that name. Which in Japanese means "Fate's Edge", the name given to a powerful artifact in his world. Hopefully I should put that up later on the site. Go to Comment
I can understand ye problem with the name...it isn't an elven name. His father was the oriental one. And since he was raised in a human setting, he took on a local name...Hope that helps explain it. Go to Comment
I once read a book about a group of people who discovered a hidden temple city in a mountain range, where the Incas-the ancient civilisation of Peru- had fled to when the spanish invaded. When this group found the burial chamber of one of the inca high priests, they unleashed a powerful curse upon them all...