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Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
manfred's comment on 2004-07-26 07:25 AM
Well...

...this character was submitted four times, so after some considering I have deleted the three others, seeing no difference between them. Please be a bit more careful next time.

As for the Character itself, it is very good! Member of an enslaved race, that wants to learn about the enemies culture, and possibly free others... many plot hooks and events can arise around him.

(Please separate the text a bit, it is quite a big chunk.)

4/5 Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2004-07-26 05:05 PM
Mmmm-hmmm...

In addition to separating the paragraphs, you might want to check the grammar and spelling.
Otherwise, it's pretty good.

4/5. Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
MoonHunter's comment on 2004-07-27 01:52 AM
Can I just echo what everyone else says. In addition to that, I like the little details associated with the character. The necklace stands out in my mind more than the others, but all the tiny details are good. Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Maggot's comment on 2004-07-26 08:17 AM
lol.Sorry about that. I kinda forgot that evrytime I edited the post,I wasn't supposed to hit the submit button. And Im glad you liked the character. I got my idea of a primitive stone age culture clashing with a powerful,civilized one,from the colonization of Australia by the British and the subsequent genocide that followed. Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Maggot's comment on 2004-07-28 08:54 AM
Thanks for your input,guys. I've made all the necessary changes.And Scrasamax,my special thanks to you to point out out the impossibility of a creature with a thick tail, to walk upright.Stuff like that was never my strong point,lol Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Maggot's comment on 2004-07-28 09:03 AM
For pointing out I mean Go to Comment
Baragh son of Lard
NPCs  (Major)   (Religious)
Scrasamax's comment on 2004-07-27 02:48 PM
I like this character, and the fact that is both detailed, and has some personal history as well as a goal.

I would also have to agree with the Cap'n. There are a few pesky spelling errors, and the giant paragraph could use a few breaks.

I do have one question, if he is bipedal, wouldn't a large counterbalancing tail be both cumbersome, and often in the way? I only bring up the point since the tail is an extension of the spine, and a bipedal creature has a vertical spine, forcing a large, and likely rigid tail (If it is used as a counterweight to the upper torso when moving on all fours) directly down.

4/5 Go to Comment
Gorlock
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
MoonHunter's comment on 2004-08-21 02:44 AM
It is interesting, but not too intersting. It has a bit of a back story which is good. It is reasonable filled out for an NPC. It has some limited campaign uses. I think the score is a bit high, but it is a good servicable character with backstory and campaign hooks. Go to Comment
Gorlock
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Maggot's comment on 2004-08-21 01:03 AM
Give me some feedback on my character please,guys Go to Comment
Gorlock
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
Maggot's comment on 2004-08-21 11:56 PM
lol,that's a good enough compliment, for what was my first post! Go to Comment
Gorlock
NPCs  (Minor)   (Criminal/Espionage)
valadaar's comment on 2014-05-08 10:48 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Total Comments:
812

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