Strolen\s Citadel content. 
Bogonu
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
Murometz's comment on 2007-10-05 08:31 PM
Sweet Mary, this was long! But good. Maybe a little scrollage or some other formatting tricks would prove helpful, making this somewhat easier on the eyes.

Wow, this is bizarre! So much info to absorb, i will have come back with more comments after rereading it again (good lord!)

Beware! The Frogs Cometh!

Her voice inevitably trembles as she describes her repeated vision of a vile, repulsive being that terrorizes her dreams the moment sleep claims her. For the next few moments, the elders listen enthralled as she tells them in a hushed, frightened tone of the hideous giant frog that forces its vile, grotesquely large member into her until her very genitals begin to seep a blood that seems all too horribly real, causing her to awaken screaming and praying that someone will come to save her from the monster's vile embrace.

Good gods!! What have ye wrought, Magggot?!?! (slap a NC-17 rating on this or something, HAHAHA)

Its creepy, its disgusting, its squishy, its primal, and oh so amphibious! I approve. Go to Comment
Bogonu
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
Stomphoof's comment on 2007-10-05 09:22 AM
Very neat creation myth/story. Go to Comment
Bogonu
Lifeforms  (Fauna)   (Swamp)
Railus's comment on 2007-10-08 05:28 PM
Creepy. Just creepy. Go to Comment
Temple Of Inaha
Locations  (World)   (Water)
Maggot's comment on 2007-09-16 06:10 AM
I don't how it happened, but this is not supposed to be part of the on-going quest. Go to Comment
Temple Of Inaha
Locations  (World)   (Water)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-09-17 08:36 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
Temple Of Inaha
Locations  (World)   (Water)
valadaar's comment on 2007-09-17 09:45 AM
Very nice, though it could benifit from some breaking into sections - right now it seems more like a tale then anything else. There are some minor wording issues:

"massive water-spouts rear up giant sea serpents"
"It is their greatest hoe and prayer"

But given the amount of text, the problem areas are minor indeed. Go to Comment
Temple Of Inaha
Locations  (World)   (Water)
Wulfhere's comment on 2007-09-18 07:29 PM
I really like this one, although it does go on a while. The myths of the primitive folk make for an impressive tapestry of surrent ritual and superstition mixed with ancient legend. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Barbarian Horde's comment on 2007-08-17 03:11 PM
spellcheck, Mag, spellcheck. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Ria Hawk's comment on 2007-08-28 04:18 AM
Darn it, now I have the urge to do something with this bugger and my character, Jaith. I don't need more plotbunnies attacking me, I have enough things to do... Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Maggot's comment on 2007-08-25 03:15 AM
Ok guys, it's been finished. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-08-17 05:47 PM
It needs to be spellchecked and finished. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-08-25 04:50 PM
A threat to the elete. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
Chaosmark's comment on 2007-08-25 08:23 PM
Iiiiinteresting. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-25 07:12 AM
I like it - Quite good, and well written. It does require a very specific world view in that the actions and behaviour of the gods are defined very specifically, and has a feel of a fantasy Bolshevik revolution. Go to Comment
The Forgochi
Items  (Armor)   (Sentient)
valadaar's comment on 2007-08-17 04:41 PM
Agree with the horde. I'd put this back in work until you clean it up.

I hope this was submitted in this state by accident, and based on your earler work, thats my guess. Go to Comment
The Uroghi
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Underground)
manfred's comment on 2007-08-05 05:24 AM
Roack voiced my thoughts pretty well already.

An interesting world secret, and a solid alien presence from an unexpected place. Good writing as always. Go to Comment
The Uroghi
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Underground)
CaptainPenguin's comment on 2007-08-05 02:50 PM
I LOVE it. Rather Lovecraftian, really Go to Comment
The Uroghi
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Underground)
Scrasamax's comment on 2007-08-05 11:47 PM
I would clean up all the bolding at the end and save it just for the paragraph headers, otherwise this is a delight to read, sometihng that would have come slunking up from the depths of Lovecraftian mythos. Good work. Go to Comment
The Uroghi
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Underground)
Cheka Man's comment on 2007-08-05 10:03 AM
Only voted Go to Comment
The Uroghi
Lifeforms  (Third Kingdom)   (Underground)
Roack's comment on 2007-08-05 01:15 AM
Wow! That's a big sub!
You have a significant amount of typos and other spelling/grammatical errors, but otherwise, these are amazing beings. I'd also suggest condensing it a little, but that's not a terribly big deal.
Highlights:
The opening narrative
The physical description Go to Comment
Total Comments:
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