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Strolen's Citadel: Browsing 's Comments
 
Strolen\s Citadel content. 
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
MoonHunter's comment on 2005-12-28 12:52 PM
Folks, this post has been challanged... so unless you actually want to say something positive about the post in an attempt to save it, leave it alone.

Just in case you, our barbarian horde, come back to look at your post...

First: Review!
Review the top rated posts of the category you want to post it. If you want to do an item, click into items, then the highest rated (in red) and it will give you a list of the best items. Read the first ten or so.

Second: Effort!
Put some thought into your post. Take your time putting the post into print. Taking time to do a post right shows you care not only about your audience and yourself, but you care about the thing you are posting about. If you aren't spending a minimum of 15 to 30 minutes on the post, it will probably be abused and low rated. Most of us spend 45 to 60 minutes on a post. Remember, you will spend more time actually thinking about your post before you put it up, if you want to do it right.

Remember that you can edit your post, so if you find something wrong, go back and fix it.

Third: Check it!
I really mean it. Go through your posts. Make sure it follows the basic rules of grammar. Sentences start with capital letters, end with punctuation, and have everything moderately correct in between. Extra lines should be inserted between paragraphs (and there should be paragraphs). I can not stress the next part more that simply scream, "Spell check!". If you can, copy (from web site) and paste (into word processor) your post into a WP with spell check. Run the spell check (and the grammar check if it has it). Copy and paste it back. If you do this, it will automatically improve your post by one point (on average). If we can simply and easily read your post, we can start critiquing it rather than your awful spelling.


If English is not your primary language, let us know. However, be warned that many of our best posters have English as a second, third, or even fourth language. So all we ask is that you continue to work at it, to get it right. http://www.strolen.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=1559


Fourth: Completeness!
Your posts needs to tell us nearly everything about the subject. You should strive for items that are generic, rather than dependent on a specific setting or campaign. While being vague can help make the item more "generic", you need to "imply" the answers. (For example: while my game might not have Rykor the BloodSlayer, I can figure out an approximate match "The most dreaded demon riding Dark Knight in history.") Implied answers act as guidelines for the GM/ Player adapting the post.

To be complete, your post needs to answer; "Who is involved?", "What is happening (and where and when)?" and "How and why things occur?". If it is an item or setting then include: What is the item/place? and What can it do?

Details are not as important as completeness. Read your post. Is there anything that someone (who doesn't know your campaign and the backstory) might have a question about? If you find such a question, edit the write up and include the answer to that question. Keep reading your post until you have answered every question (including ones that seem really stupid... there are a lot of really stupid people out there).

Fifth: NO GAME MECHANICS
This is a game system neutral site. We have less idea about how strong or powerful the item is using game specific rules. 200 could translate into 4k2, 9rpd/25pd, AC 4, or what ever. If you have to include the numbers, do so after the description space.


Sixth: The Gold Standard
If your post could not be part of a published fantasy novel, it needs work. That is what you should aim for.

If your item/ npc/ plot/ setting is not as well described and developed as something you would find in a published fantasy novel (excluding most DnD licensed novels), then it is not equal to the gold standard and needs work.

This standard is really not that hard to meet. New members often meet it on their first or second try. You do not need to be a professional writer, you just need to put a little effort into doing it right. Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Scrasamax's comment on 2009-07-01 04:08 PM
Update: Removed from the Archive of Death and annotated as a How Not To write example of a submission. Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Scrasamax's comment on 2011-02-08 10:32 PM
Not necessarily, there is an 11th century Tale of Genji, purportedly the first novel, and there is a Genji family, and there are no shortage of Japanese action and RPGs that involve the Genji theme. Final Fantasy might just be the best known, and probably the most topical. Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Cheka Man's comment on 2005-12-28 11:09 AM
This is dreadful. Who made the armour and why? What does it look like? Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
valadaar's comment on 2013-05-15 11:25 AM
A great example of making use of an otherwise - questionable - submission.
Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-02-08 10:09 AM


A useful guide for new members, nice to see it getting some sort of worthwhile use :)



 



(On a side note I do believe the armor is from the video game Final Fantasy VI, known as FF III in America for a long time.)


Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Silveressa's comment on 2011-02-08 10:10 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
play: Bad Example Dissection
Items  (Armor)   (Heroic)
Ramhir's comment on 2011-02-08 08:14 PM


{Gah! At least mine weren't *that* bad!}



Thirty minutes of perusal of the submissions in the Citadel should give anyone an idea of how to write up a sub that is better than this one. The subber couldn't have given it any sort of effort. Even my high school creative writing students would have done a better job than this. Thanks, Scras, for showing us a truely awful sub.


Go to Comment
Evil mischief with gremlins
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Strolen's comment on 2002-09-12 04:45 AM
Could even make it a twisted part of your nemesis lair. Who says all evil overloards have to have torture dungeons?

Could take any one idea and use it seperately as well. Just the reverse gravity room with spikes on the ceiling/floor would be very bad for the players health.

The temptation of a lone ore cart just sitting at the entrance of long cave. Perhaps have a rope connected to it for a means of self propelling by a pulley system so the characters have the illusion of being in control. Throw in a hill and suddenly reaching the end of rope leaves them out of control and at the mercy of the track that can end up wherever. Go to Comment
Evil mischief with gremlins
Locations  (City)   (Any)
Mourngrymn's comment on 2005-12-05 02:53 PM
I found the one paragraphs difficult to read actually. It seems entertaining but that along with the movie comments turns me off this. It seems like a bunch of mives were slammed together to get this idea. it has potential but it needs work, to me. Go to Comment
Evil mischief with gremlins
Locations  (City)   (Any)
CrimsonShadow's comment on 2005-12-05 11:58 AM
What keeps the creators from coming back? Why do the gremlins bother with it? Do people come there often enough to keep them entertained? A lit bit of background for the place would go a long way. Go to Comment
Evil mischief with gremlins
Locations  (City)   (Any)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-23 12:00 PM
Added silly freetext. Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2005-08-05 05:21 AM
And they could have pets, and real imaginary friends, and you could get fat from the imaginary tea and muffins.

5/5
Thevail Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
ephemeralstability's comment on 2002-05-15 08:22 PM
I like this idea: it's very original and would lead to some really good roleplaying. I'll try to try it out sometime. Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Ria Hawk's comment on 2002-10-11 08:03 PM
And what if the children are, in the words of an experienced babysitter: evil little gremlins. You know, the type that like to cause trouble for no reason. Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Cheka Man's comment on 2011-07-29 09:48 AM


Fun,something that can't be solved by cutting it apart.


Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Dragon Lord's comment on 2005-02-28 08:59 AM
All hail the Random Plot, for without it I’d never have found this

What a great idea – Home Alone meets fantasy role-play – I’m already having evil little thoughts

A definite 5/5 Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
Monument's comment on 2005-08-05 06:58 AM
A decent enough idea on it's own, but...

What could POSSIBLY compel a party to actually accept the mantle they are being given? They get to babysit kids whom the parents KNOW to be troublemakers, and they have to pay for any damages they cause? Simply by saying that as DM, you let the players know that damages WILL be caused, and therefore it will cost the party money to take the job. With a setup as described above, my guys would say "thanks but no thanks."

But, the idea is workable if you have a need of the parent's help in some way(they have information, the PC's need an ally, etc). So, 3/5. Go to Comment
Babysitting
Plots  (Hired)   (Side-Quest)
valadaar's comment on 2013-04-25 11:33 AM
I could see this working in the correct circumstances, though the comments present reasonable concerns. Go to Comment
Total Comments:
19

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